Day 1

A

AtheneNoctua

Newcomer
I have generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and panic disorder. I probably also have social anxiety disorder and hypochondriasis. A therapist suggested it might be because my mom's body attacked me in the womb due to the Rh factor. Even the haven of my mother's womb wasn't safe. Regardless, I've suffered from severe anxiety for most of my life. I was raised by a somewhat anal mother and a father who hid is social anxiety. My sister suffers from severe social anxiety. My mom, sister, and I have migraines, my dad and I have IBS, and my mom, dad, and I have back problems.

In fourth grade I woke up with an excruciating pain in my neck. My mom told me that it was due to a draft. I had back and neck problems on-and-off after this, and my parents started taking me to the chiropractor. They told me I had scoliosis. In ninth grade my back went out four times in one week. During this time I also developed IBS. Sometime in high school I demanded treatment for my panic attacks, so I was put on Paxil, which I eventually quit when the side-effects outweighed the benefits. Never, ever do what I did (quit cold turkey). I was stupid and it could have killed me.

During the last year of college, my dancing group disbanded, so I have not been getting regular exercise. I graduated and had trouble finding a job. During this time I developed hypochondriasis and sciatica. I'm certain that not dancing at least three nights a week is a major factor in the increase in the severity of my TMS and anxiety symptoms.

I'm so thankful to have found out about TMS and Dr. Sarno. I'm even more thankful that there are free and affordable options for TMS sufferers. Based on what I've read, I am a textbook TMS sufferer. I have no doubt that I have TMS; I also suspect that my anxiety disorders are also ways for my brain to distract me from "unacceptable" thoughts and feelings. I'm concerned that I won't be able to become aware of my feelings; I think I'm emotionally blunted, so becoming aware of my feelings is going to be a big goal for me.

Thanks for making this wiki and forum available.

P.S. My inner critic is telling me that it's self-obsessed and gross to talk about myself so much in this post. At least I'm aware that it's an attack by the inner critic.
 
Welcome, AtheneNoctua, and this is an excellent Day 1 post! It's just the right length with just the right amount of information, it's very readable, and you have a positive and constructive outlook. And a little self-poke, which I love. You'll be able to look back on this later to see how far you've come (use your Profile page to find your old posts - it's very useful).

For anxiety, if you've never heard of Claire Weekes, I highly recommend her little book Hope and Help For Your Nerves. It was the #2 book that saved my life after The Divided Mind.

I am convinced that self-acceptance and self-love are essential for doing this work. What I like to say is that you have to love yourself enough to know that you deserve to heal.

To start with, you can give yourself a lot of credit and love for being here and being willing to open your mind to a completely different way of thinking about your emotional and physical health!

Keep posting,

~Jan
 
Hi, Athene. I also welcome you to the TMS forum community. Jan's advice is excellent. Claire Weeks offers wonderful help with anxiety.

I healed from severe back pain when I journaled in the SEProgram and realized I was repressing a lot of anger from my childhood when my parents divorced when I was seven. It helped me to understand them better and to forgive them (years after both had died). You may be repressing anger from your parents during your early years. You may have to work on forgiving them. They must have had their own anxieties and pain, caused by their own TMS emotions.

You most likely have a lot of emotions going around in your head, which is understandable. I think you would find it very helpful to practice daily meditation to calm your mind. My favorite is the Relaxation Response...

The RR, practiced daily for a few minutes has a profound positive effect on the subconscious mind, relieving or curing everything from inflammation and pain to headaches, stomach problems, insomnia, high blood pressure, to even aiding in recovery from cancer.

RR is like Tanscendental Meditation which is taught by TM specialists who charge hundreds or thousands of dollars. But the RR is free and you can do it yourself.


It is done 20 minutes once or twice a day, before a meal and works best if not practiced within two hours after a meal. I do it in bed before arising in the morning and again in bed before falling sleep. Often, I only do it 5 or 10 minutes and it works to calm me and put me to sleep.


Just sit in a chair (or lie in bed in the morning or at bedtime), close your eyes, don’t listen to any music, and try to avoid outside noises. Let your mind think of a word such as "One " which has no real meaning or association. Or say a calming word such as “Peace,” or add the faith or spiritual element by saying a favorite religious word.

Say the word silently over and over. At the end of the 10 to 20 minutes, picture and feel yourself as you were when you felt your best, and in a place where you felt that way.

When distracting thoughts arise during the RR, as they will, just tell yourslf, “Oh, well,” and go back to repeating your chosen word. Transcendental Meditation teachers will charge hundreds of dollars to give practitioners a word, but the word you choose yourself in the RR works just as well.

There are several free videos on Youtube about the Relaxation Response. I especially recommend these two by Dr. Benson:


 
thanks for the vids Walt. I do meditation but was looking for something more specific help with tms
 
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