Could scar tissue be cause

riverrat

riverrat

Well known member
Hi everyone
So I continue moving on with ups and downs since accepting tms and stopping physical modalities. The tms route has proved more improvememt than any of the physical stuff I've tried all year. But Im still struggling.

I had this many years back but it just got better after a couple years. It was maybe 90-95% improved probably. I'm not sure. All I know is it improved to ehere I didn't think about it much and I lived life as i wanted most all the time.

But then last summer 2015 it returned after a stressful many months. Biggest of it was dealing with a terminally Ill alcoholic brother in a coma. I ended up taking care of him with no help from his grown kids. Nothing physical occurred at the time to my body, but I felt overwhelmed taking care of him, and my mom, and my kids. My brother is now living in a nursing home. There is a court order for protective placement and he needs to be there but he wants to get his own place. He's not as sick as he was but he's still incompetent with brain damage From the coma and alcoholism. He's been verbally abusive the whole time to my mom and some to me. I turned over guardianship in April because I felt too stressed out and it was hurting g my job from the time I put in for his needs. I thought that would cure me but it didn't.

Years ago I've made the connection that this pelvic pain started shortly after my husband got a vasectomy. It made me sad and i guess angry at him because I didn't want him to do it. I wanted more kids. But that was many years ago And i felt I healed quite a bit and moved on From that because of the pain improved and had gone away quite a bit.

Now it returned. In physical therapy a few months ago, the pt said I had a lot of tight episotimies scar tissue possibly causing pain. That area is a big part of the pain. But I had the last kid 14 years ago. Could scar tissue from years ago really cause this pain? The pain Comes and goes even throughout day and I definitely have better days. Plus it wasn't there for several years. The first occurrence of pelvic pain was when the youngest was 3. It can't be the scar tissue, can it??? After pt work, she even said it was much better, and scar tissue felt broken up. But the psin wasn't.
So my question is cam scar tissue cause tms psin, or is it not even related to the scar tissue to begin with?
 
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My symptoms are perineum, vaginal, even rectal so I would love to hear any success from others. I use to have sciatica, and low back and tailbone. That seems to be mostly gone, most days anyway, but this frustrating pelvic floor tension pain is still kicking my butt. Literally.

My pain very much can disapear when I'm talking to happy people I like being around. Being around difficult people and circumstances of stress increase it. That says tms all the way I would think because strong enough distracted too a definitely can lessen or dissolve pain at times.
 
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Hi riverrat, and welcome.

You clearly have a handle on the TMS process, and insight into your own emotions. I think the trouble is that the brain is a really tricky devil - it will catch you unawares anytime it sees an opening - and stress is the perfect opening, yeah?

The stress of caring for your brother opens the door to all those other emotions - self-imposed guilt and anger - both of which are seen to be unacceptable by the conscious brain. The imposition upon you had to be enraging. Certainly you must know about caretaker syndrome. I guess I'm saying that it's no wonder you've got symptoms again!

As for the scar tissue being the source of your current pain - I think it's because our deep memories never really go away. Your brain knows exactly where to find an area that once had pain, and is perfectly capable of "using" that area again, any time in the future. That's what phantom limb pain is all about - it's very real pain, without the presence of the limb - that's because pain is created by the brain, NOT by the nerves at the site of the pain.

There's a lot of interesting research being done around this phenomenon, but the real reason that old pain becomes chronic pain is still a mystery to the scientists. But there was a famous case in which a neuroscientist cured an amputee of most of his limb pain by fooling the patient's brain with the use of a mirror. (search for VS Ramchanadran and phantom limb pain).

But I digress - I might also be that the stress and guilt about dealing with your brother has rekindled the resentment towards your husband - and I only suggest that because, again, the brain is not only a tricky devil, but a very weird beast, making all kinds of strange connections as we deal with our emotions every day.

It certainly makes sense that the pain came back AFTER you had been able to delegate the care of your brother. When you're in the middle of a crisis, the crisis itself acts as the distraction. It's only after you have time to think and feel that your brain needs to find a different distraction to keep you from acknowledging all of the negative emotions that the situation created.

What I hope for you is that you can forgive and accept yourself for your feelings of resentment about both of these situations, because the emotional damage that most of us do is to blame ourselves for our feelings and our actions - feelings and actions which are in fact completely normal under the circumstances.

Good luck,

~Jan
 
Jan
Thank you so much for taking the time to write and for your understanding and encouragement! It all makes so much sense.

You know, when my problems started years ago, my dad was very ill. I did all I could to help, but my kids were babies and so little then. I went to appts, went the hospital so often pushing the strollers with my kids, ( my poor kids and I lived at that hospital it seemed with my dad), I set up nursing care at home to help but my mom really took care of him. Poor lady. Interesting that she developdd atrial fibrilation of her heart and got a pacemaker during that time too. my siblings didn't help her, only me. One brother was too busy being drunk all the time. Ugh

Other than the difficulty of his alcoholism and refusing treatment, I felt the situation recently with my brother was so similar to my dad's because we were told since June of 2015, he would die anytime. He actually proved them wrong. Symptoms started in July 2015 for me - one month after. Interesting.
I feared my dad dying through the years he was so sick. I feared that with my brother too. I don't so much anymore. It seems uncomfortable to say, but I feel like when my dad died, i got better. I guess the fear of him dying lifted and the struggle day to say for him was gone. I feel selfish said that.

My sister died suddenly 5 months after he died, but strangely I coped very well.
But when this came on with my brother, a multitude of emotions came on for different reasons.
 
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in addition the last year has been challenging with my oldest kid being a little difficult towards me plus him wanting freedom to do what he wants, driving all over, and just doing things that make me very nervous. I worry about him being safe all the time, and I really need help to stop worrying about my kids so much! The growing up thing has been very hard for me- I'm extremely over protective.
 
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Wow. And Wow again. I'm amazed you're still standing - give yourself credit for that, girl!
riverrat said:
I feel selfish said that.
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And FORGIVE yourself for that. And then tell your brain that it is a completely normal and acceptable thing to say and to feel, and that you don't need to be afraid of it anymore.

riverrat said:
The growing up thing has been very hard for me- I'm extremely over protective.
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Isn't this normal? LOL - my mom seemed to be so cool when we were growing up - and I know they had tough times with my two youngest siblings after I was gone. It was years later that she admitted how freaked out she was over some of the things we all did.

Love yourself for everything you've been through - and know that you deserve to get through this as well.
 
Angel,

I can't really anything to @JanAtheCPA's beautifully compassionate response. You've been through hell and now it is time to soothe and heal. We can't change the past but we can make peace with it. That can take time but it does come. True forgiveness is felt in the body. It is a deep release and a literal letting-go that softens our hearts and ushers in much healing.

I'd like to share a video with you. The gorgeous woman who created this youtube channel has a personal history of abuse and trauma that she fully recovered from. Her perspective is spiritual and goddess-oriented, with a sweet focus on love.

In this video she tells how she overcame depression and regained her natural passionate love for life by healing her heart chakra. I'm aware such things are not for everyone and I suggest viewing this through a poetic eye if that be the case because her advice is sound. All of us benefit from healing our hearts and opening to the gifts of life and love. I hope you enjoy this:


With love,

Plum x

(Should the link not work, the youtube channel is Flourishing Goddess and the vlog is 'Tips to Heal and Open Your Beautiful Heart).
 
Hi riverrat. Just a quick idea for you. Mindfulness, something I'm starting to learn about myself, might be a practice that could help you deal with everything that's going on as you heal. For me, it's generating an awareness of the emotions and feelings that trigger my symptoms. Maybe it can help you too. There's a great book if you're interested.

Fully Present by Susan Smalley.

Be well.
 
Thank you all sweet people for your suggestions, ideas, and encouragement!
I'm thinking the scar tissue ISN'T the source, but rather just tms and the stess that causes it. The physical therapist telling me about it after all these years was probably a coincidence because it's probably always been there for the last 14 years since the last baby ( and was probably there when I wasn't in pain too) and this was just the first time anyone ever looked at it.
 
riverrat said:
Thank you all sweet people for your suggestions, ideas, and encouragement!
I'm thinking the scar tissue ISN'T the source, but rather just tms and the stess that causes it. The physical therapist telling me about it after all these years was probably a coincidence because it's probably always been there for the last 14 years since the last baby ( and was probably there when I wasn't in pain too) and this was just the first time anyone ever looked at it.
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Yes! It's just so easy to assume that what doctors tell us is true. Not always the case, but we love them anyway for what they can do.
 
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