Chronic pain

I think it’s tempting to think that chronic pain is a condition —kind of like a disease. But it isn’t. It’s an expression. It’s a reaction. It’s your body talking. It’s saying: “Ouch. We’re in trouble.”

Emotion is causing your pain. This is basic Sarno, and should never be forgotten. When you’re in a flare, there’s emotion in you—hiding somewhere. Wanting out.

Chronic pain settles in, yes. It feels permanent and it feels hopeless because what the heck is causing it?

The answer is emotion! I believe with all my heart that my chronic pain is mostly caused by chronic emotional problems. You don’t necessarily have to get rid of the circumstance, or people causing your emotional problems… But you have to stop lying to yourself about them. And you have to change how you react to them, and/or how you deal with them on an ongoing basis.

 

Your insight is spot-on: pain screams rage and fear from these family dynamics. Journaling has helped you, but endless writing about their chaos while nothing changes in their camp? Imo you're spinning wheels—these aren't truly your troubles (just by association). Your son's dangerous drinking is his mess; your other son's meanness is his poison; your sister's narcissism is her issue.

Your life, mind, and body are contorting around them.

Symptoms will quiet when you stop holding your life hostage, tangled up in their issues—wishing things were different. Journal what you want (Europe housesitting?) for joy independent of them and take (baby) steps towards pursing it. Peace isn't theirs to give—it's yours to claim.

 

We TMSers are over thinkers. We can engage in a debate about whether or not our assessment of the state of our lives is objectively awful or if it is all subjective. But I think the issue is that no one can endure the kind of scrutiny our minds impose on ourselves, our lives, our circumstances, our relationships. Our brains are trained to find something wrong so we can fix it or defend against it. But it's impossible to create any kind of lasting peace of mind this way. We are driving ourselves crazy and our bodies are rebelling.

The only way out is to shift your thinking away from all this to something neutral or some creative endeavor. I know how hard it is. I struggle with this daily. Though not easy, it is possible to shift our thinking away from a constant assessment of the state of our lives. What has complicated things in TMS world is that a certain amount of self reflection and self analysis is necessary. But I think we all forget that it needs to be time limited. Nicole Sachs recommends 20 minutes a day and then 10 minutes of meditation. Then STOP. Move on. Live, do, create.

 

spot on Ellen!
Ruminating and then trying to dig into emotions of rumination is just getting on the TMS hamster wheel.
Explore the situation, feel the feels once. Notice the habits of ruminating about a subject two or three times, then begin to redirect the mind. I realized I was constantly just chewing cud and that fed the anxiety.

 

I've had a rough weekend and suffered a bit of a retreat into the medical mindset. I need to get back to assume of the books and practices this week. I think I might switch to Schubiner.