But I don't have fear of physical activity

[Tom Bultman]

I've been going through the educational program and now on day 19 which talks about being a prisoner of the pain cycle and specifically about the feat of walking. I have had chronic low to moderate low back pain for 9 months. I am an avid cyclist and it does not stop me from riding, but it does get me angry/depressed that I cannot ride fast without the nagging pain. Sometimes it is better, but often it is a problem. But, I don't fear cycling. I also exercise routinely, even though it hurts - more often than not it helps some. I have seen a TMS physician, who diagnosed me with TMS about a month ago, but I don't seem to fit the profile. What do you think of this?

 

[Enrique]

Hi, when you say you don't fit the profile what do you mean?

 

[Enrique]

Actually, I re read your post. I think you mean that you aren't afraid to exercise, right? Well, I'm not afraid of exercise either but I definitely am a TMSer. I'm still trying to figure out how to be 100% symptom free, forever. That's my Holy Grail.

Right now I'm training for a half marathon and I have knee pain and low back pain which I'm overcoming. It's not unusual to have pains and be active. The key is to try not to experience fear or give attention to the pain. That is easier said that done sometimes.

 

[Tom Bultman]

Thanks for responding. I've looked at several of your threads because of your active lifestyle. I guess what I meant by not fitting the profile is that I don't feel imprisoned by the pain, but rather angry. I don't avoid activity, but I don't always work out as hard as I would if I had no pain, that is for sure. I've been dropped several times from group rides in the last 2 weeks and that's depressing - I would not get dropped from those rides normally. I have had back pain for 16 years, but only in the last 9 months has it gotten to be a real problem (I had self diagnosed TMS and read Sarno's books years ago). I've had lots of cracking in my back in the last year and in the back of my mind I began to think there was a structural problem. I began to doubt TMS. With that I went to Chicago to get a physician's diagnosis and it came back TMS. I think the validity of the diagnosis is just now sinking in. I've also been going through the educational program and through the journaling have gotten a better understanding of my emotional identity, which I typically do not feel or even acknowledge. So, I think I'm on the right path. It is very difficult though when the pain is quite intense to tell myself that it is only TMS and nothing is wrong.

 

[Enrique]

Thanks for responding. I've looked at several of your threads because of your active lifestyle. I guess what I meant by not fitting the profile is that I don't feel imprisoned by the pain, but rather angry. I don't avoid activity, but I don't always work out as hard as I would if I had no pain, that is for sure. I've been dropped several times from group rides in the last 2 weeks and that's depressing - I would not get dropped from those rides normally. I have had back pain for 16 years, but only in the last 9 months has it gotten to be a real problem (I had self diagnosed TMS and read Sarno's books years ago). I've had lots of cracking in my back in the last year and in the back of my mind I began to think there was a structural problem. I began to doubt TMS. With that I went to Chicago to get a physician's diagnosis and it came back TMS. I think the validity of the diagnosis is just now sinking in. I've also been going through the educational program and through the journaling have gotten a better understanding of my emotional identity, which I typically do not feel or even acknowledge. So, I think I'm on the right path. It is very difficult though when the pain is quite intense to tell myself that it is only TMS and nothing is wrong.

Ah. Thanks for clarifying. Yeah, I understand what you mean about being angry about the pain. I'm in a similar frame of mind right now as a matter of fact with my knee pain. It took a lot longer than "normal" for me to get to the point where I believe it's TMS. My anger is mostly about that... that TMS distracted me with this knee pain for months. I lost a LOT of fitness because of it and I have to rebuild... so I feel angry.

I think it's great that you got a TMS diagnosis from a doctor. That's a great confidence boost that your pain isn't structurally based. I don't have a TMS doc nearby that I can see so I rely on observation, my past history, support from the wiki to get me to where I believe it's a TMS thing and not structural. But it is hard sometimes to not lookup the injury in Google and let my mind go down the path of thinking there might be a real tendon injury there. It's a battle. The belief that it is TMS gets challenged every time I feel an intense pain twinge during a run, but I use techniques to change my thinking. I use distraction to focus on my good knee and how that feels. That actually helps and I feel the pain less. Or I review the reasons (the evidence) in my mind that this is TMS... i.e It's been months since the initial pain (bones heal in 6 to 8 weeks) so if it was a real injury, it should be healed by now. It sounds like you're on the right path like you said. Sometimes it takes time to break the pain cycle. Have you read Alan Gordon's article Breaking the Pain Cycle. The concepts helped me very recently. I think what I'm going through right now is the "extinction burst". Maybe you are too.