Bit beaten down, need help:)

So, these last days had been going amazing. I was doing great (mind you this is coinciding with upping dosage) but i was more comfortable and i could let sound go and i was so proud of myself. I was already thinking about my barbers appointment (which will probably not be anytime soon) but i was just in a really good mood and i could eat with my parents again (with ear pro), utensils bothered me less, it was all great.

So yesterday evening i suddenly started feeling a lot worse. Pressure in my belly, i felt like i was gonna vomit. I got sweaty and i was just very uncomfortable. I had noticed i was way more sensitive to sound right after dinner and that went on until todays morning and i had an appointment to make an ecg. I wasnt catastrophizing at all but i was aware that i wasnt feeling as great as i had been. I knew that this was the time to prove to myself that id learnt stuff to deal with this a little better

Spoiler: i did not deal with this better. I was just as stressed, sounds were just as stressful and loud. I tried putting my mind off and feeling my body but they just kept coming. Afterwards I cant help but feel a little helpless again. Where is my impact? Where is my influence? I have picked this all up again just to get hit with a setback like that out of nowhere. It wasnt the setback that got to me but the fact that i wasnt able to deal with it better. I felt so helpless again. Want to say I am doing better already and im still not at all catastrophizing.

What are my takeaways supposed to be? Did my symptoms get worse because i had this ecg planned? How can i take matters into my own hands and stop feeling so helpless? I thought that i was doing better because i was doing it better, now i realized that theres still so much not in my control.

I thought id post here to maybe get some support, get some insights get some help. I'm so dedicated to making this work and I just dont wanna give up and thats why im here. What can i improve? How to deal with all this? How can i still keep going without just flat out ignoring my body and making it all worse?

 

Mani,
You are going to go up and down. Just expect it. Getting better isn’t a straight line at all. Getting new symptoms is really typical— because your brain wants you to stop trying to get better. Whenever I get discouraged I like to listen to this guy named Helmut, aka, The Mindful Gardener.

 

Hey diana

thanks for your reply

I know i shouldnt desperately try to get rid of symptoms, but i feel like theres more to this. I should be applying the things ive learnt when symptoms come up. Why do i deal with symptoms so terribly when i get into a situation where they cant be avoided? I need to get better at that right? I'll do some meditating and watch your guy after. Thank you

 

It’s hard. I feel like we all do. Don’t be hard on yourself. Take it easy.