Big breakthrough! Got my hands back!

I have to tell this AMAZING thing that just happened to me! After more than a year, my claw-like, locked up hands just OPENED!

I can freely wiggle my fingers. I can also open my hands flat for the first time in over a year. And I can open and close my hands, which I couldn’t do very well -or at all -on some days. (My reflexes in my hands and arms were cramped up.)

I’ve still got symptoms in my legs. But this hand thing has been the most frustrating, scary and depressing. I was like a crab with pincers. Now I’m human again!!!

I honestly can’t even believe it! I thought it would be slower when it finally happened. It changes EVERYTHING to have my hands back! Plus….talk about HOPE!!!

For anyone who wants to know what I’ve been doing to get better (Aside from overhauling my entire personality, habits, lifestyle—and dumping my sordid past)—here’s a list:

Fought fear with time spent on the forum. I wake up in the morning and I open the forum. I read some posts. In the beginning, I would also search topics that interested me. I read and take to heart the answers people give in the posts. If I see something that’s helpful —a book or a podcast—I will look into it. If somebody gives me some advice— I will try it out.

Shifted from thinking to doing. I was doing a lot of cerebral TMS work— Reading, writing, talking about it. Two weeks ago I started exercising —doing something harder than I thought I could do. (I have been extremely weak for a year.) I ignored all that and I pushed through. That’s when the change came.

I started doing The Structured Educational Program on this forum. It requires brutal honesty and self reflection. Things started happening when I did this, too!

I increased my reading of Dr. Sarno books. I had kind of lost track of Sarno, pursuing other avenues. I think it was important for me to come back to the basics. I try to read some every day. My favorite now is The MindBody Prescription. It explains a lot of the logistics of nerves being deprived of oxygen. This was key for me because I have a lot of nerve-related symptoms.

I journal every day. I don’t miss a day now. I really need it. I don’t focus on anger or anything. I just write stuff down. Then I tear it up and throw it away.

I read the book, Feeling Good, Dr. David Burns, and I apply it daily. It describes how to do cognitive behavioral therapy for yourself. It takes a little bit of time to learn this, but it is absolutely pivotal in my newfound emotional well-being. I write down my thoughts and analyze them according to this book. Then I correct my thinking.

I listen to a little bit of Claire Weekes reading one of her books on healing anxiety every day. The reason I decided to do this every day is to keep myself focused on the fact that my nervous system is sensitized, causing a whole host of symptoms and mental problems. When I keep this in mind, I’m much more patient and I believe I can heal. It’s just a matter of getting the fear and the adrenaline to die down. And… knowing that it takes time. Adrenaline can cause symptoms—and she talks about that.

I did the DOC healing app, by Dr. Hanscom. It teaches how to forgive, get calm, and play. All of these left a big impression on me.

I write out “I love you, Diana,” on both sides of a piece of notebook paper daily. This sounds silly, but I discovered the idea purely by accident. I started doing it and it felt good. So I am still doing it, months later. I like to think it is improving my self love. (Self love heals TMS.)

PEP TALK— I’m one of those people that thought if I work harder than ever before I will definitely get better super fast. But— no. I worked super hard and nothing happened for a year. The only thing that kept me going were the stories that people told on the forum of how they got better. I believed them. And when I doubted—I would think of their stories. (A big help was @TG957 because she had similar symptoms and wrote a book about her journey called Defying the Verdict.)

I’m here to tell you— It will happen to you!!!! Just don’t give up.

(And I give this pep talk to myself also— because I still have a ways to go. But it will happen. I know it!)

“I was a drab little crab once.” —Moana, the movie

I used to sing that to myself to make myself laugh about my hands. (Better than crying.) Now, I can sing it because it’s true!

@TG957 also said once, that she gave her middle finger the finger. That also used to make me laugh and keep me going!

 

I'm so glad your getting your Mojo Back.
I read that too... I actually benefited from identifying with all of her frustrations.

Keep challenging your beliefs...you are not 'injured' or 'sick'. Your body can heal anything
peace

 

Really, really great to hear such positive news from you. I am really happy for you. You more then deserved this. It is really great that your patience and endurance finally works out so well. Thank you for all the great support here for us.

 

That’s amazing, Diana!

 

Amazing to hear Diana, I know I’m close too but still frustratingly slow sometimes. I can’t wait to have my hands back either.

 

Congratulations, Diana! Dystonia was the hardest to defeat for me. Took the longest, almost 2 years! You rock!!!!

I actually said that my middle fingers gave me the middle finger, but I like your version better!

 

Haha! I guess I remembered what I wanted to think! I didn’t expect this to come so soon. I am so thankful—but still have some other hard symptoms. You really do turn a corner, though, when you get a victory like this. It makes you feel you will get it all to go away.

 

Oh boy, do I sympathize with you! You never know, you might be closer than you think! I hope so!

 

I can relate to @TG957 excellent book. I bought it a few weeks ago.

@Diana-M so encouraging to read.

God bless you!

 

Think its a perfect time to display my progess too, CRPS with full body stiffness, massively affecting my hands, not been able to bend my fingers in 3 and a half years, only realised it was definitely TMS on Feb 1st 2024.

Ive been at it 14 months now and the difference is amazing, i could barely walk or stand for long periods, going down stairs hurt like hell, couldn't twist my neck that much, wrists completely stiff. Back pain, couldnt sit either due to stiffness in my butt, was just horrific.

Now - Its completely gone everywhere aside from my hands and the inside part of my ankle and foot (big toe side), i even ran a few weeks back. When im walking i only feel stiffness in my big toes. ,my hands are much looser than they were but still got time to go and like Diana above just waiting for that one day my muscles just release out of the blue but my wrists are fine too, i would say im roughly 90% healed. I have zero anxiety and stress in my life, the only downside was splitting up with the mother of my kids as they are young and my inability to do a lot due to the stiffness affected the relationship, however we get on well enough that it no longer gives me anxiety about what shes up to etc as despite everything she has been pretty good with me.

 

@Fal
That’s great news! I’m SO happy to hear about your progress! What a good success story for me to gain hope from. I’m still struggling to walk and stand. And going up and down stairs are a real bear. Unfortunately one of my hands tightened back up in retaliation of me doing more. I’m trying to ignore it. How did you get better at walking and standing?

 

By simply following Dan Buglios thought processs, dont fear anything just go and do it, i mean i have zero choice as i still have to work (thankfully been able to work at home 90% of the time). I have to do the school runs and look after the kids on my days so ive had no choice but to get up and move. When i dont have them it gives me chance to relax, but honestly im not concerned in the slightest as i know its going to eventually all go. My sleep is amazing 99% of the time too, out like a light and that never used to happen.

I always smile and visualise a positve and happy life too before i go sleep no matter what is going on in reality.

 

That's wonderful! Good for you and thanks for sharing.
(I like Dan Buglio).

 

One thing I want to add, is throughout these last 14 months I noticed several fasculations in my body. So I could be sitting their peacefully and I would feel and see a muscle having a minor twitch and spasm, in my mind I interpreted this as my brain telling my muscle to get back to work and he’s not in danger anymore. It’s happened all over and just as I type this I felt it in the heel of my left foot.

One thing that helped too is very recently I realised I was so dehydrated but was having enough to not notice. So I’ve started drinking 2 litres of water every day spread out, this drastically improved my energy, brain fog and joints and muscles just felt better. Before I would have two cups of tea, then maybe a Pepsi max during dinner, then top with a tad of water if I got thirsty.

 

@Fal , congratulations on your amazing success!

Your report is very consistent with my experience overcoming CRPS: sleep improvement, muscle twitching as a sign of further improvement, and direct correlation with the levels of anxiety and stress.

You may not know about it, but @miffybunny and I jointly maintain an informational website specifically for the CRPS patients, defeatcrps.com, as CRPS is such an extreme case of TMS that patients have a particularly difficult time believing it is TMS.

I would love to put your success story on our website because those success stories are a major factor in convincing people to try the TMS route. We both were interviewed by Dan Buglio, I am curious to know if you were aware of those?

 

Diana, this is not unusual. Your recovery cannot be linear. You should not ignore this, instead you should take an action: have a conversation with your brain that what you are doing is safe, or to journal about it, whatever you deem appropriate. Ignoring symptoms is not likely to help, but treating them with respect and self-compassion will!

 

Thank you so much! I’ll follow your advice! (I was so discouraged when this happened. But I also knew in my heart that it could possibly happen and it makes sense.)

 

Yes I watched it all and have visited the site, once I’m fully healed then I will do a success story or at least once I’ve got my hands back.