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Day 1 Beginning of my journey

M

mdirks

Newcomer
Today is Day 1 of my journey. I have been dealing with low back pain, tingly shoulders, pain and tingling in my right hip, unexplained GI issues, and now toe pain for the last several years. I've been to doctor after doctor, spent money and time with chiropractors, PTs, massage therapists, float tanks, crytotherapy...everything. All for nothing. I've blown my flex spending money within months each year and medical expenses have been my biggest expense for far too long. I'm 30 years old and I feel like someone far more aged. The last two years have been years of restriction. Restriction from weight lifting like I used to, restriction in cardio, restriction in social activities. Mostly from the constant fatigue I experience. I thought everything was tied to my diagnosis of leaky gut, hashimotos, scoliosis, etc. Yet, amazingly, I found a functional medicine doctor that care so much about me that she told me to forget those things, to not define myself by those diagnoses, and to read The Divided Mind. I read all 365 pages of that book on 3 days (bought it 5 days ago) and even have gone back to read parts of it again already. I was flabbergasted at how much that book spoke to me. I haven't started the journaling process yet but I know that I have a lot of pent up emotions. I recently broke up with my bf of 2 years bc I was starting to feel like I was locked up. Come to find out, it probably wasn't him that made me feel that way but was more of inability to deal with the guilt, resentment, and not feeling good enough parts of myself as I go through stressful job stuff. I can't wait to get this journey started and feel better!
 
This reminds me of myself in my 30s (now I'm 42) when I was dealing with chronic hip pain. I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on every kind of therapy out there, got MRIs and every kind of test, felt like I was 90 years old as I struggled to walk a block, when just the year before I had ridden my bike from Montreal to NYC, on a crappy five-speed bike through the mountains of Vermont without the slightest bit of pain (aside from seriously tired muscles!). Then I discovered The Mind-Body Prescription by Dr. Sarno and read it every day for three months. As soon as I got to the last page, I would start at page 1 again. It was mind-blowing. After three months I was pain-free and biking up a storm again. TMS has come and gone for me throughout my life, it seems...I am struggling with it again, this time in my feet. But the recovery program is working and I resuming normal activities again, if gradually. The key for me was to believe in my gut (not just in my mind) that there was nothing wrong with me and that I could get back to doing the things I loved and had missed for so long. I did it gradually, because you don't want to have a setback and get depressed and start worrying and doubting whether there is truly something wrong with you after all...so go gradually, but start doing those things you love, even just for one minute, and then two, and then three...to break the cycle and tell your brain that there is nothing wrong with you. You are young, healthy and strong.
 
mdirks said:
Today is Day 1 of my journey. I have been dealing with low back pain, tingly shoulders, pain and tingling in my right hip, unexplained GI issues, and now toe pain for the last several years. I've been to doctor after doctor, spent money and time with chiropractors, PTs, massage therapists, float tanks, crytotherapy...everything. All for nothing. I've blown my flex spending money within months each year and medical expenses have been my biggest expense for far too long. I'm 30 years old and I feel like someone far more aged. The last two years have been years of restriction. Restriction from weight lifting like I used to, restriction in cardio, restriction in social activities. Mostly from the constant fatigue I experience. I thought everything was tied to my diagnosis of leaky gut, hashimotos, scoliosis, etc. Yet, amazingly, I found a functional medicine doctor that care so much about me that she told me to forget those things, to not define myself by those diagnoses, and to read The Divided Mind. I read all 365 pages of that book on 3 days (bought it 5 days ago) and even have gone back to read parts of it again already. I was flabbergasted at how much that book spoke to me. I haven't started the journaling process yet but I know that I have a lot of pent up emotions. I recently broke up with my bf of 2 years bc I was starting to feel like I was locked up. Come to find out, it probably wasn't him that made me feel that way but was more of inability to deal with the guilt, resentment, and not feeling good enough parts of myself as I go through stressful job stuff. I can't wait to get this journey started and feel better!
Click to expand...
Welcome! Have had such a similar journey ...and this group provides such HOPE! Even if symptoms arise, I keep working through them instead of stopping any more. Fear is a powerful thing. Hope you are doing Alan's new structured program, it's further enlightened many of us who have been here a while.
Best wishes!!
 
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