Back/hip pain and OCD

[Jonny91]

Hello everyone, new to the forum today as i have just started reading the divided mind by Dr Sarno.

A very brief history of my story:

I'm 29, heavily into sports - football (soccer), crossfit, running and cycling. I can now do them all with much less pain than previously.

Aug 19 gradual increase in sciatica pain in my left buttock

Dec 19 MRI scan, herniated disc diagnosed, nerve block injection, did nothing to alleviate pain

Jan 20 listened to audiobook healing back pain on a flight to Milan. Whilst in Milan, i made the mistake of frantically searching my mind for what i was hiding in the subconscious. Obviously this cannot be done without journaling and i never found an answer.
I then broke down severely with emotion and had a really rough few months with anxiety, depression and OCD began. Prescribed 20mg a day Prozac (Fluoxetine) which i still take now but hope to ween off soon. Amazingly during this - no back pain whatsoever.

June 20 learning to cope with OCD symptoms, as they improved i began to get hip pain in my right hand side. Since then i have alternated between OCD intrusive thoughts (all sorts of themes) and hip pain. No back pain whatsoever anymore despite the 'herniated disc'.

Present day Symptons switch up between what i tend to fear the most. I'm getting better at teaching my brain that they are all ok. I journal regularly and even write about how safe the buried emotions are to try and teach my brain that new pathway. I'm yet to reach the treatment chapter in The Divided Mind but the educational chapters at the start of the book make so much sense.

My main issue with it all is how exactly do we access those deep buried emotions in our conscious if they are hidden in the unconscious?

I wish anyone reading this a good day, you're not alone.

Jonny

 

[TG957]

how exactly do we access those deep buried emotions in our conscious if they are hidden in the unconscious?

Jonny, about 4 years ago I was struggling with the same questions. I was never able to find the "smoking gun" hiding in my subconscious. But I was able to uncover my buried emotions and learn how to safely handle them. I was pretty much a cripple at the time. I am fully recovered now. I took no pills, had no steroid injections or surgeries. My solution was to treat every emotion, positive or negative, as a normal reaction of my body. Underneath, each emotion is in fact a release of certain hormones in the bloodstream. If you start noticing the feeling of emotion when you believe you should have one, you will eventually train yourself to let them run their course through your body. Negative emotions are very unpleasant, but they are part of the evolutionary process to enable survival of the species. Take them as they are, understand them, acknowledge them and figure out how to process them. Don't try to swat them away as they come. Give them another minute, two, live through them and they will run their course instead of being pushed into the darkness and generate physical pain. I am pretty certain that when you start getting off the meds, your emotions will come right away, and they may become overwhelming. Be careful, play it safe!

Just yesterday, I posted this link on the other thread, also about negative emotions. OCD is a manifestation of anxiety. When we are anxious, we tend to want to distract our minds with routines, because routines feel safe. Search for the emotion underneath your OCD, let it physically wash through your body, pick it apart and understand what to do with it. Good luck!

 

[Jonny91]

TG, thank you for the reply. I'm now 3 chapters through the divided mind and many of Sarno's work rings true for me. The internal pressure I put on myself, the perfectionist/good pressure, divorced parents at the age of 5.

My pain initially started when i began to compete in crossfit and when i was in the thick of accountancy exams - internal pressure again. I had no room for fun in my life all i did was focus on doing well in exams and pushing myself hard at crossfit.

When you say 'play it safe' and 'be careful' coming off the meds, do you mean ween off slowly? I feel like it is time to face the music of the emotions and as you say, let each and every one run its course through my body - no matter how uncomfortable they feel.

Do you do still do any psychological work now or do you feel in control of letting your emotions arrive and leave as they want?