Day 9 Angry because I can't feel anything

[how_to_feel_emotions]

I tried to journal about one topic, but every time I journal I find that within 5 minutes I feel like I have written down everything there is to say. I really try to feel how it was 15 years ago, but it is so hard because I do not remember it that well. So I just continue in some form of free writing.

I felt some sensations coming up but nothing major. Not until I was getting angry because, why can't I just feel anything... I tried to feel angry as best as I could since it is another emotion which wants to be expressed so I went with that. That helped, but still the frustration or helplessness remains.

At the end I was ranting about the state of the world and why I should live up to all these expectations, that made my symptoms worse and made me also a bit angry. Maybe there is more to that.

See you for day 10

 

[Baseball65]

why can't I just feel anything..

I wasn't angry at all when I just had a little relapse. In fact.. I have almost turned into a 'nice guy' (almost)

THAT is why we get the symptoms. We have conditioned ourselves and been conditioned by the world to NOT show any feelings so your brain makes a command decision to distract you. That means you have to think about your life as if you were somebody else looking at your life....What OUGHT that person to be feeling? How might those circumstances make him/her feel?

The longer I do this , it is more of a creative process than an investigative one.....20% investigation, 80% postulation

 

[Sita]

I wasn't angry at all when I just had a little relapse. In fact.. I have almost turned into a 'nice guy' (almost)

THAT is why we get the symptoms. We have conditioned ourselves and been conditioned by the world to NOT show any feelings so your brain makes a command decision to distract you. That means you have to think about your life as if you were somebody else looking at your life....What OUGHT that person to be feeling? How might those circumstances make him/her feel?

The longer I do this , it is more of a creative process than an investigative one.....20% investigation, 80% postulation

Question:

I started to feel, react and respond to people and circumstances more and more. Much more than before. But...people around me are freaking out, are surprised, I'm talking about friends and family. They ask me:"What happened to you, are you out of your mind, what's with this or that reaction?" My reactions are very normal, NOW they are correct and accurate. Not in the past.

It is a little weird all this situation. I don't really care about their reactions and ... I'm surprised about this new fact.

Is all this "normal"? Baseball65, this happened to you too?

 

[Baseball65]

Is all this "normal"? Baseball65, this happened to you too?

I think that a lot of people who have TMS have acted certain ways for a long time. The people around them expect them to keep acting that way... You are like a cube in their nice world and if you turned into a circle, they have to restack their OWN world.

That is also why people will not forgive things and people in their life... because it would mean having to rearrange their feelings about the exterior world, and frankly it just scares them. much easier to try and beat that person back into what they want you to be.

Whenever we want change, it has to come from within, BUT their is also a little pushback from other people who might have to rethink their world with that change. and Yes, I have had to experience a little of this.