Hello, I'm 9 days away from TMS and I've read Sarno's mindbody book. I also watch and read the related videos and texts. I always thought I had some functional things, posture problem, tendonitis, jaw ect ect while reading I realize that everything corresponds to 100% I am 300% convinced that my condition is related to TMS but I feel terribly sad, I no longer feel anxiety since 2010 and for ten days I have anxieties, nightmares, when I write I cry so much it is painful to think back to the trauma that I have experienced and especially the ten years that pain stole me. and in fact I'm sad to think that my condition is just related to repressed emotions I feel very guilty about it and it makes me very unhappy. if my body preferred to talk instead of my anxiety, I understand it perfectly because what I'm going through right now is difficult. this will probably be the most difficult time of my life, but I just have one question, is it normal to cry so much? or blame? Thank you all
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Anger, cry and blame
- Thread starter Varg
- Start date
JanAtheCPA
Beloved Grand Eagle
@Varg, I'm sorry that you are going through this. I'm trying to remember your other posts and our responses because I think we covered a lot in those posts. However, what strikes me is that there is no answer to your question, because "normal" is different for everyone. It's really your fearful brain that is asking the question, scaring you with the possibility that this is not normal, which of course is what your brain wants - to keep you in fear. It also means that you are minimizing (not valuing) your experience.
I can't tell by "blame" if you are blaming yourself (you said you are feeling very guilty, that your pain is "just" related to repressed emotions? Again, this is not valuing your emotions or your experience). Or are you are finally expressing your rage by blaming the individuals who caused you so much emotional pain? I realize we're depending on translation AI to communicate, so I might not be understanding who you are blaming.
In any case, I have a feeling that you are overthinking everything, instead of dealing with what is really causing your rage. It's too easy to blame ourselves for the surface appearance of our personal problems, instead of taking the emotional risk to really lay blame where it belongs. One you've really done that, then you have to learn to let go - but not until you've acknowledged your rage.
This recent article by Dr. Hanscom has some perspectives which might be helpful for people with severe trauma, anger, and victimhood. The title is about isolation, and in fact your sadness may come from isolation. There is nothing so isolating as becoming a victim of your circumstances, and as long as you are a victim, you will not recover.
The article also covers much more. Here is a brief excerpt:
from https://backincontrol.com/the-pain-of-social-isolation/ (The Pain of Social Isolation)
I can't tell by "blame" if you are blaming yourself (you said you are feeling very guilty, that your pain is "just" related to repressed emotions? Again, this is not valuing your emotions or your experience). Or are you are finally expressing your rage by blaming the individuals who caused you so much emotional pain? I realize we're depending on translation AI to communicate, so I might not be understanding who you are blaming.
In any case, I have a feeling that you are overthinking everything, instead of dealing with what is really causing your rage. It's too easy to blame ourselves for the surface appearance of our personal problems, instead of taking the emotional risk to really lay blame where it belongs. One you've really done that, then you have to learn to let go - but not until you've acknowledged your rage.
This recent article by Dr. Hanscom has some perspectives which might be helpful for people with severe trauma, anger, and victimhood. The title is about isolation, and in fact your sadness may come from isolation. There is nothing so isolating as becoming a victim of your circumstances, and as long as you are a victim, you will not recover.
The article also covers much more. Here is a brief excerpt:
"Forgiveness researchers ... have shown how rumination and anger influence central and autonomic nervous system function and impair functioning of the...(stress system). While forgiveness is seen as a coping mechanism that helps to relieve the stress of anger, it also has direct and indirect effects on health and nervous and endocrine function.
It has been my position that anxiety-induced anger is the driver of chronic pain. The manifestations of unrelenting anger are profound and one of them is becoming socially isolated."
It has been my position that anxiety-induced anger is the driver of chronic pain. The manifestations of unrelenting anger are profound and one of them is becoming socially isolated."
from https://backincontrol.com/the-pain-of-social-isolation/ (The Pain of Social Isolation)
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What angered me the most was that I only have one life and the chronic pain is tearing it in half. when I see happy people, with children, a lot of money, a big car, happy people. I am terribly jealous because I have the capacity for this but the pain is so powerful that it paralyzes me and instead of being happy, happy, I am just in uncontrollable hatred.