Lily Rose
Beloved Grand Eagle
There was a nobody girl who married into a successful, close-knit family, stealing the only son. Beside the matriarch, stood a tall gentle man who quietly loved that matriarch, but remained on the outside looking in. As did the nobody-girl. They forged a bond during the family gatherings, these two quiet people. The girl became his daughter-in-heart. They remained outside the boisterous sounds of the cluster of grandkids and rapidly talking trio of sisters. The matriarch was always quiet spoken, but the family always oriented around her.
Years later, the nobody-girl and the only son moved far away to Alaska, creating a gaping hole in the family unit.
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Thus sets the stage. Alaska teaches you to look into your soul. It rips you open, revealing vulnerabilities and strengths. While glittering in faint rainbow colors, it never lets you forget the Winter is always lurking. Even on the warmest days, the taste of glacial air whispers across the skin and tongue.
The day came when the ringing phone ended with an urgent voice saying the quiet man had suffered a massive heart attack. The voice did not realize my relationship and deep love. It doubled me over. My husband left for California. It was impossible for us both to leave, isolated with two dogs, and a need to keep certain company processes going.
Thank to the heroic efforts of my California girlfriend, packets of butterflies were delivered to the mourners at the cemetery. The San Francisco weather had broken from fog into sunlight, and those gatherers released the butterflies, their wings felt by my imagination and emotions.
The following year, I was able to travel south, and my girlfriend took me to the historic cemetery, where my quiet man lay beside his first wife. There was nothing there for me, just grass and a stone plate, meaning nothing.
It wasn't until we were leaving the grounds, and I cried out - stop! There she was, the most evocative expression of grief that I had ever seen. She was everything. All of my pain encapsulated into a single, simple image.
That Christmas, my girlfriend bought me the statue. I kept her near, always. I stared at her, I spoke with her, I projected myself into her form.
At some point, my imagination took me further as I was staring at her. The morning sun slanted low, and my eyes felt sparkles. What if .........?
What if ... she raised her head. What if ... her face lifted to the dawning?
I told my husband of the image, and he calmly said that if I find someone who can do it, commission a statue to be created in that vision.
A decade later, here I am, with crippled finances, and my grieving angel still waiting.
I teach/lead a group of women various aspects of music. While my own talent is limited, my teaching ability is limitless. I am the catalyst that brought them together, old friends, but learning new things about each other through this music language. Several of them are pottery students of a professional potter, who happens to be my neighbor.
Yesterday, I asked them about the concept of creating a statue of the angel lifting her head, and they were intrigued. They wish to make the attempt.
Timing is never coincidental. All things happen as they should, when we are ready.
I am ready. And so is she, this beautiful, tragic figure. There is beauty in grief, and there is beauty in joy. One cannot be known without the other.
We all have had, or will have, this moment ... we will have many of these moments. Moments when the sun spreads the rays through the clouds in thin, broad columns of color. Moments when our faces tilt upwards, realizing that the flame inside us is unquenched. Moments where breath flows easier, with less constriction. Moments when the eyes see beyond the visible, and into that uniquely personal place. Moments when we don't just envision the rainbow, but that we are the rainbow.
When I look upon this Angel, I don't just see her bowed head. I see her potential.
That is us. Looking into a mirror ... see beyond the surface. See that glorious soul that is our true self.
with grace and gratitude,
^_^
