Allowing

M

mikeinlondon

Well known member
Hi All,

Can someone explain to me what they think 'allowing' means to them i.e. to allow then engage (Helmut says the engage is important but I don't know what that means).

Cheers.
 
I know the concept from the DARE perspective, I would assume it's similar. Allowing is not pushing against the feelings, e.g. anxiety or pain, and letting them exist. In the concept of DARE, engaging is allowing the feelings to exist, actually fully embracing them, and then getting on about your day.

So if I start feeling anxiety, I say something along the lines of I see you, it's okay that you're there, I'm accepting you. Then I go back to what I was doing, and focus on the present.
 
Rusty Red said:
I know the concept from the DARE perspective, I would assume it's similar. Allowing is not pushing against the feelings, e.g. anxiety or pain, and letting them exist. In the concept of DARE, engaging is allowing the feelings to exist, actually fully embracing them, and then getting on about your day.

So if I start feeling anxiety, I say something along the lines of I see you, it's okay that you're there, I'm accepting you. Then I go back to what I was doing, and focus on the present.
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Thanks, that's how I understand it but was wondering if I missed something obvious as it seems too simplistic!
 
Hi, Mike! Rusty and you are right. Helmut says to say to your symptoms, “come on in.” Welcome them. And then proceed to take them along as you go about the business of living your daily life. (He also acknowledges that this isn’t easy.) As you do this, you are reprogramming your brain that your life is not dangerous. Your brain has misinterpreted that you are in danger. Engaging is doing things despite the fear/pain, or whatever.
 
mikeinlondon said:
Will watch, sound like a good video, thanks. Do you dance, Diana? Lets go for a virtual dance this eve. Helmut explains that allowing and dancing are the two key pillars for healing i.e. they send clear messages of safety to the brain.
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I used to love dancing a lot. But I have terrible balance right now, so all I can do at the moment is sit and “dance” in a chair. If it’s a pillar, let’s do it. :)
 
As a concept for me it's a way to slowly but steadily reconnect mind and body. Also a very good way to come back to the present.

As a practice, for example, today my symptom imperative went to the right shoulder and is driving me nuts. From time to time I stop and relax, feel the pain, start paying attention to how my breath makes the pain spread or shrunk. Then I pendulate to a safe-area (my face) and focus there. And back and forth for a while, also paying attention to my emotions, not trying to judge them.
 
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