Age And TMS

I used this forum 12 years ago when I was a young man of 65t o relieve severe, activity restricting back pain. I'm fine now at 77, doing yoga, riding my bike, lifting weights and generally being a good for nothing. However, many of my friends, some now moving into their 80's, are struggling with back, knee and hip pain. Many would seem to be TMS prone personalities. Since old people talk with annoying consistency about their health I hear their stories. I never know what to say. Is this bodily pain just the way of all flesh as we age or is it TMS? Frankly I don't know how to even broach the subject without offending people.
Any advice.

 

This is a wonderful inspiring story, because I’m 65 right now and I would surely love to be doing what you’re doing when I’m 77! Good for you! we sometimes talk on this form about aging and how many people have TMS and also how sad it is that you can’t tell them anything. I can’t remember the number, but I think Dr. Sarno said only 5% of the people would ever believe him. I would think your friends would be pretty impressed by your recovery. that’s probably the best advertising you could give.

 

You must be in a Great spiritual place to endure that w/o getting symptoms. The ONLY people I listen to gripes from is people wit TMS (Like on this forum).
Can't tell you how many times I have listened to griping and then succumbed to similar symptoms in short order..I must be particularly sensitive. I usually just say "Blah, blah, blah" in my head while they are counting coup or whatever it is they think they are doing.

"MOM...do you know ANYBODY who doesn't have a tumor? I am eating a Plum here in the back seat"
-Bill Hicks

 

I am in my mid-80s. No chronic pain for me during the last decade or so (I don’t actually remember the last time). This is despite my having had TMS of one kind or another for more than half a century before that. It all boils down to this: What you get is what you expect.

Sarno claimed in The Divided Mind at pp. 143-44 that some old people get TMS because of unconscious anger about their death being on the horizon, which he said “is more common than you would think.” I don’t buy that despite the fact that as I have been working this week on our complicated joint 2024 income tax return, I have been acutely aware that when I finish, I will need to write a memo for the file about how to handle certain things on the 2025 tax return in case I am not around to prepare it myself. I think Sarno overplays Freud’s theory of an unconscious, childish, selfish, narcissistic id when he (Sarno) says that anger about one’s mortality is more common than you would think.

 

lol! So true! All anyone wants to talk about is their latest illness or surgery and I have ended up avoiding a lot of people because of it.

I need to put this on my refrigerator!

 

Love this!

 

The thing about aging is all the changes occurring, mostly unwelcome and often an emergency. Yesterday I visited my friend in a retirement facility. When I left, I was overwhelmed with stress. I had to stop and acknowledge what was happening. I am almost 80 and fully aware of what the future holds. But it is scary. Aging and the lack of control is a huge trigger for tms. Accepting it is not easy. Allowing the grief helps but it is never easy.

 

Thanks for all your input. I shared Smokey's experience recently of visiting two friends in two different assisted living facilities. Just having my poor company seemed to give them a lot of pleasure since they're both isolated from their former community. As I expected, there is no neat answer to my question wrapped up in a box. As with most of the big issues, gently asking the question is, curiously, enough, the answer or maybe better the response, at least as long as you don't seek to force a resolution. We're all here for one another even if we can't make the lame walk.

 

I am grateful for this thread and everyone's comments. One of the things about TMS is the people who say, "You're old now. It's nothing but pain from here on in." I'm 57. I get the body ages and there will be issues, but I don't think everything should be dismissed as "you're old now," although it is a reality. Learning about TMS and hearing people's stories is eye-opening and inspiring. I had absolutely none of the pains by which I am currently challenged until I went through a few life changing highly stressful situations last January. It's good to read these posts.

 

Are than any 50+ athlete here dealing with TMS? I'm interested in hearing how they navigate staying physically active and athletic with TMS. HIIT exercises and weights have always been the main way I have addressed anxiety, but now that TMS is in the mix it has been trickier.

 

Meditation. I meditate daily, sometimes twice a day and one day a week longer, for an hour with a group of yogis. No talking, just meditation in silence for an hour.

I also gave up doing HIIT and more strenuous workouts since I had some hormonal changes. I'm 55 yo. I do more walking these days, Pilates and aerobic.

I never think of aging but I'm from a communist country. There are other things there in people's minds. Aging is on the bottom of the list. No offence, this is the truth.

 

@JanAtheCPA, thanks for your response. I just started the SEP program and am on Day 5. I have read The book The Way Out and I am reading Healing Back Pain