Day 1 A little anxious...

[Vintagelyns]

Hi all. I've decided to take the leap and start the sep and Alan Gordon programmes. I have read the sarnos book and in the middle of the great pain deception. Great reads btw and it all makes total sense.

I'm 37 and I can go back as far as the age of 4 with Ibs, triggered by nerves.
I lived with it for around 25 years and I still sometimes get it but not as frequent. I had my first child aged 20 and suffered with post natal depression for 4 years.
In my 30s I startes suffering from migraines and tension headaches. My mum was diagnosed a coeliac and with arthritis and I started getting arthritic pains in my fingers. (Its only now I see the link!) I suffered with anxiety for a while and was prescribed beta blockers which I took until I became pregnant aged 34. I came off the medication and throughout the pregnancy I suffered with bad hip pain. I was worried that after 14/15 years since my firstborn that I would not cope.
My daughter was born on Boxing Day 2013 and since then I have had everything going. Back pain, infections etc.
Last year one of my best friends died of ovarian cancer (August) and around the same time, neurologists started suggesting that my mum have tests for MND (she can hardly talk or move now) we all coped as well as we could but then in October. I had awful ovarian/menstrual pains and was booked in for scans & tests. My anxiety skyrocketed, my stomach ballooned, all came back clear.
December I got a sinus infection which lasted what seemed like forever and my neck pain started, looking back I have had the neck pain before but not to this extent. My chiro said it was awful posture and said I held my stress in my shoulders and neck, I started getting tingly/numb sensations in my mouth, my face and buzzing in my feet. It drove me to distraction and my neck pain got worse, going up and down in waves at times of pressure. I was prescribed beta blockers again after going into a&e with a suspected stroke. It was stress. I came off them after a couple of weeks as I was sensitive to them and felt depressed when taking them.
Through homeopathic remedies and starting yoga I calmed down a little and the extreme symptoms calmed down a little.
When driving down a motorway 3 weeks ago towards a gynae appt the neck pain came in waves again and carried on. And it proved it was emotional, I haven't had the 'waves' since. I have white coat syndrome that's for sure.
My neck is still painful. A day out with the family was ruined because of it the other day, it went into my head and it felt like it would explode.
To put the icing on the cake I had a wisdom tooth out and ended up with dry socket (I'm in my third week of healing now) ive had three lots of anti biotics and my mouth is hot, and now I'm concerned oral thrush/candida is back (ive had it before) but I'm very aware that 1) it's possible after destroying all my good bacteria with three lots of antibiotics but 2)I'm also aware that the more I focus on it the more likely it will happen.
I'm desperate to resume normal life, I have a 2 year old desperate for my attention.
I'm fed up with the eye floaters, neck pain, upper back pain, foot pain, buzzing, ear ache etc.
I'm ready to retrain my body.
Any advice is always gratefully received

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Vintagelyns. Welcome to this TMS healing community.

You definitely have been through the physical mill with pain and headaches. My advice is you have come to the right place to heal. This TMS web site and the SEProgram will help you to do that. It seems to me your symptoms are all from you being a very emotional person and probably worried that what your mother's concerns about cancer and one of your best friends dying of cancer. Try not to think that will happen to you. You've just begun the SE Program and are reading the right books.

Be patient and confident is my best advice. Read the success stories on this web site and post often with questions or reports about your progress.

Be sure to practice deep breathing and meditation and try to live in the present, not the past or future. You are not alone. We all help each other here.

 

[Stella]

You Wiil do just great. As Steven Ozanich says "Desperation Breeds an Open Mind". You are now willing to consider another option. You have come to the right place.

 

[Bodhigirl]

Yes, welcome! Sounds as if you have the gift of desperation which makes the ego willing to let go its defenses and learn a little something new.
I called it my Indianapolis 500 of Pain. Round and round my body: knee, back, hamstring, elbow, neck, migraine, belly, and back around again, over and over.
Once you get it into your brain that the pain is like a fire alarm hollering that there is a hidden emotion that is misfiring the brain... you can pause. Yes, pause and say "wait a minute, that magic trick won't work any more. there is no rabbit in the hat!"
Example. Got my hair cut today. A little water got in my left ear. By the time I got home I had an EARACHE. Really. Painful! I told my husband and he laughed. He's a physician, he gets my somatization, big-time. Then, I laughed and said "Oh! Anxiety? Ha! That's FUNNY."
The pain is half what it was and will wear off in the next hour.
Anxious why? New car with lots to learn. Old brain doesn't want to change. That's how I seem to be wired.
As you stick around you will hear each of us, sharing about cures, and relapses and rewiring ourselves to feel feelings instead of creating pain... as a distraction or defense against the emotion - which the ego really believes we cannot handle.
It's thankfully wrong, wrong, and wrong.
Glad you are here.
Try the full 30 day recovery program... or just stay in Day one for a while. I used Schubiner's workbook and audio cd. Still play the cd when I am shaky. It helps to reinforce the learning we do here.
All best wishes,
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