Day 1 A different perspective (NFSW)

Hi everyone,

I am a kind of "black sheep" in here, considering what brought me here. Indeed, I do not suffer of any chronic pain. But last July something strange happened. After a stressful work situation which made me feel "bad" (kind of exploited as cannon-fodder, and not being appreciatedfor my skills and my specializations), I felt a sense of closure in my lower body. From that moment on, that part of my body, and especially my butt, seems to be uncapable of fully release themselves. This led to sexual dysfunction (specifically, numbness in mu glans) and further complications (I had an injury to my psoas in September, that I am struggling with also because of my glutes nont being performative as they should).

Curious thing is that a few weeks before, after a night of alchol, cigarettes and weed, I woke up with a total disconnection from my genital area. I aske dmy doctor abotu it, she told me that mine one was anxiety, and prescribed me a simpel amminoacid (L-Arginine) after a few days, I was totally back to normal.

In both cases, I was dreading that this was a case of PSSD, or Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction, a syndrome that seems to totally nullify for a long time, even for ever, the sexuality of people after they stop taking SSRIs. I had tried to take SSRIs two times before, under suggestion of my medic, quitting after almost a week because feeling that this was not "the right thing" for my problems. I tried once more around one month before the two episodes mentioned above for something like 5 days and smaller doses (like 1/4 to 1/2 pills), before quitting again.

I am now convinced that mine one was not a real manifestation of the syndrome, but an axious response, at least in the first episode. In the second one, instead, I think my body reaction was due to the bad emotions I was living in that specific moment. I am now in a definitely better general situation and definitely feeling less stressed, but this block in my butt still persist. And I have the feeling that the TMS approach may help. I am not 100% sure that this will be the right path, but why shouldn't I try?

And here we come to the Day 1 question: What would a life without TMS mean to you?

In a few and honest words, a life without TMS will mean being capable of fully living again. Enjoy the joy of sex and relationship, forgetting this "being broken" period and throwing myself with all of my energies in building my future. I have never been too much of a spor person, but now I am realizing the importance of taking care of my body, and I want to delve into it.

Right now I feel kind of stuck because of my problems, and they are my absolute number one issue to solve. After that, a new, beautiful chapter of my life is waiting for me.



Glad to join you all!

 

@Butters95 Welcome! You have some great positivity that will really help you!