A creepy experience

[James59]

Yesterday morning I had a creepy experience.

For the past few months my sleeping patterns have changed a bit. This started a few weeks before I learned about TMS (which was early June). I've been sleeping fairly well for about 6 hours each night, but after that it's hit and miss. Most days now I sleep very erratically after 6 hours, and sometimes 6 hours is all I get.

Yesterday morning at the 6 hour mark, I was having trouble getting comfortable in bed. I was stiff all over, and my right arm hurt. I decided to "talk to my brain." I don't remember exactly what I said, but it went something like this: "I know what you're doing. You're trying to distract me from repressed emotions. Don't worry, I can process my emotions better than you think I can."

Then, as if to prove me wrong, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of fear, panic, and a sense that I would become a raging maniac if my repressed emotions came out. My eyes were closed, but I saw a dark grey surface covered with horrific looking black streaks. It is hard to describe it any better than that. My first instinct was to stuff it all back down (I just wanted to sleep!), and it all receded after a short time. But it left a strong message on my conscious mind "Don't go there."

Now I'm unsure how to proceed. Should I let this stuff surface, or what?

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, James. Your post was very interesting, and I've been there.

If we think about our repressed emotions while we try to get to sleep, we'll be awake all night.
I think it's just about the worst thing you can do. Don't even try to think about them several hours
before you go to bed. Watch a funny movie or one that isn't violent, or anything to relax and get sleepy.
Read a book. Listen to sot music. Meditate.

Journaling is great and helps discover our repressed emotions, but don't do it before bedtime because
it will keep your mind on problems.

Here are some of my techniques for falling asleep and staying asleep:

Do some deep breathing... inhale slowly through the nose, hold the breath a few seconds, then breathe out through
the mouth. Pretend you're breathing out all anxieties, worries, etc.

While deep breathing, imagine yourself to be on a peaceful sunny beach and imagine sights and sounds there,
like waves lapping against rocks or a beach, and a breeze blowing in nearby trees. I imagine myself on
wilderness canoe trips I took in Minnesota and Canada years go.

Also try counting backwards from 100 to 1. A psychologist recommended it and it works.
It may take a few laps from 100 to 1 but by the end of the second lap I'm usually asleep.

I also like to silently say a soothing mantra while deep breathing. My favorite is repeating:
"Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better." You convince your unconscious mind
and it relaxes and gives confidence.

Don't drink anything alcoholic for a few hours before bedtime. Hot milk helps me.

Don't fear you will have anxiety or a panic attack if you think about your repressed emotions.
Thinking about them will help you to be rid of pain and so you can sleep longer and better.
Bringing our repressed emotions to the surface, and then to our unconscious mind, helps heal us.

Just don't spend more than a half hour or an hour thinking about them anytime during the day,
but never at night. Save night hours before bedtime for relaxing thoughts.

Good luck and keep us posted on how you're doing.

 

[North Star]

Whoa! That would freak me out too, James. I'm reminded of one of the Freud quotes Dr. Sarno uses..."Dreams are the royal road into the unconscious."(Or something to that effect.) I know one thing I'm learning if I have a gut reaction to "don't go there"...that's become my battle cry to GO THERE! With haste!

I keep a notebook and pen on my nightstand so I can write down dreams because I believe they can be very telling.

If this stuff is too freaky for you, perhaps consulting a TMS therapist would be helpful? Just my thoughts....

 

[James59]

Walt, I don't have any trouble falling asleep at night. But I wake up prematurely feeling so stiff and uncomfortable that I can't go back to sleep. Often this is accompanied by feelings of constipation. But that's not my main concern in posting this thread. It's the creepy feeling I want to address here.

MontanaMom, just to clarify, this was no dream. I was wide awake.

 

[North Star]

Sounds like it could have been a waking nightmare, James. (Of course, I am just offering my arm chair opinion based on my own experiences.) I used to wake up in the middle of the night shaking, heart pounding...panic attacks. They scared the daylights out of me.
When it was really bad, I kept a few comforting Psalms or poems on my nightstand....I would turn the light on and then just speak them to myself. It is not fun but I know you'll get through this.
I found it's very important to me even now that I don't read anything tense novels or anything upsetting before bed time. They will show up in my dreams later; I've always been pretty sensitive this way.

 

[James59]

I don't know what a "waking nightmare" is, but I was definitely wide awake. I had gotten up to use the bathroom, and couldn't get comfortable when I got back in bed. What followed was as I described in my original post.

I usually take time to read some metaphysical books before bed. If I watch an episode of Doctor Who sometime during the evening I'll often have Doctor Who themed dreams!

 

[North Star]

Waking nightmare is one that takes place between waking and sleep. (If I'm remembering the term properly.) What a strange experience you've had!

Maybe you should ask Dr. Who to fire up the TARDIS and take you on adventure? Just funning....we're big Dr. Who fans in my house!

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

James I really do know what you are talking about, I cant explain it other than its scary.
so listen brother, what's happening is I really believe your getting close to getting better.
I mean like all the way better, how has your pain levels been?

And the dream or wide awake shadow or monster.
Let that thought go if its a worry thought and I know it is.
it'll serve you no purpose to study that dark shape ok.

It is the rage coming to consciousness some, don't fear it- it cant harm you.
its tms's last shot to get you to say ok im not going any further.
Then theirs the other side of the tms coin in which it wants you to show courage.
This courage as Claire Weekes explains will make that shadow leave.
These fears wont stay when we stand up to them ok.

Your about to heal all the way as I said above, congratulations.

PS - The anxiety isn't trying to prove you wrong its just coming to consciousness so remember this will happen for a week or two maybe even three-
Although its not something that will harm you but you have to be the one to not fear it ok,
all you have to know that I know of so you can do it 100% safe without more fear is that you don't panic cause you have thought about it and thought about it ok .
This is where Claire Weekes Audios Especially numbers 3 and 4 come into play although listen to them all over and over ok.
Part 1

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover1.mp3

Part 2

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover2.mp3

Part 3

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover3.mp3

Part 4

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover4.mp3

Your nervous system is getting sensitive and when you know how to face, float, accept and use time as she explains you will be fine .
God bless

Find my blog at http://go.tmswiki.org/ericwatson

 

[James59]

Eric, once again your comments hit home for me. I hope you're right that this indicates progress. And thanks for the audio links. I wasn't familiar with her work. I listened to the first one last night. Great stuff!

 

[Gigi]

James I really do know what you are talking about, I cant explain it other than its scary.
so listen brother, what's happening is I really believe your getting close to getting better.
I mean like all the way better, how has your pain levels been?

And the dream or wide awake shadow or monster.
Let that thought go if its a worry thought and I know it is.
it'll serve you no purpose to study that dark shape ok.

It is the rage coming to consciousness some, don't fear it- it cant harm you.
its tms's last shot to get you to say ok im not going any further.
Then theirs the other side of the tms coin in which it wants you to show courage.
This courage as Claire Weekes explains will make that shadow leave.
These fears wont stay when we stand up to them ok.

Your about to heal all the way as I said above, congratulations.

PS - The anxiety isn't trying to prove you wrong its just coming to consciousness so remember this will happen for a week or two maybe even three-
Although its not something that will harm you but you have to be the one to not fear it

Thanks so much for the links! I listened to the first two just now. I've read Claire Weekes' book, but needed the reminder that we learn more during our setbacks than in the good times.
I've been struggling with an incipient migraine these last 2 days, and I'm trying to overcome the fear by challenging my subC to "bring it, and do it's worst!"

 

[Gigi]

Hi, James. Your post was very interesting, and I've been there.

If we think about our repressed emotions while we try to get to sleep, we'll be awake all night.
I think it's just about the worst thing you can do. Don't even try to think about them several hours
before you go to bed. Watch a funny movie or one that isn't violent, or anything to relax and get sleepy.
Read a book. Listen to sot music. Meditate.

Journaling is great and helps discover our repressed emotions, but don't do it before bedtime because
it will keep your mind on problems.

Here are some of my techniques for falling asleep and staying asleep:

Do some deep breathing... inhale slowly through the nose, hold the breath a few seconds, then breathe out through
the mouth. Pretend you're breathing out all anxieties, worries, etc.

While deep breathing, imagine yourself to be on a peaceful sunny beach and imagine sights and sounds there,
like waves lapping against rocks or a beach, and a breeze blowing in nearby trees. I imagine myself on
wilderness canoe trips I took in Minnesota and Canada years go.

Also try counting backwards from 100 to 1. A psychologist recommended it and it works.
It may take a few laps from 100 to 1 but by the end of the second lap I'm usually asleep.

I also like to silently say a soothing mantra while deep breathing. My favorite is repeating:
"Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better." You convince your unconscious mind
and it relaxes and gives confidence.

Thanks for the tips, Walt. I frequently have trouble with insomnia, and for me, the hardest part is FALLING asleep. I don't like to take any sleep aides unless I go several nights without rest, so often I just get up and read for an hour or two and then try again. I've tried many things over the years.

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

Eric, once again your comments hit home for me. I hope you're right that this indicates progress. And thanks for the audio links. I wasn't familiar with her work. I listened to the first one last night. Great stuff!

Yes james59 , Claire is an awesome help on our rd. to recovery.
Thanks for your humbleness. I want to let you know more of what im talking about so
you can get a better understanding of the process.
Alan Gordon calls it an extinction burst.
http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Breaking_the_Pain_Cycle,_by_Alan_Gordon,_LCSW

Right before I healed up I had this burst of anxiety -
now you'd think after 20 years of anxiety and anxiety attacks that id have a hold on this phenomena
I wondered if it would be less uncomfortable for the pain to be a full tilt 10 again.
I looked at my wife and said I don't know what's happening,
What I meant was the anxiety was very high.
, take heart.
Cause it didn't take long for this anxiety to leave, like 2-3 weeks tops.
And remember not to put any time limits on anything.
Just let time have her perfect work.

PS. Here's a great thread talking about extinction burst
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/distinguishing-successes-from-failures.442/

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

Thanks so much for the links! I listened to the first two just now. I've read Claire Weekes' book, but needed the reminder that we learn more during our setbacks than in the good times.
I've been struggling with an incipient migraine these last 2 days, and I'm trying to overcome the fear by challenging my subC to "bring it, and do it's worst!"

Gigi sorry about the headaches, I know you know how to handle things
so please keep us up-dated on how your doing ok
Its a blessing to see you this Sunday morning
Bless you