A case study regarding conditioned responses

Just posting this because i found it interesting.

I’ve dealt with TMJ on and off for 10 years, although all my early bouts were, while being acutely painful, short lasting and not interfering with my life much. However once my TMS really took control and I understood what was happening, symptom imperative came into play. Back in February I woke up with severe TMJ and it was both painful and long lasting, I was unable to speak without mumbling/slurring and being in significant pain for 2ish months. Nevertheless I worked on the fear and my reaction to the sensations, and things improved, I still deal with mild symptoms but I can speak normally again. However anytime I go to work (crappy remote call centre type job) my symptoms flare, tension in face, muscle spasms. But the second my shift ends and I put my headset down my symptoms subside. Note I LOATHE this job. I’ve worked on just speaking while wearing my headset while off shift just as a sort of desensitization experiment which temporarily helps, but sure enough once those calls roll in, the symptoms start.

while being bothersome, these symptoms aren’t too concerning anymore. I just thought was an interesting concept, and the more I’m on this journey the more I’ve become a believer of this being more than just an overactive nervous system. I think my inner self is resisting me working this job, and resisting what it does to my spirit. Sorry, inner self, right now we need the money, lol, but I’ve begun the process of looking for other work. For literal decades I’ve ignored what my body and mind were telling me, it’s a work in progress to be able to attune and listen and actually implement the inner wisdom that is shared with me!

 

I definitely believe it plays a part. I have a friend with Runner's Dystonia who walks just fine for 5 miles. Then she goes into her very stressful job and has difficulty walking just around the office.

I have started to question my assumptions of when my dystonia symptoms flare. Aka, it is supposed to be hard for me to run on hard surfaces (pavement) and run downhill. So I always tense up when I do pavement runs or when a downhill comes. But is it REALLY hard or is it just be having been lead to believe it is hard? Is it really the tension of anticipating it will be worse on my dystonia causes more symptoms, versus the actual running terrain itself.

 

I’ve had this happen to me multiple times, then when I left the job, the symptoms went away. I’ve always wondered if my body was saying “no!” for me, because I wasn’t.

 

This is about that job...give me a minute here.

Jerry Mander wrote '4 reasons for the elimination of Television'. They studied the effects of TV on peoples brains..they named conscious thinking as ALPHA and receptive Thinking as BETA. If you PET scan a Brain you can actually see different area's rise and fall.

You reading a Book to learn something you want to know? ALPHA. You trying to solve a math problem, ALPHA...You watching TV ? BETA, seeing a Play, Beta, Reading a Book you already read before? BeTA.

This isn't a question about quality. There are many positive outcomes of BETA. I like reading Harry Potter, Watership Down, Don Camillo and Steinbeck over and over even though I know the outcome of every story....it's my Heroin..it's how I relax. I just bought a new Book on Stone chemistry. I can't read it to relax, because it will occupy every ounce of knowledge I possess to understand the text.... to focus....Same thing with Sarno. HBP and MBP are technical manuals on how to recover.

I only have that much attention in the AM hours...and If I have to go to work? They all drain away.

Even though I am certain you need to think to do your Job, I am sure there are parameters that necessitate you spending a LOT of time with head noise buzzing around that you can't swat, because you need to focus on speaking...probably about something you really don't give a flying fuck about. You are selling your employer your ALPHA brain waves. You have to shut down Moses and the 5 year old and play adult.

Those are the exact Brain waves I need to fend off TMS. I cannot talk and fight off symptoms. I cannot listen to a podcast and fight off symptoms. I have a hard time with the 'form' of being a responsible adult. I can fend off TMS pretty well when I am painting but if I am doing a difficult carpentry thing? Nope...it's taking too much Alpha from me. I feel way more tired at the end of the day

That is Alpha thinking...you are on the right track. But When you are talking to you? You might want to TELL the 5 year old and Moses to STFU while you are working. If they act up? Stop working, go to the bathroom and have a reminder/talk/chat with THEM. The best way I can say it is , pretend they are an annoying sibling who you had to bring to work....if you don't discipline them, they will keep bothering you

It's a lot like the STOP therapy for OCD...It is not 'giving into the symptom' but rather treating it like it is....an annoying distraction.
If It was a person, I'd say "You want my Fing attention? OK...lets talk about My Childhood bullying, My truck blowing up, my dog dying"

every time you show IT that you know what IT is trying to do, you are sapping it's power to hold your attention

 

I had this happen with pudendal neuralgia, sure enough once I put in my notice the symptoms went away.

 

This is good advice Baseball thank you. This job is quite the distraction and the energy sink. I never really put 2 and 2 together whilst working that I totally drop off from the TMS ‘work’ while working this job. My thoughts become more centered around hating this job and hating that is causing symptoms rather than addressing them in any meaningful way that may lead to long term success. I’ll have to be a bit more disciplined and try and stay more in ‘aware’ mode. I tell my self these crappy moments are where change is to be had, welp work is one of those crappy moments! I need to practice what I preach.