Day 3 3 things cause TMS

[Diana-M]

Ok, this is a revelation! TMS is driven by:

1/3 childhood
1/3 current stressors
1/3 our personality

I didn’t realize this, or I had forgotten it. I have been so focused on childhood issues and the rage they cause, I thought if I unlocked this I would find the magic key.

Now, with this new info, I’m going to add more effort into the personality issues (perfectionism, negativity, victimization, people pleasing, self criticism, fear, always driving myself SO hard. Nothing is ever enough. Insecurity and low self esteem)—Sheesh! A lot to work on there!

Therapy is helping with stressors, too. Although I’ve always wondered, what can you do about the things you cannot change? Say, aging. Or income. Or a loved one’s problems?

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I’ve always wondered, what can you do about the things you cannot change? Say, aging. Or income. Or a loved one’s problems?

You express your rage. This is what writing exercises are for, to express the unfiltered rage that you have about how these things affect your quality of life, how they make you really feel, never mind how you think you're supposed to feel. This is why we destroy the written exercises, so we can have the freedom to write the unvarnished truth.

The practice of Existential Psychotherapy says that there are four core issues from which you can explore your stressors, especially current ones. They are great topics for expressive writing:
Abandonment/Isolation
Freedom
Meaning
Mortality

Not all four will be relevant to every situation. Financial insecurity, for example, certainly invokes issues of Freedom, perhaps also of Isolation. The death of a loved one will trigger Abandonment and Mortality for sure, and quite possibly Meaning. Whereas being the caretaker for a loved one is likely to trigger all four.

And the big one for so many of us, aging, also embraces all four core issues. So you write about your emotions regarding aging from the point of view of each topic.

 

[Diana-M]

Wow! @JanAtheCPA, I love this!!! I’ve been looking for this. It really answers my question! Thank you! I’m on it!

 

[marck]

You express your rage. This is what writing exercises are for, to express the unfiltered rage that you have about how these things affect your quality of life, how they make you really feel, never mind how you think you're supposed to feel. This is why we destroy the written exercises, so we can have the freedom to write the unvarnished truth.

The practice of Existential Psychotherapy says that there are four core issues from which you can explore your stressors, especially current ones. They are great topics for expressive writing:
Abandonment/Isolation
Freedom
Meaning
Mortality

Not all four will be relevant to every situation. Financial insecurity, for example, certainly invokes issues of Freedom, perhaps also of Isolation. The death of a loved one will trigger Abandonment and Mortality for sure, and quite possibly Meaning. Whereas being the caretaker for a loved one is likely to trigger all four.

And the big one for so many of us, aging, also embraces all four core issues. So you write about your emotions regarding aging from the point of view of each topic.

This is really good. A new perspective from which to write. Thanks

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

1/3 childhood
1/3 current stressors
1/3 our personality

This might be obvious to others, but just in case it's not, I see the above as not "equal parts" in each category but that they're simply 1 of 3, 2 of 3, 3 of 3.

So for example, for me, my TMS might be 90% my personality but some aspects of the other 2 play a part also.

 

[Mr Hip Guy]

Abandonment/Isolation
Freedom
Meaning
Mortality

I like this quite a lot. My personality type likes structure and organization, so any time I can finad a way to take such an unstructured process as "journaling" and put it in some kind of order, it tickles that part of my brain. Also, this gives me some additional avenues to explore.