2016: Could not pick up socks 2017: Competed in my first powerlifting competition

[JanAtheCPA]

I'm a big fan of Eddy's podcast

 

[Iwilldeadlift]

Hey there

This post inspires me so much and give me such hope that i started lifting heavy again! I can now DL 70kg and squat 100kg and bench 55kg. I m not scared of the exercises anymore!

Pain is now moving throughout my body, i try screaming at it and it definitely helps. Journaling seems to make things worse for me

I tell myself, Its just tms my body is perfect and very strong. I was wondering what you were telling yourself

Also what did you do with your rage? I just want to be happy, rage is boring to be in...

 

[Ania]

Stretching-[...] Stretching was one of the first rabbit holes i jumped down. I assumed my lack of flexibility and mobility was caused by not stretching, so i scoured youtube and fitness blogs for stretching routines and began to stretch an hour a day before weight training for close to a year!! It was a marginal help at best, and looking back it was not necessary.

My take on it is now this- my lack of flexibility and mobility was not caused by "tight muscles" per se, it was a result of being weak and afraid to move my body. So my suggestion would be to focus on getting strong , and stretch when and if you feel like it. [...] Do what feels good and gets your mind and body primed to train. I like foam rolling for 5-10 minutes, you're able to cover a large surface area quick and efficiently, follow it up with some stretches that feel good to you and you enjoy- there are no rules here. Stretching can almost become a superstition, especially to those of us who have TMS and tend to overanalyze everything.

@ThanksToSarno - I just came across your story - thank you for sharing this and thank you for your advice above regarding stretching - it spoke to me so greatly.
My back pain story began two years ago and went as for all of us: doctors, treatments... and no good results... just progressing disability.
4 months ago I've learned about TMS, read dr. Sarno books and made great improvement since that time - same as you I've gradually came back to sport (running in my case), and to all other activities that I gave up trying to protect my spine. But I am still struggling with lack of flexibility, muscle tightness. Two years ago (before this began) I could easily bend and touch my toes. Now, sometimes I can hardly reach my knees. I tried to stretch but at the moment it is impossible... Thanks for your advice above - Now I know that I just need to give myself more time and wait for more strength and more confidence coming.

Ania

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Also what did you do with your rage? I just want to be happy, rage is boring to be in...

I think it depends on how you're defining rage. Some people think this refers to anger at the people in their lives, and there are some people who live with a lot of current anger - and that's no way to live.

Anger is actually a shallow manifestation of deeper emotions that go back to childhood experiences. Every child experiences times of being let down, unprotected, not nurtured or not loved, even in the most functional families - its part of our psyches. It's expectations that were never met, leading to expectations that can never be met in adulthood, and that small child that is still part of our unconscious psyche still has rage about that. This of course is multiplied in a dysfunctional family, and even worse when there is trauma or outright abuse.

Another source of rage might manifest as anger and defiance over control or authority issues, as a result of an over-controlled childhood.

Once you've identified the source of the real rage, as opposed to the adult manifestation of it, many people have found that going back to the way the little child experienced those emotions is really valuable in breaking through the old patterns. For me, it was discovering and re-experiencing isolation that I felt at about 4 or 5 years old.

The next step is you acknowledge and accept the early experiences, and find a way to move past them with understanding and forgiveness - sometimes towards others, but always towards yourself.

 

[ThanksToSarno]

@ThanksToSarno - I just came across your story - thank you for sharing this and thank you for your advice above regarding stretching - it spoke to me so greatly.
My back pain story began two years ago and went as for all of us: doctors, treatments... and no good results... just progressing disability.
4 months ago I've learned about TMS, read dr. Sarno books and made great improvement since that time - same as you I've gradually came back to sport (running in my case), and to all other activities that I gave up trying to protect my spine. But I am still struggling with lack of flexibility, muscle tightness. Two years ago (before this began) I could easily bend and touch my toes. Now, sometimes I can hardly reach my knees. I tried to stretch but at the moment it is impossible... Thanks for your advice above - Now I know that I just need to give myself more time and wait for more strength and more confidence coming.

Ania

Hi Ania,

So glad my post was able to give you some insight, and it sounds to me like your on the right path!

Just be kind and gentle with yourself, even on the days where your flexibility seems lacking. Enjoy your stretching,and don't judge how far your going. Just be in the moment, breath and feel your body. It will gradually get better over time, and in the meantime i do not believe your flexibility should be a limiting factor in your health or happiness.

 

[ThanksToSarno]

I think the beauty in Sarno's book was he gave just enough details to succeed, but left some parts ambiguous so that you can write your own story.


Reading some of the post's above about "relapsing" made me think about perhaps the most pivotal moment in my TMS journey:


The Big Test

I'll never forget this day. It was Summer 2017 and I was about a year and a half into my TMS journey and had been powerlifting for about 2 months. I could now do the main exercises relatively pain free(squats and deadlifts) but i was still relatively weak. My coach made me take my biggest jump in weight on deadlifts i had ever taken- from 135lbs to 185lbs and he wanted 5 reps. I was quite nervous, but i did exactly as he asked.


The first 2 reps went up fine, but on the 3rd rep I felt it- you all know what I'm talking about- that mind freezing, stomach dropping, "OH NO!" pain in the lower back. I finished the set, but as soon as I did i immediately felt as if something was very wrong- a pain in the CENTER of my lower back, deep and in the root of the spine, the REALEST and most frightening of all back pain. My brain wanted to seize up in fear- a habit learned from years of back pain. There was one big difference this time, however- I had Dr John Sarnos words ingrained into my brain.


I did my best to relax, but my mind kept serving up horror stories, so i kicked my auto suggestion into over drive "My back is healthy, strong and rugged" or something to this effect. I repeated it over and over until the fear slightly subsided. I finished my workout the best i could. My coach asked if something was wrong, "hamstring" I replied.


That night I took a walk to calm down and reflect upon what happened. I vividly remember thinking to myself "If i can get over this, and the pain I'm feeling now is benign, I'll knowfor sure Sarnos words are true and there is no turning back". The next few days i was sore and still feeling pain, but it was slightly better than previous attacks. I even got some muscle tissue work done to help relax.


I was able to lift weights lightly in about 2-3 days. I was mindful not to judge my workout or my strength - but just to be thankful to use my body. In about a week or two I was back to full speed, and within a month I was setting new personal records. My inner most sabotager took his best shot and missed. That was about 2.5 years ago and I haven't looked back since

So be on the lookout for your next relapse, it may be your Big Test in disguise

 

[Iwilldeadlift]

Thanks man for the story. Did you do any journaling along the way? And if so what sort ? How did you approach journaling ?

i m at a stage where i can do all the compounds movements, even the DL but i still have some tms...