2 Weeks in... Battle with the skeptic within

[mac]

Just thought I'd drop a note to with an update on how I am doing.
Discovered TMS 4 weeks ago - now 2 weeks into the structured program.
Pain on and off for 10 years but bad for the last 3 after an "injury".
Convinced I have it.

I'm still finding it hard to convince myself it is 100% emotional as opposed to say 70/30 emotional/physical or something like that. I guess that is my biggest challenge right?
So do I definitely have to convince myself it is 100% not physical?

I have definitely noticed some improvements. I have been in a new computer job for the past 4 weeks after moving hemispheres and taking some extended time off.
The first 2 weeks were agony the last 2 not so bad. Although I have been on pain meds.

My AHA moment:
I just worked a solid day at work yesterday and was not feeling to bad at all, especially for a Monday.
I had a short phone call with the girl I am seeing (unstable relationship recently back together) about whether she should come to a wedding I am going to and about booking flights.
Bang, neck pain right after the phone call, and it wasn't from using the phone as I was lying down.
Realized I had it last time I spoke with her too...

Interesting...

 

[Forest]

Hey Mac and Welcome to the Peer Network,

It sounds like you are beginning to understand how TMS can be triggered. This is an important step to take as it will help you gain confidence in the approach. You do need to fully accept the diagnosis to recover. If you don't, you will continue to think physically and focus on your symptoms. This will only keep you in pain and may even lead you to develop more symptoms. What does 70% believe in TMS mean to you? Is there anything holding you back? An important part of recovering involves gaining introspection and understanding the role our emotions play in our symptoms.

 

[mac]

I guess I have spent so much of my recent life on the physical, working on my "muscle imbalances or weaknesses" it is hard to get out of the mindset. Currently seeing a physio doesn't help I guess, I will stop for a bit. In the past I had always found physical activity to make me feel better but in the last few years that changed.
By my 70/30 I meant that could it be that 30% is caused by poor posture or muscle weakness in certain muscles and 70% is caused by TMS.
I have 100% belief in TMS now just not that it is the cause for 100% of the pain symptoms right yet.
I hope that makes sense.
I'm trying to work my way to 100%, i guess this is necessary as otherwise I will always be thinking the pain could be caused by the 30% (physical)

 

[Steve Ozanich]

Maybe I can help Mac. 70/30 is a pretty good ratio to start off with so you're well ahead of most people at this stage. Most are about 30/70.

You don 't need 100% belief at first, no one fully believes it at first. Doubt is part of the TMS process; the original pain, healing, etc. Some may say they believe TMS 100%, but I guarantee they have some doubt in their minds--so don't worry, you're normal. We are humans who doubt. But you eventually need to get to full belief to heal. There will be a point where you don't think you have TMS, but you "know" you have TMS, and the pain will be gone.

But you have to stop thinking there is a physical problem there. Dr. Sarno often referred to this as "acceptance of the diagnosis." You've already had a major breakthrough by seeing how a conversation with your girl caused a neck pain. TMS is often symbolic in its nature (chapter 12).

First, it's important to get medical clearance, or at least a general medical exam for good health.

Second, identify if you have the the Type T personality. I've read a few people say it is a Type A personality but that's not true and reveals only a cursory understanding of TMS. It's quite the opposite. The Type A is different in nature and leads to different types of health problems, mainly heart problems. The Type T does not express himself like the Type A. Dr. Sarno clearly said these people are not Type A, but that they think they are Type A. Keep in mind that Type A, or any "type" can have pain too, but the A-personality does not lend itself as readily to pain syndromes.

Third, is to begin conscious breathing, daily, along with relaxation techniques. This entire time you should be thinking about how your pain is caused by an emotion that you can't feel, and how your body is reacting to these emotions that you can't feel, in order to cope with daily life, or a traumatic event. This is thinking psychologically, and it includes seeing your pain as "non-structural."

There are many things in between to understand if you're struggling, but these are basics in beginning. Clear yourself healthwise to begin, identify your personality, and begin conscious breathing, relaxation, and thinking psychologically. Next will be becoming more aggressive physically--with no fear.

The rest may fall right into place if you don't fight healing.

Good luck

Steve

 

[Forest]

these are basics in beginning. Clear yourself healthwise to begin, identify your personality, and begin conscious breathing, relaxation, and thinking psychologically. Next will be becoming more aggressive physically--with no fear.

This is a great place to start from, and a great point by Steve. Once you are checked out by a physician and think psychologically you will begin to place yourself in the situation to become active without being afraid you are going to hurt yourself. It took me reading a whole bunch of success stories before I was ready to challenge myself. Once I did though, I was in a place where I accepted the diagnosis viewed my symptoms as psychologically based.

As Steve mentioned, you are always going to have some doubts as you go through your recovery. The main question is what do you do when you have those doubts. One great method is to list the reasons you have TMS on a card and carry it with you throughout your day. If you notice yourself thinking, Well it might be due to a physical issues, you can pull the card out and give yourself a little reminder. There is a great mention of this in this thread: http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/im-a-tmser-triathlete.262/#post-1902

One more thing, be okay with whatever level you are at right now. Recovery is a process and it happens when it happens. Part of the TMS personality is perfectionism, and we want to do everything exactly right and recover right now. However, this leads us to fight ourselves and our healing process. While it is important to accept the diagnosis, it is also okay to take your time getting there. If you are open and allowing of your emotions you will get there eventually. As Steve said, the rest may fall right into place if you don’t fight healing.

 

[Helen]

I guess I have spent so much of my recent life on the physical, working on my "muscle imbalances or weaknesses" it is hard to get out of the mindset. Currently seeing a physio doesn't help I guess, I will stop for a bit. In the past I had always found physical activity to make me feel better but in the last few years that changed.
By my 70/30 I meant that could it be that 30% is caused by poor posture or muscle weakness in certain muscles and 70% is caused by TMS.
I have 100% belief in TMS now just not that it is the cause for 100% of the pain symptoms right yet.
I hope that makes sense.
I'm trying to work my way to 100%, i guess this is necessary as otherwise I will always be thinking the pain could be caused by the 30% (physical)

I totally understand and am feeling the same...70/30 thanks for sharing ...

 

[Lori]

Mac, I agree the flare-up timing is NOT coincidence!