Day 10 1 step forward 2 steps back

[mrk591]

Yesterday I had a good day with a significant reduction in the pain in my hands. Unfortunately today I've regressed and my entire left arm is hurting (including my hand) - my original symptoms. I was feeling pretty good last night now I feel very disappointed. I'm convinced it's TMS but worry that my mind is sabotaging me. I can't think of what emotions are so bad that I need to suppress them so I struggle to find the cause of my TMS.

 

[giantsfan]

Great job, buddy! That forward step you made will give you more evidence that this is truly TMS. Make sure to add that to your evidence sheet if you haven't already. Really, really good job, that first step is always the hardest.

So now, you just need to work a little bit on not letting yourself get disappointed when you're symptoms increase. That. Right there. Is where TMS will keep pulling you down. But! It's okay, we all slip up, we are all human, don't beat yourself up or worry about "sabotage". You've been through a lot, the most important thing is to not care about when your symptoms come back, increase or move to another area (easier said than done). But when you create new neural pathways by thinking positive when you have pain you'll be heading on your way to be in less and less pain. Remember the pain is just a sensation, it's how you react to the pain that will matter. Just don't give a damn when the pain kicks in. It'll take time, but after awhile your body will thank you for it.

Don't sweat about the suppressed emotions, you'll only add more tension to yourself. Just keep following the SEP and try to keep it simple. Keep up the good work!

Daniel

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Don't sweat about the suppressed emotions, you'll only add more tension to yourself.

Hi mrk591,
I think Daniel makes a very good point.

I can't think of what emotions are so bad that I need to suppress them so I struggle to find the cause of my TMS.

Everyone's inner experience is fraught with conflicts and tension, and the difficult feelings of the Inner Child. This is what Dr. Sarno said: everyone has TMS of some kind. I understand why the doubt is there, based on your conscious (lack of) awareness of inner suffering and tension. But remember that we only experience consciously about 5% of our thoughts and feelings. The rest is hidden. The more you explore, the more you will be able to "use your imagination" as Dr. Sarno said, to contemplate difficult inner emotions. This is all that is needed. I hope you gently observe the doubts, but don't really believe them. They are natural because of the contrast between the apparent lack of difficult feelings, vs the severity of the symptoms.

Also, try not to get stuck on the "right" reason for the TMS. I could hardly walk for over three years, and I never found a specific "reason." I just connected symptoms to my vicious superego and how my Inner Child feels in that relationship. That was enough for me to "understand" the cause of tension. But this is just a supposition. Not exact.

Think of people who shoot their families and then themselves. These are extreme examples of the inner feelings emerging and not being controlled. Imagine the rage and other feelings that you may never be aware of, as a way to re-assure yourself you have TMS.

Andy B

Andy B