ZGG712

Hello TMS community!
I accept this diagnosis. It would be 100% if I did not have a deformed right foot (I am walking on my navicular/ankle bone which has caused a hallux valgar/bunion - literally like walking on two left feet)!

Anyway, that is where my TMS story begins, with walking causing pain. Later it spread to knee, hip, low back, shoulder, OOS/RSI in my wrists.

At 34, 20 years ago, I was bedridden for 5 years with toxic mould poisoning. Since then I have been managing my life within a 4 hour window of energy, which has meant leaving my careers & university post graduate course & no longer driving.

Most recently, the past 6 months I have had sciatica down my left leg & the same on my left shoulder causing pain, numbness & tingling down my left arm.

I have not had a normal nights sleep (without Rx) in 20-30 years, along with all the other multi-systemic symptoms which go with Myalgic Encephalomylitis, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Postural Orthostatic Tachychardia & Reynaurd's Syndrome.

Being on a low income without financial support the past 20 years has meant I have not spent a lot of money on the many different things available for recovering from M.E, such as hormone testing, gut healing, infra-red saunas, colon cleansing, Naturopath's/Functional Doctors etc. But I have very much wanted to! I have been motivated to heal the whole time & consequently have done extensive research & implemented what I could from that myself, such as Paleo diet, walking in sunlight in the morning, hydrating & sleep hygiene.

To know I have caused most of these physical ailments myself from unprocessed or unresolved emotions/trauma does not surprise me. After over 30 years of psychotherapy, I only found EMDR & 12 step recovery helpful with a 10+/10 Adverse Childhood Experiences score & a lot of adult trauma (5 car accidents, rapes, first on a murder scene, abusive relationships for decades, etc).

I feel hopeful that I can heal now, which for me personally will mean drawing closer to God & giving Him my burdens instead of abandoning myself in food/TV addiction. This is the most exciting thing for me, strengthening my relationship with Him, even if that means starting with some angry conversations asking Him where He was in all the abuse & asking how I can trust Him now. My mind trusts Him & now I am ready to integrate that trust into my heart, body & brain. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, fellow traveller! Peace be with you.