TrustIt

i have had some sort of sinus/pnd going on for over 15 years. i have all the right background pieces for tms - alcoholic father, emotionally unavailable parents, emotions made wrong, parents divorced when i was 12 (this was my first remembered experience of feeling desperate and powerless). i am a perfectionist, driven, a stressful career, a bit ocd, and in social situations wanting to be heard and understood. i cured my lifelong migraines a few years ago when reading dr. sarno's "the divided mind", but did not after that consider that this sinus issue could also be emotionally driven until running across steveO's GPD book. my husband and i had some issues going on around the time i came down with this....whatever it is - don't even have a label for it, rhinitis is as close as i can come b/c nothing has been "diagnosed". sinuses show normal on ct scan and ent exams. allergy testing with immunotherapy drops for over a year and diet restrictions. nothing changed. but SOMETHING is there b/c i feel it every day. it gets better and then comes back. the most frustrating thing i have ever encountered. at some location in the rabbit hole i went down with that through these years, i developed other symptoms that are equally as mysterious and frustrating and painful. gut issues (ibs?) that come and go drove me into yet another level of anxiety over my health in general. i began to experience orthorexia (irrational fear of unhealthy food and exhaustive search for an external culprit). all this created this anxiety loop that exacerbated EVERYTHING. it's all so connected...one feeding the other. when one thing is better, the other comes up to say hello again. currently, i am dealing with two of my siblings dying at the same time and i just feel numb about it...and guilty that i am not grieving (yeah, i know!). i absolutely KNOW with my KNOWER all this body stuff is tms, but am continually tempted to go for more information...you know...just in case. aaarrrggghh!