tmsinfant

I have had TMS most of my life, starting when I was in the third grade with unexplained stomach pain. I joined this form in hopes to get out of the fear over an MRI diagnosis of a rotator cuff tear which I suspect is TMS due to my TMS history. The following brought to Sarno was an event 22 years ago:

I suffered from debilitating back pain from 1995-2001. Prior to that I was extremely active, 4.5 tennis player, weight lifter, walked four miles a day and found myself on a floor staring at a ceiling for the majority of the day as I could not longer sit or stand without horrific burning pain. The diagnosis was minor degenerative disc disease I was told to avoid surgery if possible (thank God for that although one orthopedic surgeon did suggest it).

I was a manager for a pharmaceutical company, had to go on short term disability, then long term. I spent close to $18,000 of my own money and $75,000 of insurance seeking doctor after doctor, treatment after treatment, alternative treatments, flying to different places to find an answer but nothing brought me relief. Ironically, I had bought Sarno's book Healing Back Pain three weeks after my initial episode and did read it from cover to cover, however, I decided he had no clue what I was going through and that there was no way I could possibly be doing this to myself, so I wrote him off as a quack. (Remember I was a manager in the pharma industry and had also been a pharma representative calling on physicians all over including prestigious institutions like Duke University, so I felt like I knew doctors pretty well not to mention disease and cause.)

Then one night not sure exactly when, I was watching Larry King Live and John Sarno happened to be on the show along with a panel of other physicians, one of the OJ Simpson attorneys and maybe Howard Stern on the phone. I watched the show of course listening, but more importantly I observed Dr Sarno's demeanor and how he presented TMS, himself, and responded to questions or rebuffed misinformation of TMS in a manner that was not "self promoting." From my experience as a representative, I had called on hundreds of doctors and specialists, as a result I learned to read the ones who were truly caring, compassionate, and willing to place patients first versus those that were just basically were going through the motions trying to make money. On that Larry King show, I saw a physician of true compassion with a brilliant mind who was truly only interested in patient care and healing.

The next day, I bought The Mind Body Prescription and began my slow journey back to full health. It took me a long time, but eventually I was slowly able to get off the pain meds return to weight lifting, walking, tennis and another pharmaceutical position that had me driving long distances. I would carry The Mind Body Prescription in the passenger seat and just look at the cover from time to time, when stopping I would review the treatment steps and work those steps. As a result of my training in the pharmaceutical industry, along with my own self doubt and insecurity I needed constant reinforcement and reminders that I had (and have) TMS.

Thus today...my lovely rotator cuff. TMS again, fearful of the pain, out of the gym, absolutely no tennis, but thank goodness I can do my daily walks. My infant brain has heard rotator cuff tear, seen it on MRI, heard the words surgery from the mouth of one of the orthopedics that I currently call on and respect as a drug rep. My subconscious demons have taken over along with my medical indoctrination, the doubt, the fear all of it back again. I am battling with the techniques I know to use, but I have the gigantic stubborn subconscious mind that just does not want to let go.

So I am here to massage my brain in the hopes that I can crack through my subconscious vault.