try try again

Believe I have had TMS ever since I can remember, although I didn't learn about it until after I had my thyroid removed at 29 y/o and back surgery at 30 y/o. Found Dr. Sarno's books and saw myself from A-Z. I've always had weird gremlins in my body, i.e. getting stuck in fight or flight, bouts of tachycardia, frozen shoulder, easily startled, panic while driving, massive anxiety, visual snow...all the while thinking it's from hormones or b/c I don't have a thyroid or b/c I have Mitral Valve Prolapse or bc I moved a lot growing up and was always nervous and scared and did not find solace from my family, although we are close now. I self blame. I blame blame blame myself.
My current situation is suddenly feeling like I am going to pass out while I'm driving and I'm finding it hard to wrap my head around this being TMS b/c I can feel my heart glugging and I temporarily feel as tho I'm going to black out. It's so scary, I have stopped driving and hired my nephew to drive me to and from my stressful job. :/ My bloodwork is perfect, the heart ultrasound was perfect, my heart is good (just MVP)...but I am pretty convinced it's the MVP giving me symptoms. I'm currently typing this from my desk with a tight chest and palpitations and just totally crunched up inside myself. I'm not sure how much to include in the 'my story' section, so will end here. <3
The other thing is, this is such a pattern for me that when 'bad' things happen and I get scared, I can't seem to shake it and become consumed with it and feel like I should be on anti-depressants or something. I was for 10 years and weaned off b/c I wanted to live life as the real me. I'm struggling.