Veteran TMS healer stumped by back soreness

So I posted an amazing success story on here before. Eight years ago I went from totally crippled to completely back to normal. I have never experienced that level of pain again and my back pain never came back. I have had numerous niggling little symptoms come up over the years and have been able to defeat them all with mindbody methods. Huge believer here.

I actually had several very frustrating symptoms this year - IB, anxiety, insomnia, very realistic ankle pain, which really almost fooled me (all related to the same issue) and I very successfully got rid of them all. This time around I found Gordon's The Way Out so helpful, as well as Help and Hope for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes. My experience this year has really renewed my passion for mindbody healing and opened my eyes even more to the power of the mind over the body, especially since a lot of these symptoms were the result of conditioning, not so much hidden emotional stress. However, in the midst of all these symptoms, my back began to get very stiff, and sometimes sore. That was 8 months ago, and it has never gone away. And I'm stumped. It has not budged at all. It has not responded to any mindbody treatments whatsoever, even as the other symptoms vanished. The only progress I can say I made with it is that when exercise seemed to be making it worse, I took a week off to rest from all vigorous exercise to prove to my brain that exercise was not the cause. Sure enough, resting did not help in the least - in fact I felt stiffer, if anything. And since then exercise has had no effect on the soreness. I don't even notice it when I'm playing sports/working out. So I continue to live my life and am not restricted in any way (actually not true - I'm unable to lie on my stomach without pain, annoying but not that important). I am just so stumped by it. I've even tried just leaving it alone, knowing it will leave at some point, it doesn't matter when. Hasn't made any difference. We're going on almost 9 months now.... It's just so strange. There was no injury, although I had been shoveling snow for 3 hours (no pain while I was doing this though). A year previous I did have a genuine back injury, where I fell extremely hard on my tailbone and lower back. But healing was steady and within a month I was back to sports and running again, and after some stretching all residual stiffness disappeared. With this stretching actually feels terrible and seems to make it worse. So it is most definitely not an injury - all injuries feel better with stretching. I am just stumped because this thing will not budge and not respond to any treatment I have tried. It is just so weird. Any other veteran TMS healers with some advice?

And for those who are still healing please don't be discouraged by my story - this pain is not crippling and TMS is real!

 

I’d suggest rethinking
“not so much hidden emotional stress”
and refer back to Dr. Sarno.
Emotional stress comes in many forms: our subconcious anger, self-perceptions, self-talk/mindset/ limiting beliefs, fear, personality traits…
Conditioning is surely a component is not necessarily the only thing at play. Consider that something in your life is keeping your nervous system on high alert. Keeping an open and curious mind can really help to soften the stress of not knowing what is “wrong”. At this point you probably don’t even need to dig.
Just be open to the fact you have rage and find that ratio of letting out emotions (journal, lists, feeling emotions in the body, acknowledging resistance), and what is often called “self-soothing”.. meditation, music, nature walks, hobbies -stuff you can enjoy just for the sake of it instead of for the accomplishment.

 

As the above responses, I've really realized my emotional issues aren't as much the hidden stuff as what is going on currently in my life. Pressure around having to keep a job I hate to support my family, having my fiance live with me when I had a nasty ending to my last marriage (association there to living with someone again, so I guess kind of deep down stuff?), my own harsh self-criticism. I'm working on finding ways to adjust those mindsets as opposed to digging into the deep now.

 

UPDATE!!!

I wish I could edit the title of this post so people could see there is an update but I'm not sure how. But I am thrilled to say I am FINALLY HEALED! The back stiffness and mild soreness is gone, and has been for almost 2 months now. Here's the funny story - this really happened:

As I explained above, this stupid stiffness would not budge no matter what approach I took. My husband, who is a believer in TMS, knew I was struggling with this problem but hadn't really ever said much about it, just listened sympathetically when I would mention it from time to time. Well one evening we went for a long walk and I had a big venting session about it. And he finally said, "Grapefruit, you know it's TMS." Guess what? Within a couple of days the soreness and stiffness receded. By the end of the week it was GONE. Almost TEN months of soreness. Just because he affirmed to me that it was TMS. I was very annoyed at him and reproached him for not incantating my pain away a long time ago.

This incident very much reminds me of another incident that happened years ago, when I was in the throes of excruciating back pain and ignorant of Sarno. This same husband came to one of my chiro appointments for the first time, and watched the chiro use the "Activator." If you have been to a chiro recently maybe they have used this on you. It's a little gun-like looking device that they poke into your back. This magically straightens out your legs and spine. Anyway, after the session, on the way home, he said, "That thing is a total scam and a fraud. There is no way that thing does anything." And guess what? That was THE very last time I ever received any relief from the "Activator." That was the turning point in regards to seeing the chiro anymore - I stopped going soon after. Of course at the time, I had no idea that what had really happened was that my husband had broken the chiro's placebo spell. I believed my back was now so bad even the chiro could no longer help me. But later I realized that my unconscious really values and respects my husband's opinion (and he is a very smart guy!). And he is also very assertive, opinionated and trustworthy.

So now I am adding "Get husband to affirm symptoms as TMS" to my list of TMS-busting strategies. But in all seriousness, it's not a terrible idea to talk over your symptom with someone you trust and respect and who can accept TMS and can help boost your confidence that yes, there is probably nothing seriously wrong with you and you might have TMS.

As funny as this story is, I have to say I am yet again blown away by the mind-body connection. TMS is truly a lifelong journey of continual, greater awareness. And it has never let me down yet.