My mind oscillates crazy between happiness and unhappiness, between hope and despair. The scars from childhood abuse are really deep. There are times when I am happy that I have overcome an abusive upbringing, and then there are times when I feel my father is right with me, even though he is more than 3,000 miles away. I keep going in circles between thinking I have beaten depression/TMS and I am still stuck in that cycle. Mindfulness helps at times, but it doesn't take much to slip in the old rut. Mindfulnesses, and being in the moment is pure bliss, but the flashbacks of the past are equally hell-like. I guess I need to keep exercising the brain by practising mindfulness.