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The Battleaxe is in the Room...

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by juderocketqueen, Sep 4, 2016.

  1. juderocketqueen

    juderocketqueen New Member

    Since starting the SEP I seem to be angrier and more irritable in a "Won't suffer fools gladly" way.
    This is interesting to me.

    I became a Christian about 3 years ago. Not been going to church for two months due to CFS relapse. I will go back to church eventually but I wonder if my seething is a sign of things shifting?! No longer trying to be a goodist.

    It's a liberating feeling in a way to have road rage (not to point of harming anyone) and swearing at Facebook updates! And generally being hugely cantankerous!
    plum likes this.
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Interesting, indeed, jrq!

    I think that "things shifting" is certainly a good description of what's going on. It occurs to me that your brain is perhaps exchanging goodist behavior for reactive behavior. I only say that because this type of anger is actually kind of a distraction in itself. Does that make sense?

    I do think that the shifting is a good sign that your brain is being shaken out of its old patterns. I can suggest a couple of ways to work with it:

    - if you recognize that it's a distraction, you'll want to get past it and go deeper to where the real rage lies and needs to be acknowledged

    - if it's a sign of letting go of goodism, you can think of it as a step towards being able to confidently say "No" or calmly allowing yourself to ignore things that aren't important to your personal well-being (like everyone's FB updates or bad drivers).


    plum and juderocketqueen like this.
  3. juderocketqueen

    juderocketqueen New Member

    Great. Think I know where the real.rage lies in past but today's rage needs working on... Things that keep me anxious.
  4. nelle

    nelle Peer Supporter

    Hi Juderocketqueen

    IM on day 20 and i would definitely say ive been the most actively angry these last few weeks than i have ever felt. Very eye opening experience as i dont consider myself an angry person.
    juderocketqueen likes this.
  5. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    If it helps I went through a particularly angry phase while healing. I agree with @JanAtheCPA on the essentials of this. However I would add that for me it was quite important to get angry about certain things that were going on at the time. Anger is not a negative emotion. It is galvanising and action-oriented and often a fully appropriate and legitimate response. After a while you'll get better at noticing the difference between this healthy expression and the distraction form that Jan mentions. Subtle but important, and all grist to the mill of becoming more emotionally intelligent and literate. There really are differences between rage, annoyance, frustration, being pissed off, overwhelmed and so forth. It can take a while to tease it out but you do get there and you do definitely move onto and into more equitable ways of dealing with things.

    As a side note, isn't it amazing how powerful anger can be? It truly makes you realise how holding all that energy inside can cause chaos in your mind and body.
  6. juderocketqueen

    juderocketqueen New Member

    I have seen your posts. I was thinking of you and that prompted me to post!
  7. juderocketqueen

    juderocketqueen New Member

    Great response. Thank you.
  8. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    There are some helpful videos on Youtube about anger management. They're worth a few minutes watching.
    Sometimes I feel a need to shout or scream. After I do either, I follow it with laughing.
    juderocketqueen likes this.

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