Searching for Help in my Recovery

Hey Guys,
Im 22 Years old and struggle with growing pains my whole Life.
Docs were saying i had Borelliose but i know that its just a guessing Diagnosis.
Fast forward with 13 all my pains were leaving and i developed acne.
With 16 i took a medication for my acne to leave.
When my acne left i was developing left knee pain and tiredness shortly after.
After that i developed pain in both knees that were staying for a long time and i still have right now.
It was like i got small injuries all over my Body and now most of them stayed with me.
Only shortly after reading doctor Sarnos first book i broke my collarbone partly, went to the doc he said it looks good and ill be fine and i should resume Activity after it healed up.
It should healed up by now but i still feel pain and iam not sure if its tms or a structural Problem.
I dont want to go to the docs again cause i had a lot of Mris in my Life for all body parts.
My Knees were strained and i was diagnosed with Tendinitis and small athritic changes.
My Shoulder was diagnosed as bursitis or part Rotator Cuff tears, and another doc told me my Biceps tendons in both shoulders are worn down.
Besides that i struggled with stomach issues and struggle with Hermorhoids since 2 years,
had an operation on my right hand for a ganglion that came back and i still struggle with issues in both hands and elbows.
I was as well a big Allergy Sufferer as a Child and had some phases of Depression, but moreso because I cant do what i love to do, that is playing soccer, basketball and lifting weights. ( without pain/ to the extent i would love to do it).
I had rheumatic Tests, all Kind of blood tests, been at several chiropractors, Physical Therapist and a lot of other stuff.
Nothing helped and if it helped only for a short-time span.
I finished Healing Back pain, Finished The Great Pain Deception, and i really do identify with a lot of stuff.
Im a goodist, I was overly focused on my Lookings nearly perfectionistic, and im really competitive in sports.
I could be a highly senstitive person as well.
I struggle with my belief in TMS and that im broken and cant heal and that i make everything worse deep down.
I also resumed working out my legs in the gym and playing basketball from time to time.
Both gives me Pain but to a tolerable degree most of the time.
Working my Upper Body im too afraid to do it right now.
So im stuck with my issues since years and dont get a hold of them.
I want to recover but am not sure what to do to get better.
Im unfortunately living in Germany so im unable to see a certified TMS- Doc.
Im trying positive imagination as well and i did journaling for some days but stopped after that.
So right now im confused cause of all the Information, what i should continue doing and what is a waste of time, and im not sure if TMS is the right thing for me and didnt had that clicking moment i guess.
Best Greeting and a Good and Rapid Recovery to everyone on here.
Bless you all

 

Hi @Goodstufftocome, and welcome. I think you found the right place, so give yourself a lot of credit for being here.

Please start by doing our one-day-at-a-time Structured Educational Program. The word Structure is the key thing, because it will guide you with short daily tasks. Some of us found some relief just by reading the books, but most of us found that we had to do deeper emotional work in order to really find recovery.

It's hard to tell how old you are now, but I think you're still very young - much too young for so many problems like this! You are going to have to explore your deep emotions, but if you can do that with total honesty, and face the worst things that your brain is repressing, you can get better. You've already had some success.

I have another book suggestion for you, by Claire Weekes, called "Hope and Help For Your Nerves". It has helped thousands of people who have anxiety, including myself.

Above all, you must love yourself at all times. This is sometimes really hard, but the fact is that you need to love yourself enough to know that you deserve to recover and live a normal healthy life.

Good luck,

~Jan

 

Thank you for your respond Jan and your book suggestion i will look into it.
Im not sure if have anxiety though.
I started today with the recovery program and I will go on a jog later in the day.
I will try to explore my repressed Emotions as good as i can.
But i dont understand how i can face them if im not aware of them.
Im totally unaware of my emotions in general i guess, its like im really unsure to name how i feel about stuff or myself.
I get angry sometimes but most of the time I dont get bothered by anything at all.
Im sorry if i ask too many questions.

 

Hi.
I'm new, like you. I don't have anything to add because I'm learning as well but just wanted to say that these forums are full of lovely people and I hope that the programme and the forums help you to find a way forward, through and out the other side!

 

Hey! I know I might get piled on by the rest of the forum but... (drumroll) .......You do NOT have to see a TMS Doctor! I have never met one in my life and I have been 'cured' for two decades. I read Healing Back Pain and started working a program to combat my fear, conditioning and beliefs. During my recovery I too wanted to see a TMS doc. I lived in California and there was only One doctor even making the diagnosis on the west coast of the USA then...and he was on vacation (damn!)

I believe I wanted to make an appointment which was months out....and kept working on the other parts...reconditioning, challenging my fear and examining my beliefs. My pain was gone loooong before that guy got back.

As regarding doctors in General... Cui Bono? What would happen to the Medieval Medical Mythologists if it became common knowledge that most of our recurring symptom imperatives were caused by Rage, anxiety, stress and other things that cannot be repaired via surgery or medication?

The only reason we have 'doubt' is because of the litany of folklore passed around by the 'SYSTEM'... Part of my recovery was reading HBP and noting where I got conflicting diagnoses from different doctors.

One of my favorite Sarno lines of all time : "Therapeutic eclecticism equals diagnostic incompetence" .... BOO YAH !!!!

Advertise in your own head. Don't even listen to ANYTHING that resonates with the Bullshit/no results medical world. Keep challenging yourself and hang in there. You will look back on this time and laugh...for sheer joy

peace

 

I'm 100% self - diagnosed, @Baseball65, as are lots of our members! Plenty of health professionals couldn't find anything wrong with me, and accepting Dr Sarno's diagnosis in The Divided Mind was a no-brainer.

 

I am also self-diagnosed. Once you see progress you can believe it's TMS.

That is anxiety - you are changing your behavior because of fear of what could happen.
It is ok to go slowly, and you build confidence as you eventually feel better and do more. (Sometimes pain increases at first, and relapses along the way, but the big picture is improvement.)

I agree with Jan. Stick to the structure! Do the SEP. Try different things to discover what works best for you. In my experience, the goal is to find things that 1) lower your stress, 2) increase your confidence, and 3) bring your focus onto your emotions and psychology. Doing visualization and affirmation is great! Keep it up. Do it with your whole being, really believing what you say.

It's great you know this, so you know to grow here. Journaling regularly is what helps you face the emotions and issues you're not aware of. Doing it everyday is like building a muscle. You will also get better at naming your feelings. Use the prompts in the Structured Education Program, like Jan said.

Here's what another member wrote (I forget who): "It really comes down to two things in my opinion: 1. Belief in TMS 2. Patience. The belief in TMS is the closest thing to a silver bullet I've discovered when it comes to pain, because it really reduces fear which in turn reduces pain over time. Patience allows the belief to do its work."
Claire Weekes says something similar too. Acceptance + Time = Recovery.

You can also look at the recovery stories of Caulfield (here) and ACE1 (here). They are very detailed and inspiring.

Keep posting here so we can hear how you're doing. Ask as many questions are you need to!

 

We see this belief a lot from people who are new to these ideas, and you are also quite young. You have probably been taught to hide your emotions by the adults who raised you. And/or, you have learned on your own to hide your emotions in order to survive in a dysfunctional environment, which is usually the family.

You haven't said anything at all about your family, but in order to make real progress towards recovery, you will need to explore your childhood and your family relationships, no matter how difficult that might be.

 

Sorry for not coming back earlier i was really busy lately and tried the Program.
So i waited for more than the recomennded time for my collarbone to heal up.
I was back at the gym with a friend didnt worried and just did my workout ignoring my pain.
Next Day i woke up with the most intense shoulder i had in a long time.
One of my shoulder was also bruised on the outside.
Is this tms? I thought about getting to an Phd Orthpedic for it but am not sure.
My family situation is quite good i would say.
I have good contact with them and really care for them.
I dont really understand anymore.
It really got me guessing if theres not something really wrong with my joints or my body.