Today I posted a revelation about how I'd been seeing myself as a "victim" (my whole life) and realizing the stressors on my list of past events neglected the events where I had wronged others. I took myself on an inner journey through some of these past events where I felt victimized; stopping at each moment where the situation escalated, and FEELING IN MY GUT THAT I HAD A CHOICE. MAKING THAT CHOICE CONSCIOUSLY. I tried it as reframing, saying no where I'd said "yes" and "victimized" myself. Then I tried it stopping at each moment where the situation escalated, FEELING IN MY GUT AND MAKING A CLEAR CHOICE: YES. I took control of my choices. Choices I had made with a conflicted gut. As I did this I FELT IN MY BODY WHAT HAPPENED. I STRAIGHTENED UP. My spine automatically lengthened. My CHEST LIFTED. I FELT CONFIDENT AND IN CONTROL AND POWERFUL. I WAS MAKING A CHOICE, MYSELF. There are still moments I haven't or can't explore fully yet, but WOW! the difference. I can feel the energy shooting out of my body. I can FEEL HOW I WAS HUNCHED AND FROZEN IN FEAR before I made a clear choice, how I acted out of conflict and then FELT VICTIMIZED. I know now that I AM IN CONTROL of far more than I realized. I can go back and reframe my life to free myself of emotional bonds that are hurting me, physically as well as psychically. I can make a choice at every moment. In the midst of all this, this morning, I had a doctor's app't to follow up on some bloodwork (low iron). I have a new doctor and she is wonderful! She validated all my feelings and this journey! and even asked if I'd speak to a group of patients in chronic pain, about this mindbody work! She even agreed with me that although I'll keep taking iron until the next blood test, my low iron may very well be due to being scared from the pain, and feeling "weak" and "weak minded". I am so grateful! to her and the TMS community and Canadian healer Neil Pearson for his "Life is Now" program that has been and continues to be crucial in my healing.