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Newbie :) My brief story

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by lrosied, Jan 24, 2017.

  1. lrosied

    lrosied Newcomer

    Hi all,
    Ill try keep this short - basically I was introduced to Dr. Sarno and TMS roughly 2 weeks ago. Since then I have dove head first into this method of healing. I have read Sarnos and Steve O's books, began journaling, just started the structured program, even went to a TMS Dr. and was officially diagnosed and attended his lecture. I have had TMS symptoms for a good 15 years or so when I look back (I am 32). In 2014, 2 weeks after my 30th birthday (go figure) and after a few other major life events, I was diagnosed with Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (tight muscles, spasms, pain, urinary frequency). It was a horrible time for me and led to severe depression. I tried everything you could imagine - even so called "spiritual healers" and psychics who just took my money and pretended they were curing me. I was desperate. It got better and "manageable" but I was still limited to my physical activity...which for someone who was extremely athletic and active was very hard for me. Fast forward to this past July 2016, following the birth of my first son I began experiencing extreme hip, low back and buttock/leg pain and spasms "down there" (because pushing a baby out for 3 hours wasn't enough pain for me ;) I was a complete and total mess of a new mother. Crying daily, feeling helpless, feeling guilty, and completely depressed and broken. Had the gamut of tests, physical therapy, orthotics, chiros, acupuncture, you know the drill. Nothing made it better. Anyway, here I am...two weeks into my diagnosis and acceptance of TMS and I already have had some days where the pain is down about 60 or so percent. I feel hopeful that I can beat this but obviously my "perfectionist" "obsessive" and "worrisome" TMS personality still says "well, what if you cant do it?" It's scary...and I find myself counting days which I know is not a great thing to do, and also becoming obsessed (there it is again!) with reading success stories, praying one day ill be able to write me own! I know the reduction of pain is a positive sign, and its still very early on (not one of those magical book healers...damn those lucky few!) but as today the pain is increased I get a little down. Guess I am just looking for some support and reassurance that this is normal and how to deal with the "bad" days.
    Thanks for reading and look forward to the support of this wonderful forum!!
    Lisa
     
  2. riverrat

    riverrat Well known member

    Welcome Lisa,

    I share some of your symptoms of your journey with pelvic, back and leg pain. I had this in 2005, I got better by 2008 after simply finally trusting in my body to heal itself and finding happiness and more calmness in life. I was 90-95% well then until 2014 when this pelvic floor pain returned after some extremely overwhelming and stressful crisis' s. Its been back and forth since. I like you, need reassurance too. I was your age in 2005 when it started too with 3 little kids. But because it came on after emotional turmoil this time, I fully accept it as emotionally caused with a totally overloaded nervous system. Pelvic pain has a huge emotional component that I think now even conventional medicine agrees that it does.
    If I got through what I did years ago, so can you! And so can I again. I'm currently doing a program to retrain my brain and calm my nervous system back down to relax those pelvic and leg muscles. The most important thing to getting well is simple and that's to believe in getting well again. You will! Find time for yourself in the busyness of being a new mom. That's a huge exciting, but yet stressful event in and of itself. Mine are all teenagers now. So I know his busy you are. I wish you a super fast recovery of this! You're going to be OK.
     
    lrosied likes this.
  3. lrosied

    lrosied Newcomer

    Thank you so much for your reply riverrat, its so good to hear a success story from someone with such similar symptoms. I have always thought there was an emotional component to the pelvic pain, but was always focused on it being caused mainly from muscle imbalance (I had a traumatic foot injury when I was 3 years old which I don't remember, hiding somewhere in that damn subconscious!). Now I know that its all crap! Can I ask you are doing to retrain your brain and calm your nervous system? I have never been good at meditating but think it would probably really benefit me. Any other methods that worked for you in your recovery? I really appreciate your advice and your positivity!! Being a new mom is the most beautiful thing in the world but definitely the most STRESSFUL! So finding time to focus on me and my program are top priority :)
     
  4. riverrat

    riverrat Well known member

    Actually I read about ashok Gupta here on the tms wiki, so checked his website out and ordered his DVD program. The 12 week webinars included started yesterday which are recorded as well. It is a money back guarantee even if after 6 months there's no improvement. His explanation of why this came back on me makes more sense than anything else does for me. It was things emotionally I was going through that led to this coming back at me again after years of being well. I journaled all last year and do not find journaling helpful at all for me. But my stessful circumstances I was in also escalated and I was so totally overwhelmed with taking care of it all.
    But now I see why had so much trouble coping-,I hadn't had a chance to reboot my short circuit yet. :)
    Through journaling for over a year, I also became very aware of strong emotions I have but don't believe , in my case, it's repressed emotions. It's more a matter of resetting my overloaded system because my amygala is still stuck on fight or flight. The gupta hypothesis is similar to sarno but there's differences. But hey, we are all different too with different causes and cures for our pain, right? He believes we are totally conditioned to pain also through fear. That's a huge one for me. I just felt I needed to try his program. Pelvic psin is very controlling and it needs to recover.
    I still struggle with "physical" thoughts that something is wrong that doctors missed. But deep down I know it's got to be just tight muscles being tensed too long that don't know his to relax yet. Do you believe that too? What are your symptoms, even though I hate talking about symptoms. It would be comforting to hear someone with the same. The Gupta program is targeted more for CFS, fibro, ME, but he says pain comes from the same thing which is a stressed amygala. So I'm giving it a try. The program is mainly mediation, visualizations a, and ways to stop negative thoughts about our symptoms. I still have a lot to learn-,I haven't even finished watching the dvd's yet.
     
    lrosied likes this.
  5. lrosied

    lrosied Newcomer

    Sounds interesting!! Ill have to check that out and maybe ill do it with you! I feel similarly that my symptoms are more based on fear and anxiety and definitely that the muscles need to relax. Ive actually even tried botox because my urogynecologist said it would force them to relax, but guess what...it didnt work! Which I think just proves that I myself am in charge of making that change internally...its both liberating and extremely terrifying. My symptoms currently are low back (si joint) pain, buttock pain, sciatica, hip pain and urinary urgency...with a little pelvic pain thrown in ;) (although thats taken second tear now with all the other symptoms). Its a fun time over here! Seriously though, its been absolute hell trying to deal with the pain along with having a brand new baby, and no surprise its taken a big toll on my marriage...trying to keep it all together but one could say I am pretty desperate to come out of this deep dark ugly hole!
     
  6. riverrat

    riverrat Well known member

    Oh my honey, I'm so sorry. I am more than open to chatting on the phone if that's anything if interst to you! We'll get through this. So many others have. Sending healing thoughts your way!
     
    brendan537 likes this.
  7. riverrat

    riverrat Well known member

    "Which I think just proves that I myself am in charge of making that change internally..."

    You are right in that comment. We hold the power. I too tried everything from pelvic floor physical therapy, accupuncturists, osteopathic, chiropractic, dry needling, you name it. None worked. Often even massage makes it worse. Fear is behind it, I swear! For several reasons. Not to mention stress! So yes, the cure is within.
     
    lrosied likes this.
  8. lrosied

    lrosied Newcomer

    That is so incredibly sweet of you. I would actually love that! Would be great to have support from someone who understands...my friends and family try to but its not the same! I will send you a private message.
     
    brendan537 likes this.
  9. abbi

    abbi New Member

    Hi guys, totally understand where you are coming from. My symptoms are buttock pain bilaterally, consultant thinks it is PN. I have only so for tried Pelvic physio and she said I have tight muscles. I am trying so hard to relax the muscles. The power of healing must be within all of us..the stories on some of the other forums have really scared me. So I always come back to this one to read the success stories. Here's hoping we all improve and get better.
    I have had a consultation with Georgie Oldfield which helped my nerves a little and am trying to do what she has asked me to also
     
  10. lrosied

    lrosied Newcomer

    Hi abbi! So sorry to hear about your suffering too! I wish there was a magic wand I could wave to make us all better!! i STRONGLY advise you to STOP researching anything related to your condition (especially PN---it is a scary place out there on that Dr. Google!) and just believe in your TMS diagnosis. I never research anymore because it would just make me more and more depressed, worried and helpless. Pelvic Floor physio never really worked for me and now I understand why. I know what your saying about trying to relax the muscle but I also think sometimes the more we try, the more they fight back! Maybe we just have to try to not think about them. I cant wait for the day what I dont have to say "pelvic floor" anymore, haha!
     
    eskimoeskimo likes this.
  11. MicheleRenee

    MicheleRenee Peer Supporter

    Hi everyone! I'm in the same boat too with these symptoms. It's definitely TMS as there is absolutely no reason for it otherwise. I've had a very stressful few years and life in general (sick mother and brother my whole life) which have been magnified within the past year. Since I was a teen I've never "felt" feelings... which has always bothered me.. I could never understand why I was so stoic. This past summer i remember feeling "off" like something in me was telling me I needed a change or realization in my life and then WHAM this past Sept the whole issues started. It's morphed throughout the process (burning tongue, chest pain, fasculations, carpal tunnel twinges...symptom imperative much?!) into the pain I feel now.. sitbones, sciatica, vaginal, etc. It all makes so much sense to me! Also... i've noticed ever since I've started this journey about a month or so ago more people seem to be coming here for pelvic pain issues (specifically the type we're talking about) which is very telling to me. We CAN do this and we WILL beat TMS. Today is an "off" day for me but I've had some serious emotional realizations about my mother the past 2 days so I am confident that my brain is trying to assert itself. If anyone needs a buddy to talk to feel free to message me! xoxo
     

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