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My Coffee Experiment

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by jokeysmurf, Jan 5, 2020.

  1. jokeysmurf

    jokeysmurf Well known member

    Hello all,
    I have been off this forum for a while. I have been back at living life but I wanted to drop in and share my coffee experience. I hope this can help some people, since it’s not really about coffee.

    I have had TMS for, well a long time. I have been recovering from it for 3.5 years and I would say I’m doing very well now. I don’t like putting percentages because it encourages obsessing. However, when I look back at my life, I would say I am so close to doing all the things I once did. Fear has been the biggest obstacle and it is slowly losing its grip. Life feels expansive and more beautiful than I remember, I feel like a teenager at times.

    As part of TMS I have had anxiety for a long time. It became a disorder about 6 years ago and I have had some ups and downs with it. Coffee,for people like me, was always a problem. Except that it never was before I was anxious. I started thinking maybe somewhere down the line I developed a belief system or rather fear reaction toward coffee. I mean we all know it’s supposed to give us the jitters or something. So I decided to try and take up drinking coffee again.

    I wanted to see if my brain was conditioned to respond with fear. I bought some regular coffee and some Swiss water decaf. I would ask my wife to make a cup but not tell me which she used. Well, I had anxiety every time, even with the decaf! That is very clear what is happening.

    When I would knowingly drink regular coffee I would get the typical sensations, spinning, distant, spacey etc. The same thing happened when drinking decaf! What happens when we look for exceptions is we start to realize what’s at play. It didn’t immediately remove the sensations just because I knew I was experiencing a conditioned response. It gave me the ability to keep on however, knowing that this would happen and also more important maybe not happen...but when?

    I decided to continue my experiment until I was no longer sensitive to it. If that would ever happen. It would be 2 months of feeling spinning, distant and Spaciness ...until one day I felt fine. It was odd! I remember being totally engrossed in a project I was doing and drinking coffee, like I always did. I caught myself feeling normal and because of that, it produced the sensations I was expecting, but they subsided quickly.

    today it’s been 6 months since my experiment. I still get the “spins” every now and again but I allow it to happen and I know it will pass, and it does and other times the sensations don’t come at all or last a minute at most.

    I’m not sure how many people have done this for themselves. I think it should give some people hope out there if they love coffee.

    I realized that it’s all the same things we do with our mind. We label something “safe” and “unsafe.” I have friends with TMS IBS who believe if they eat Mexican food they will be in trouble. I eat Mexican food and have had IBS and it never produced any I’ll effects. It was because I had no fear, rather I felt comfort when eating certain foods. Once I did feel I was TMSing because I ate Thai Food level 4 hot, I was in pain. It did retract when I reminded myself with visualizations that in the past I had eaten Thai Hot food which is not recommended plus have had ghost peppers etc. What had changed was that I had become fearful of the possibility. Within hours I was fine.

    I hope this can provide some insight for some people out there.
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2020
    Dorado, HattieNC, JanAtheCPA and 2 others like this.
  2. Katted

    Katted Newcomer

    Caffeine has a different effect on the body and causes a different reaction in each person. Recently, I began to abuse coffee and I feel that serious problems will arise soon, but drinking 5-6 cups of coffee has become a habit for me and I cannot stop. I began to experiment and add various syrups and liqueurs to coffee. The taste changes a little, but still these are coffee drinks that seriously affect the heart. Hazelnut coffee became my favorite, as it has a very unusual taste that makes me remember my childhood. My grandmother often cooked hazelnut pies and treated me to them. Perhaps I should see a doctor for appropriate treatment.
  3. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    This was the same exact experience I had with alcohol, caffeine, salty foods, etc. What a major win - I'm happy for you!
    jokeysmurf likes this.
  4. Blue_Man

    Blue_Man New Member

    I used to drink 5-6 cups of coffee a day with no issues (well, except for the chronic stressful lifestyle) and now after I came down with what I feel is chronic fatigue syndrome (or maybe TMS, I'm hoping), I feel like my body is in this constant state where it cannot handle stressful situations, especially physical stress like exercise, and even half a cup of coffee makes my heart race and beat hard. I've given up caffeine for the time being and wonder if I am just in a vulnerable state after being under so much stress for so long. I hope one day to at least be able to enjoy a cup or two a day again.
  5. try try again

    try try again Newcomer

    I just came to the forum looking for this exact thing. Thank you for posting, albeit 2.5 years ago. lol. I have been having major anxiety and heart glugs/palps (I now am very close to accepting it's TMS, as I've had things my whole life!) and have attached my beloved double IPA's (only 1) and coffee as 'bad things'. I was having major heart glug episodes the next day after drinking a beer and once I put the correlation together, I gave them up...I was attempting to give up my morning coffee but wondered if it's ALLLLLLL in my mind. I am in such a haze between the massive anxiety and trying to tackle my repressed rage and also feel normal...the cardiologist recommended magnesium...do I even need that or is it more of a distraction? I don't know...it stinks. Anywho....me me and more me...
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  6. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    LOL - I get it, @try try again, but also, this how our brains are wired, because without a focus on our own self-interest, we would not have survived in the primitive world! It's perfectly natural, so don't let your brain tell you it's a bad thing when it comes to doing this work, okay? You deserve to be healthy in your body and your mind.

    Check out our free SEP - the Structured Educational Program. No sign-up required, just start doing it. The few things I recommend for success are: take the time to let it sink in, don't let your brain rush you through it, and don't let your brain convince you that something can be ignored or skipped. Your subconscious fearful brain will try to edit what you write down during the exercises, and it's essential that you overcome that. Do the program with a commitment to taking emotional risks being 100% honest with yourself, because anything less is a waste of time.

    Good luck,

  7. try try again

    try try again Newcomer

    Thank you so much, Jan! I appreciate the wisdom and I will check out the SEP. It sometimes gets to the point where you feel like a crazy person trying to talk to you brain, let go of the repressed rage (I have a ton!), still wonder if there MIGHT be one tiny thing really wrong w your body, all while smiling and acting like a normal person. I had a major heart glug a few weeks ago while driving fast on the highway to work in rush hour traffic...It's about the 5th time since 2020, but for some reason, this one really scared me bc I thought i was going to pass out. So now i have stopped driving and hired my nephew to drive me to/from work. It's ridiculous b/c I am totally independent and love to drive, just scared of the driving anxiety. My brain really knows where to get me b/c i have to get myself to work! I have MVP, but went to the ER and Cardio, have had all blood work come back normal and heart EKG and ultrasound normal, so Cardio suggested Magnesium. It just makes me tired. Anyway, i decided to throw this all in, in case there is any more wisdom to be had. I thought it might be alcohol (one drink a month!) or hormones or something blocking oxygen to my brain...anywho, thank you for your response. I literally feel crazy trying to get thru all this and just hope to wake-up one day and be my old self (with all my repressed rage hiding in the wings, of course!)...lol.
    fredZ9 likes this.
  8. PainNoMore

    PainNoMore Peer Supporter

    chronic fatigue syndrome is TMS. no doubt about it. 100%. it's not easy to whip but there are lots of success stories out there for you to look up. chronic fatigue usually has a number of conditioned responses that have to be confronted. good luck
    JanAtheCPA likes this.

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