Day 8 mixed feelings

Dear forum,

I'm progressing through the educational program and I struggle with the journaling exercises because thus far they have provided me with little to no new insights due to being very similar in nature to my psychoanalysis sessions. Therefore I'm mostly writing about the same things I have already talked repeatedly in depths about with my therapist and I'm hitting the same walls. Is this a common problem for people doing psychoanalysis and the SEP?

Regarding the suggestion to stop keeping track of the pain intensity: I'm an intensive intensity logger. I've been logging for years anything that might be related to my RSI, allergies, knee pain and all kinds of other issues (e.g. intensity of knee pain, fatigue, sleepiness, sneezing, ...) and it has helped me in the past to see the bigger picture because (thanks to my really bad memory) I often couldn't grasp long term shifts in intensities without my log. Currently I just make a quick note on my smartphone using a data entry app e.g. whenever my wrists hurt for the first time a day or the pain gets noticeably stronger than it was before in the day. But even as I'm skeptical about the recommendations to stop tracking I will stop doing this for pains for the length of the program and afterwards reevaluate if this is something I should continue.

Apart from that today was a pretty ok day for me and it has been a while since such a workday. Not because I was in less pain than normally (I've had very little pain for the last 2-3 months), actually I had more pain but noticeably less anxiety. This kinda matches a theory from my therapy: as I stop somatizing repressed emotions I feel more anxiety which impacts my ability to work well and even my capacity to think clearly throughout the day - this has been a major issue for me the last few months. I really hope that I can progress past this issue soon.

Yours,
phil

 

Phil, Dr. Sarno says a lot of people don't have repressed emotions so that is not the cause of their TMS pain.
For those people, and actually for many, he says a perfectionist or "goodist" personality is causing the pain.

So maybe that is your problem. You say you are constantly keeping track of your pain. That could be the problem.
You are logging regularly for causes of your pain, which means you do not yet fully believe your pains are from TMS.
It isn't easy, but must be done. Believe 100 percent in TMS.

 

Thanks for the input Walt. You are right I do have the usual TMS personality traits, however, thanks to therapy I discovered that I also repress many emotions.

The logging has mostly been a habit the past few years and I've only learned about TMS 2 1/2 months ago but I'm going to stop logging now.

 

Hi Phil,
When I began engaging Dr. Sarno's approach, I had already had many years investigating my own psychodynamics. As I journalled, I would list a common feeling, superego identity, superego attack, behavior pattern, and then begin to write out how this aspect of my life would effect the Inner Child. So this suggestion may add to your journaling: bring it right into the Sarno theory. How does ______aspect of your experience create _______difficult feeling that would need to be "not felt."

The other thing, which is more common that I'd like to think, is that some psychotherapy does not support feeling, as much as it does analysis, understanding, etc. For Sarno's work, I recommend sensing into your body and feeling, as you journal, and as you experience life.

For the Dr. Sarno approach, begin to use your phone to write down exceptions to the normal patterns of pain. Keep track of these closely, and stop the other pain symptom monitoring. You might watch Alan's video part way down the page to educate yourself about this practice: http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Alan_Gordon,_LCSW

You're on track, and you're asking the right questions, making this program fit you!

Andy B.

 

Thanks Andy, I will keep trying.

 

Hi, Phil. For most of us with TMS it is a combination of repressed emotions and our perfectionist and goodist personality.
I discovered my repressed emotions going back to my boyhood, and began modifying my perfectionism and goodism.
We don't need to drastically change our personalities, just not let them rule our lives. Moderation in everything is
the best way to go. `