Middle Back Attack

Hello All,

As my low back continues to improve daily, my middle back (the region of my back between and below my shoulder blades) has been cranking up the spasms, especially when I'm leaning forward at my desk working or standing and looking down at my phone, or standing for a longer period of time than usual. Christmas Day was the worst it's been in a while. I even gave in a little and tried rolling it out, which actually made it worse. My daughter looked at me over Christmas dinner and asked what was wrong because I looked so sad. I had to get up and walk away because the emotion I felt looking at her worried little face overwhelmed me. As a man, this is very difficult for me, which is probably one of the reasons I experience TMS.

It's so obviously the symptom imperative at work, but it's been off and on since May and I have to admit, it's been wearing me down over the last few weeks. I'm curious if there are others out there with chronic low back pain that cured themselves with TMS healing and also had the middle back attack as a symptom imperative response? And if so, what did you do when your mid-back spasms increased intensity as your low back de-intensified? How do you go about your day with this pain that makes even the simplest things a grind? It just seems the more I try and ignore it, the worse it feels.

As always, thanks for any advice and guidance!
-Hamed

 

Hi Hamed - I'm not going to answer your specific question, because that's the problem with it - it is WAY too specific. To me, it indicates that you are still thinking physically instead of psychologically.

Asking others to validate your symptoms means that you aren't yet able to accept the way that TMS works in your brain. The thing is, the specific way in which TMS manifests is going to be different for every individual - that's a huge component of the tricky way in which our brains keep us distracted.

This time of the year is a hard one for most of us (especially if we are in the Northern Hemisphere). The combination of holiday stress, bad weather, dark days, and end-of-year concerns - to say nothing of the state of the world right now - is well-known for causing emotional as well as physical problems. There's a reason why the rate of heart attacks is higher at this time of the year.

Rather than concentrating on your back, I would suggest looking at what is stressing you out right now - and be willing to go deep. Small irritations usually mask deeper negative emotions that your brain will try to repress with extra symptoms.

I know what I'm talking about - I'm definitely far from my best right now, so I need to get off my rear and do some more journaling, and be a lot more mindful of my inner dialogue. Unfortunately, I'm more inclined to sit around eating holiday cookies and reading escapist novels (or, last weekend, get sucked into the Dr. Who marathon). Ack.

Good luck,

Jan

 

Hi Hamed.

I got well in spring/summer of '99. My main symptom was low back/sciatics (both legs)

That Christmastime I had a middle back spasm that lasted for about 4 or 5 days. Obviously I was 'prepared' by having dived into the Sarno work, but I wondered what triggered it? I was making excellent money, everything seemed fine at home and I didn't seem to have a care in the world.

Than I got a 'hint' or a 'clue' from Louise Hay's Catalogue. Middle back=GUILT. Oh.

I was working on a movie at the time. It was the first time since 1979 that I had NOT been running the xmas tree Lot I usually ran(20 years). The Owner who was closer to me than my own real mother was prodding me every day about "When are you going to wrap up this movie and be here at the tree lot?". The Movie paid better and was easier work. I had strong feelings of repressed Guilt about 'abandoning' my Mom. As soon as I realized this, the symptoms went away.

For many people the Holidays are a time bomb of 'shoulds' and 'ought to's' and moral imperatives.

...and whenever I have these symptoms I usually just get 'in state' and use my daily activities as therapy. Assuming you are versed in TMS therapy, read the reminders, set aside some time for reflection/prayer/meditation and blast on through. The good guys always win.

peace

 

Hamed,

TMS loves to wring out my thoracic spine. It's favourite plaything is T4. A wise man once told me to 'go the other way' when pain strikes and when my mid-back ails I look forwards to my heart.

Anger and Guilt are usually the villains of the piece.

Forgiveness is the healing balm.

This calls to mind a recent Rick Hanson newsletter in which he speaks of softening and opening the heart.

As ever his words are just the tonic:

http://www.rickhanson.net/lived-by-love/ (Lived By Love - Dr. Rick Hanson)

Plum

 

Dear Jan, Baseball65, and Plum,

Thank you all for the kind words and advice. It's so encouraging to have such a nice support group to depend on when down in the trenches of pain. The middle back is still bothersome (pain levels up and down depending on activity), but I'm just doubling down on the psychological thinking. You're all absolutely right, and Plum I actually heard from another very spiritual friend that mid-back pain is due to guilt/anger. I believe guilt and anger are the primary reasons for all of my TMS pain. I had a major family upheaval about five years ago around the time my daughter (first child) was born. Suffice it to say I have very little relationship left with my mother and none at all with my sister (as I type this, I feel muscles tensing uncomfortably) all due to conflict (i.e. tension) between them and my wife. Up until then I have always been a good son and brother. It's been very difficult for me to try and enjoy my life with my wife and kids and yet have no interaction with my mother and sister. Birthdays, holidays, etc., my family is absent while my wife's family gets full enjoyment with my kids. Before learning about TMS, I often wondered how much more of that I could take before having a nervous breakdown. Well, I did have the breakdown, only it manifested physically rather than psychologically, or so I thought at first. The anger/guilt/frustration has been building and building over the last five years, and now I'm in one type of pain or another and have been for the last year and a half. I fully admit that this is the source of my struggle, but I just don't know what to do to make the pain go away. The only thing left is patience. So that's what I'll do. Be patient and keep thinking psychological.

Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for your time and kind words.
-Hamed