Mantras for keeping a positive mindset without ignoring sad emotions

Hey all!

I suspect this comes up a lot but after initially very good progress on my TMS journey am having serious setbacks after breaking my toe nearly three weeks ago.

I haven't been able to exercise like I had been and I know this is underpinning the strong emotions I've been feeling the past couple weeks

I've been pushing myself a lot work-wise (I work alone and for myself) and I have gotten way better at self-compassion/addressing the inner bully. But breaking my toe has coincided with a pause in work momentum and a drop in adrenaline resulting in feelings of burnout and a need to be 'minded'.

Not being able to on power walks/walk-runs or do yoga has my mental health in a not great place and I'm experiencing a lot of physical pain at the moment. I've been letting myself feel my feelings as much as possible and practicing self-care in terms of going to the spa etc. but I also really need to get myself to a more positive mind space as I'm feeling quite isolated at the moment.

I'm single and live alone and though I have a lot of friends nobody was around this past weekend so I did the easiest thing and coped by eating/drinking/instagram cause the feelings of loneliness were too overwhelming. And of course am totally beating myself up about that!

I did end up seeing some friends yesterday and talked about it which was good and then ended up having a bath in my friends house (I have no bath which is something I need to remedy).. so went to bed feeling a bit better. But getting going with a positive outlook on the day is something I really need to do but obviously I don't want to be masking the other emotions I need to feel.

So any advice in terms of mantras or exercises to kick start the day with some positivity would be great.

Many thanks!

 

Setbacks are normal and expected part of the process. There is no cure for being human so sometimes we get pains. I'm glad to hear you are better at the self-compassion - that is the area that can be severely lacking for lots of us (it is an area which I am still working on myself).

Sometimes when our feelings are too overwhelming we need distractions. I remember a meditation teacher making it very clear that we open to what we can but it is wise to know the limits of our strength. I often flip between extremes, repression or overtly trying to feeling everything, so I find this advice helpful for when I've distracted myself and am in beat up mode. It takes the sting out of the inner bully.

As for exercises to bring positivity back:

• Visualisations are really powerful to shift into positivity and work well in the morning time. These can be a safe place, doing something you love, envisioning future success etc. -> the key here is that the intention behind these is joy rather than more mindbody work. There are 4 components to visualisation: positive and true words, connecting in the senses, connecting to positive emotions, and rich mental imagery
• Great affirmations that I like (key is that they feel true): I am already healed, I am safe, I am at peace, I can give myself compassion today etc. - smile, take a breath, and say a few of these each morning
• Smiling practice -> smiling releases chemicals in our brains and brings us positivity - try out gently smiling when you wake up, feel the breath, and then start the day
• Music -> truly listening to our favourite music brings so much joy - follow the rhythm, dance even if that is moving your arms, and let yourself enjoy it.

Key to all of these is acknowledging that you are feeling something but out of joy doing something to gently shift your state.

 

I use the voo technique to focus on the breath and stimulate the vagus nerve. It's very relaxing:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vNjeCN69cRk

 

Hi. Welcome.

Daily:
- fresh air, pending time outside;
- breathing exercises;
- exposure to sun in the morning;
- grounding/touching the soil/ground with your bare feet or hands;
- exercising/working out in your mind. You use the mind to imagine that you exercise;
- watching comedies;
- listening to music;
- reading good, meaningful books, interesting books;
- working on your hobbies;
- having a healthy fresh clean nutritional diet;
- less/no sugar or alcohol. It doesn't help to be honest...
- staying away from dramas, vulgarity, or sad depressed people. Spending time with fun happy people...if you can.

I hope these will help. Take care.

 

Hi, @Smemflynn,
If you look up chair exercises and chair yoga on YouTube— there’s a ton of things you can do sitting in a chair. It might give you a little boost with your exercise endorphins for now, while your toe is mending. Also, don’t drive yourself too hard at working. Take it from me, it’s a really good way to get some symptoms! Keep calling your friends. That’s the best medicine.

 

Pilates is another skill to learn that you might enjoy. I’ve broken my foot several times, and was always able to keep up with Pilates especially on a mat, and like @Diana-M mentions, chair assisted yoga. I found it fun to learn new skills.

 

Thank you so much everyone - lot's of really good advice there

One thing I've started doing in the past couple days is bookending the day by feeling into a moment of gratitude. I saw a suggestion online to use a little stone as a reminder to practice gratitude so I've been using a little crystal I picked up at the weekend when grabbing a pressie for a friend who is into crystal healing. While I don't really believe the crystals themselves do anything - I realized little pocket crystals and bracelets can be used as reminders to ourselves to check in on self-compassion, ease those negative thoughts and just on grounding in general. So I grabbed a couple of things for myself too to help with more regular check-ins. And the action of holding something during that moment of gratitude I think actually helps lean into it more. My mood had definitely picked up on the back of it though which is great.

But I now have suspected Covid so in true mindbody fashion all of the other pain I was feeling has gone away.

Visualisation exercises and actually putting together a vision board are also definitely something I need to do as I'm building my own business at the moment so switching my brain off of work is nigh on impossible. And having ADHD going 100 mph with hyperfocus is my natural inclination, so having a clear vision board might actually help me cool the jets somewhat and filter out the less 'urgent' tasks, mitigating against burnout situations.

Also I have never tried chair yoga (or pilates) so will definitely give that a go!

Many thanks everyone. Also just tried a few 'voo' exercises there.... feels good! : )

 

This is my first-thing-in-the-morning-when-I-wake-up-mantra that I repeat to myself to put me in the right frame of mind for the coming day...

Inhale:
I am the sea,
Exhale:
Not the debris.
Inhale:
Silent, steady, free.
Exhale
Inhale:
I am the sea...

It's based on the following from Kevin Martillo Viner's book 'THE MINDBODY SYNDROME (TMS): A Path to Recovery & Freedom':

"YOU ARE THE SEA

Many wise people have used the sea as an analogy for the true self (soul, spirit, essence, consciousness, etc. – same meaning, different words). It goes something like this: our true self is the vastness of the sea, whereas our bodies and what we call ‘our life’ are nothing more than temporary waves on the surface of the sea. This analogy can become a powerful worldview if we are able to fully integrate it because it frees us from so much unnecessary worry, drama, stress, and anxiety. With this perspective, life just doesn’t seem so darn serious anymore. This doesn’t mean that we give up, in fact, like much of this type of introspective work, it actually opens up an entirely new dimension for us, one in which we still function in the day-to-day stuff, but with much more joy and ease because we know it’s all just a wave. I’ll add to this analogy that sometimes waves collect debris and/or even garbage. I think I remember reading once that there’s an island of plastic the size of Texas floating out in the sea…wowza! And that makes sense because once debris is caught, it becomes easier for more to get trapped, piling up and up. In order to free itself, then, a wave must grow strong enough to disrupt and dislodge the built-up debris. If left unchecked, the accumulation can grow and grow until there’s a plastic island. I’ve come to view TMS and other obstacles in a similar fashion, i.e., like debris caught in the wave of life. TMS comes to us like a piece of floating garbage, gets trapped in our wave current, then accumulates more and more debris and garbage (fear, anxiety, negativity, etc.) until we grow strong enough to free ourselves, i.e., awaken. We must of course admit and accept that there’s even debris there in the first place before we can grow. But once we truly see and accept it, and have suffered enough, we’re ready to let it go. So perhaps the next time life presents you with a difficult situation, TMS or otherwise, remember that you are the sea and the situation is just debris (unintentional rhyme)."