(Sorry in advance for the novel, once I got started i couldn't stop) Hi, I wanted to kinda introduce myself and my struggle. In 2016 i observed that i had developed chronic pain which had suddenly just appeared in my back one day. Long story short, at the time I got an mri done and when it came back, there was next to no indication that I had anything structurally wrong with me and I've carried this pain with me ever since. I've gone through physical therapy, etc and I could get some temporary relief, but nothing lasting. (My back pain feels like my upper back muscles are in extremely tight knots, the muscles are almost always seized up, except when I first wake up) Cut to right present day, I've now got another form of chronic pain that seems to be ailing me. It appears to be atypical trigeminal neuralgia. My journey with diagnosing this condition has been ongoing and very slow. The pandemic has made getting in touch with a neurologist difficult, but i did get a ct scan back in January which came back negative of anything noteworthy. Since then my confidence in that scan has wavered, "what if the ct scan had missed something?" I'd think to myself. It's been truly frightening. I've scared myself to death over this subject over and over. The ATN pain came on around the beginning of January as a constant nagging pain above my left eyebrow. As it wore on, my anxiousness grew, and I've been misdiagnosed one after the other; headache, sinus infection, migraines, cluster headaches, etc. Well after some more panic attacks, it's gotten worse, (hard for me to tell if this was progressing on its own or from the stress) it's starting to spread to my teeth. This pain is also not partial to one spot, sometimes it's along the brow, the forehead, the teeth, the top of my cranium. Also, I've got this sound that eminates from what seems to be focalized on the left side of the forehead that sounds kinda like carbonated beverage or otherwise a powerline on a rainy day (at its most intense, it's a kinda buzzing sound). These sounds scare me to death to this day. Sometimes it will stir me awake at night and keep me up till dawn. I recently was put onto the idea of tms theory and was intrigued, the chronic back pain part seems highly relatable. But the ATN part has been a subject of scrutiny (in my mind). I want more than anything to believe that both of my ailments are related to tms. I'm a highly anxious person and have sufferred many panic attacks over the years. I'm critical to myself and doubtful to myself. I spend a lot of time thinking about either "what's happened", or "what might happen", and rarely about "what's happening currently". You could definitely consider me a chronic worrier. But I'm stuck in this spot where I don't know if I can believe my ATN is in fact tms until I meet a neurologist and probably not until i can get an mri. One of my reoccurring angsts is the idea that I have a tumor inside me causing all of this and it's such a hard thought to shake, especially when i put no faith in my ct scan. It could take months until i get an mri. But I'm desperately looking for affimation that i am in fact safe from true harm, and that i can put my all into tms treatment and work on my mental health. I have noticed that my ATN flares up most often when I'm under a lot of stress. I absolutely have an overactive nervous system because I've literally driven myself to feel sick many many times in the past (and now). I would like to get over my back pain too, but at this moment the thought of a life with a condition as severely painful as ATN is so absolutely horrifying to me. Any insight would be appreciated. Really, I think I'm set on still meeting with a neurologist, etc. But i also don't want to continually catastrophize over and over until i get some sort of final confirmation. I just recently started therapy, and my therapist definitely sees my overactive nervous system as a problem keeping me from happiness and wants to work with me to reduce it's negative impact on my life (since it's being so high alert all the time) Sidebar, i have browsed this forum and sought other sources for information on tms. Meditations have indeed been very helpful to me. I find i talk to myself with a pessimistic voice all the time and need to work on that. As i said earlier, i want to be able to fully commit to the idea that my pain is 100% tms, but i wanted an opinion on whether I'm making that call too early until i see the neurologist. (Which feels like forever from now) It feels like my hesitancy is holding me back from freedom. Thank you, Joe P.s. Coincidentally, both my back knots and ATN pain are on my left side. Wonder if thats at all meaningful.