After reading quite a bit of material, I want to change my username because I feel like it reinforces the fear of the pain. Is there a way I can do that? I tried yesterday but couldn't seem to find a way. I guess I might just have to delete this profile and create new one. I am trying to be more aware of when I'm resisting the pain, and other things like tools that I've learned to help question my thoughts. I did the journal exercise today and wrote an unsent letter to my 19 year old daughter. I love her dearly but she can really get my emotions going. I feel so many different emotions toward her but I repress them because I want to remain calm and less reactive than she is. I also did the Question to Ponder which was "Think of a person in your life from whom you hide your emotions. What is preventing you from telling this person how you feel?" The answer was my husband. What prevents me from sharing my emotions with him is that I'm afraid he will judge me, or feel like it's his fault, or that he will get fed up with me (which I think he already is because he ask me every day how I'm feeling) and leave me.