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I Linger at 90%

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Susan1111, Mar 28, 2016.

  1. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    I'm feeling frustrated! No matter what I do TMS lingers. Not in pain, BUT tension in my neck and an occasional grip in my upper trapezoid. Therapy, journalling, 4-7-8 breathing, exercise and yet it lingers. 90% isn't good enough...I've settled for less than I should have in the past and settling isn't an option...not in the being hard on myself way or perfection way just in the I'd like to forget I have a neck/ trapezoid way!
    I needed to say this/ vent this...thanks for reading.
  2. Yulia1975

    Yulia1975 Peer Supporter

    Hugs Susan!!!

    Just think how many years you have this tension...Its hard to believe it may disappear so quick.
    Thats how I started to think these days, just allowing myself to be patient, but there are days I want to scream very loud -ENOUGH....
    Have you tried
    Jacobsons Progressive muscle relaxation method?
  3. yb44

    yb44 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I can relate and was feeling pretty much the same about my own stiff neck/migraine issue at one stage.

    The only thing that's helped me is practising outcome independence. I just don't give a damn anymore whether I have this symptom or another. I can't say it isn't hard to let it all go, but you can achieve this gradually.

    What do you mean when you say you've settled for less than you should have? I'm always curious when I see the word 'should'.
  4. Ryan

    Ryan Well known member

    I fell ya Susan, I had the same pain in the exact area. Mine is gone now, so don't lose hope.

    As the great doctor said, as long as you are preoccupied with the body the symptoms will persists. Its hard to teach a tmser to let go, just let the days go by and live life. Your so focused on your pain and monitoring it, that is exactly what tms beasts wants you to do.

    Tms is so simple yet we make it so complex out of fear. We move from one obsession to another, sometimes we have to be our own fools til we learn, i was my own fool. We think effort and performance is what defines us, when inside its not true. Take your time and accept where your at, try doing nothing. Where you are at in life and where you think you should be, there is your tension. Wishing you best of luck, truth is waiting to be known. We are what we believe.

    karly_mac and Susan1111 like this.
  5. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've had that area for TMS a few times and it's gone away. Do something you enjoy with it and maybe it will melt away in 5-20 minutes once you get the endorphins and the synovial fluid in the joint flowing. 90% is still an "A", shooting for 100% is a TMS perfectionist trait which gives us our TMS. The Indians used to leave imperfections in their crafts to let the evil spirits out.
    Susan1111 and Forest like this.
  6. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Just when I thought I wasn't being hard on myself, indeed I am!

    Yes @Ryan you hit the nail on the head "Where you are at in life and where you think you should be, there is your tension."

    Thanks @Tennis Tom for the A and reminding me about perfectionism! I love the spirit of the Indian...something to keep in mind.

    @yb44 there is no 'should' thank you for the reminder.

    @Yulia1975 hugs back to you. I'm not familiar with Progressive Muscle Relaxation... What struck me when I started reading about it they tell you to relax, well if I could I would!!

    I'm so glad I posted today as all your comments have helped me to take another look at myself and my thought process.
    Thank you!
    Warmly, Susan
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2016
    Tennis Tom, David88 and MWsunin12 like this.
  7. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Susan,

    Great conversation! When I get symptoms, I just say "I know I am prone to TMS. So what?" By meeting it directly, matter-of -factly this seems to undercut it beautifully.

    Another thing that helped me when I was perhaps about 2 months into a great recovery was to just do some simple Sarno practices like read the 12 Reminders, and stop there. I felt that just getting on with my life sent a very deep message. And the 12 Reminders weren't about fixing anything so much as like taking a daily "vitamin." I just took a very light approach.

    Andy B
  8. David88

    David88 Well known member

    Hi Susan,

    Great post! I'm there too -- about 80% healed. Maybe that last little bit is the hardest.

    Here's what I'm trying. Instead of raging against the pain, I listen to it. I think of it as a message from my unconscious, telling me what I need to do next. It usually means I need to speak up about something, or face a fear, or let go of something.

  9. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Hi @David88 I'm with you on those messages...I believe my inner critic isn't finished with me yet!!! It leads me to journal..this morning prior to posting this thread I dug deeper!!
    I think there is some good advise that's been given for that last mile.

    @Andy B it's been quite some time since I've read the 12 reminders thanks for the reminder!

    Warmly Susan
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2016
    David88 likes this.
  10. Yulia1975

    Yulia1975 Peer Supporter

    Many of you have mentioned that you had a same problem like Susan and its gone by now.
    How long it took you to win the battle?
    Any tips , suggestions are always appreciated.
  11. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Yulia btw you are right it's been a lifetime in the making it will take time...
    I'm sure time is different for everyone and that's the importance of Outcome Independence!
  12. balto

    balto Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Susan, you may want to investigate a little on conditioned pain. I got rid of 80 ,90% of my pain by refuse to fear my symptoms any more (which I think is similar to outcome independent). but the last 10, 20% were mostly conditioning that I had to work on before I got to a complete cure.
    karly_mac likes this.
  13. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Hi Balto conditioned pain sounds like my neck tension! I will investigate further.
    Thank you for the insight!
  14. Simplicity

    Simplicity Guest

    @Susan1111, I'm the same. I would say that I'm about 80% recovered from my TMS-symptoms and what's left is tension in my neck/jaw. I think there's excellent advice in this thread about this, so thanks for posting about it.

    You're doing great, don't forget that!
    Susan1111 likes this.
  15. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    @Simplicity I'm so glad I posted about this as yes there is great advise! And don't forget how great you're doing as well!

    @balto i Googled conditioned pain and although I see it as something that is researched I'm not finding a technique or way to deal with it. Can you lead us to further information.
    Much thanks!
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2016
    Simplicity likes this.
  16. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I was stuck at 90% for a long time, but recovered completely now. I began to realize that holding tension in my body, especially my neck and shoulders, was a habitual behavior pattern. I had been doing it for so long that I wasn't even aware of it until I began tuning more into my body. Then, whenever I noticed the tension I would intentionally tell myself to relax and let go, along with a deep breath. After awhile the tension stopped occurring, though sometimes it will still come back. But it isn't an ingrained habit anymore. I guess this could be described as conditioning, as well. Yoga has helped me with tuning into my body more.
    Susan1111 likes this.
  17. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    @Ellen much like you describe it is habitual for me to hold tension in my neck and shoulders. A lifetime... Being aware of it has been helpful to me as well..breathing and letting go. I've been teaching Pilates for the past 6 years and as my own practice grows so does tuning into my body.
    Your complete recovery with similar symptoms is very encouraging to me.
    Thank you for taking the time to share your experience.

    Warmly, Susan
  18. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    Funny, but I can remember telling people years ago that there were two spots where my body "stored" stress. Those two areas were where TMS pain lingered even after I read Sarno.
    On my second bout with TMS, I had a great deal of trouble banishing headaches. I live in an area where allergies are rampant, and I wasn't convinced they were TMS related. Then one day my dr said they sounded less like migraines than tension headaches! Light bulb! My first thought was, "I can deal with tension!" Now they're gone.
    Be patient Susan. You'll discover the key--I'm sure of it!
    Susan1111 and Tennis Tom like this.
  19. Susan1111

    Susan1111 Well known member

    Ahhh patience!! Thank you for the vote of confidence, very appreciated..
    Gigi glad you're doing well.
  20. David88

    David88 Well known member

    Though I've improved greatly, I still have trouble sitting without pain in some circumstances. Restaurant seating, for one, is never comfortable. And those little metal folding chairs that you find at some events are awful.

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