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I am a young man suffering from severe IBS-D, need help.

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Hillel Paley, Aug 1, 2023.

  1. Hillel Paley

    Hillel Paley Newcomer

    Hello everyone.
    My name is Hillel, I am a 23-year-old from Jerusalem, Israel.

    I've had TMS (back pain) for 7 years severely (can't stand, sit or lie down, basically disabled), and I've had IBS-D pretty much all my life, but recently because of the hard work I'm doing to heal the TMS , I understood how the mechanism of IBS works. And since then - my life has become absolute hell.

    Every time I leave the house, every time. time. I get anxious - what will happen if I suddenly have diarrhea? It's excruciating pain! You can't hold it in! I stopped going places. I stopped going out with friends. I only travel in my own car, and only by myself. I have a tent in my car to disguise myself, bags, and wipes, and it has happened to me several times that the fear of this happening was so strong that I had to relieve myself in the car in the middle of the road. It's terrible. I can't go out on dates. I can't go out with friends. I Hardly manage to leave the house. And really? I'm pretty much hopeless.

    I deeply understand the mechanism of TMS. I have been working on curing it with a qualified doctor for 6 months. And there are improvements. But because the only reason I suddenly have stomach pains and have to have diarrhea when I'm outside the house is because of the fear of: "What if this happens now? How will I manage?" And this fear comes every time I don't have a bathroom next to me. The situation is only getting worse and worse and worse. I am hopeless.

    If there is anyone in the audience who has suffered from IBS like me, which has disrupted their life like I have, and has been able to recover from it, I would really, really love to hear from you and talk to you about it.
  2. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hey @Hillel Paley
    Hang in there!!! You are so lucky to have a TMS Dr. in Israel, this is good news you are working with them. They understand your struggles. Please trust the process. It’s hard, it can take time.
    I do not have your symptoms, but with TMS all symptoms are equal. My back pain makes it impossible to be social right now, and I recently noticed social anxiety.
    Count your blessings with your improvements and work with your Dr. on finding ways to learn and deal with the social anxiety in a context that allows you to. Eg. Invite a friend to your home. You will be near your facilities, in a sped space (I hope), and can work on your tms skills in the moment. Do you have a friend you can partially explain your situation to! I am currently suffering from IBS and need to be near my “facilities” but I really want to connect with my friends. It might seem strange but hoping you can overlook it and let’s hang out. Don’t talk anymore about your situation, or your tms.
    Even this will be a challenge for you, but it’s graded exposure. It may be embarrassing, you may feel very rough for some days afterwards. That’s ok because it is a victory! You can journal (if you do) about the emotions it brings up.
    Maybe in a few weeks you can do it again with family or a friend who you can trust to accept this “for now”. You can also slowly begin to incorporate eg. More time with the visit. Try drinking water during the visit or incorporating activities ( if you play music or watch sports together or whatever you do that is part (or was part) of your joy.
    This is only an example. Talk to your Dr. about graded exposure and being creative.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  3. Hillel Paley

    Hillel Paley Newcomer

    Thank you for that!
    It helps.

    I think of what you said more like:
    1. Accept that this is the situation right now.
    2. This doesn't mean it will always be like this. When it's TMS and your working on it right and with patient, you'll get out if it. Even if you can't understand it now. Trust the process.
    3. Share it simply with you close circles (freinds, family, co-workers)
    4. Gradually. Very gradually. Return to normal activity.

    It made me feel better. Yes.

    Thank you!
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2023
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  4. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    @Hillel Paley

    And do it all with Patience, kindness and understanding with yourself.
    Knowing that you are not a victim (even though it can feel like it some days, and that’s ok -just don’t get stuck there).
    Give yourself credit for improvements: not necessarily physically: improvements in thoughts, facing fears, mindset/attitude, for the way you are learning to treat yourself etc.

    The book Hope And Help For Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes is a book recommended for dealing with anxiety. It is old fashioned but it works, the techniques use your mind.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.

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