How we have our TMS is why we have our TMS

Forest, thank you so much for doing this interview and posting it. I watched it last week when you posted it to Facebook, and one of my favorite things that he says is that (I hope I have this right) TMS will be with you as long as it needs to be with you. Which I suppose is another way of saying, everything is happening as it should. Trying to "force" your symptoms to leave is only going to make them stay, I guess. I also liked his attitude that you should take what you need and leave the rest (in terms of treatment). Really one of the most helpful interviews about TMS that I've seen.

 

I watched this last night. I thought I would just catch a bit of it but was compelled to watch the whole interview. There are lots of great take-aways. I like the discussion at the end about change and how we mustn't assume or expect that by making changes it will automatically relieve our symptoms. I needed to hear this as I embark on a shift in my career. I also like the part about journalling when Andrew talks about how some people expect their symptoms to disappear once they have released their emotions onto the page. I had some sessions with a therapist who tried to encourage me to journal. I did a bit but I am such a stubborn procrastinator. What I was hearing was that if I journaled at night before bed, I wouldn't wake up with as much pain. That may not have been what this person had said or intimated, but that's what I heard. I felt guilty for not doing enough journaling and if I was in pain it was my own darn fault. I'm glad Andrew made a point of saying that we can journal if you want to but don't have any major expectations about it being a cure-all. Thank you, Forest and Andrew!

 

Forest, you're out of the country, but still in touch with us thanks to your many helpful posts.
I found this one from last May and thought it a good one to repost.

I got angry today when my boss laid more work on me when I thought he was premature in asking for it.
But I bit the bullet and did the research he asked for and found that it actually was a good thing to do now.
It wasn't easy for me to admit that what he asked me to do was worth doing.

He's still a hard boss to deal with, but I'm learning not to let him drive me into a rage and TMS pain.

You folks reading probably have your own boss problems. Why are so many bosses so hard to work for?
I'm thinking they have their own pain from those they have to please. Maybe it's not their boss but their
wife or sibling or just trying to please themselves, bless the perfectionists!

 

Forest, I enjoyed this interview as well. I'm going to try the technique of writing a letter to my TMS, as this seems like it could be very useful.

As always, thanks for all you do....

 

I learned more from the Andrew Miller interview, too.

Writing a letter to your TMS can be a lot less stressful than talking to or yelling at it.

And by not sending it, you save a postage stamp.

 

I have found journaling not just good for releasing emotions, but also for discovering them. As discussed in your interview, I also suffer from alexithymia (difficulty recognizing one's emotions). Before learning about TMS and beginning to practice journaling, I didn't think I was an angry person. I felt Sarno's assertion that repressed rage is the primary emotion behind TMS didn't apply to me, that in my case it must be due to other types of repressed emotions. Through journaling I have now come to understand that I do, indeed, have a great deal of anger, and yes, even rage within me. Recognizing and accepting this has played a huge role in my healing.

I have followed the debate on this forum about whether or not one must engage in "psycho-archaeology" in order to recover from TMS. For me it appears to be necessary, as much as I dislike it. I did make some dramatic progress initially from psycho-education, but plateaued and felt stuck for awhile. I believe this was due to alexithymia. While I could understand TMS conceptually as due to repressed emotions, to move forward I needed to know specifically what these emotions were and to understand the context of how the repression started. I've been pleasantly surprised at how much journaling has helped with this. It is helping me to actually identify, feel, and accept my emotions in the moment. I hope to eventually be able to stop the journaling as I get better at recognizing my emotions in real time.

 

I love this quote. I spent so many years in a perfectionistic crusade against my symptoms. I find this really hilarious.

 

Walt- thanks for bumping this up
Forest and Andrew- great interview thanks so much!

 

This is a superb point. I'm going to make a cup of tea and muse on this because these words essentially nail the whole tms thing.

 

I've been thinking lately that it may be useful to amend the TMS rule of "think psychologically, not physically" to "think psychologically, not physically or environmentally".

I'm still tempted at times to blame my symptoms on external stress, the weather, pollen, pollution, something I ate, something I didn't eat....well, just about anything I can come up with to avoid looking at my emotions.

 

Ellen, that would be me too.
I'm beginning to think I'm as daft as a brush.

 

Me too Ellen. It's really a kind of victim thinking for me. Like there are things out there that can get me without it having anything to do with me. I'm coming to believe it all has to do with me, and how/what I am thinking and feeling.

 

I'm really not sure how this happened but once I started accepting/allowing my emotions rather than running away from them, my overall anxiety lessened. I really don't understand the connection between emotions and anxiety but it was certainly there for me.

Also, I can't help but notice than I tend to run away from pain instead of accepting and exploring it. Pain is part of life, both physical and emotional. When we try to deny it, we suffer even more.

 

I've found this to be true also. I'm beginning to understand that anxiety is a form of TMS. Like pain its purpose is to distract us from our underlying emotions by worrying about the future. Once we're willing to feel our emotions in the present, the anxiety dissipates.

 

For me, anxiety is a whole new ballgame of TMS. I've dealt with it for years and have it pretty much under control.

What helps for me is putting into perspective whatever makes me anxious.
It often can be making a mountain out of a molehill or catastrophizing, thinking the worst will happen when it really seldom does. Worrying about the future is one of the worst things. It's just not worth it, but hard not to let it build up.

Living in the present is the answer, but that's not always so easy to do.

Dr. Sarno writes about anxiety and TMS quite a bit in Healing Back Pain.

He says he discusses anger and anxiety together because he thinks they are closely related and are the primary repressed feelings behind TMS.

"Anxiety is a uniquely human phenomenon," he writes on page 37, "closely related to to fear,
but much more sophisticated, for it is rooted in a capacity animals do not possess... the ability
to anticipate.

"Anxiety arises in response to the perception of danger and is logical unless the perception is illogical, as is often the case. The anxious person tends to anticipate danger, often where there is little or none. This is the nature of the human animal. However, he or she is often not aware of this anxiety, for it is generated in the unconscious out of feelings that are largely unconscious and kept in the unconscious through the well-known mechanism of repression. Because of the unpleasant , embarrassing, often painful nature of these feelings and the anxiety they generate, there is a strong need to keep them out of consciousness, which is the purpose of repression. The purpose of TMS is to assist in the process of repression."

This all may just be preaching to the choir since those of us who understand TMS know this,
but it's worth thinking about again.

 

Welcome home, Forest. Good to see your post this morning.

I know I have anxiety when I get a headache. Like this morning. But it's 96 degrees outside and the highest pollution in 5 years,
so that probably explains the headache. I took an Advil, something I almost never do, not even an Aspirin, and sat with my eyes closed and just meditated and the headache is going away.

I also had a phone call from a creditor that gave me anger, so that contributed. I can't pay them until my boss pays me.

I also had an email from an old college friend who said one of our gang on our college newspaper died. That didn't help, either.

So the reasons for anxiety can be many. The trick is to breathe deeply, meditate, and know that "this too shall pass."