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How did you keep motivated when TMS didn't seem to be working?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Misha, Dec 1, 2015.

  1. Misha

    Misha Peer Supporter

    How did you keep motivated when TMS didn't seem to be working?

    I am feeling disheartened that I seem to be getting worse, despite doing so much TMS work and following the program, with my symptoms getting more intense and spreading (in the same area (pelvic pain) not new symptoms like I read about with symptom imperative).

    I've read about symptoms worsening but I thought that was only for a few days? It's been several weeks and I am finding my enthusiasm and belief in TMS is diminishing and I'm getting worn down because I haven't made progress and have gone in the wrong direction! I'm feeling quite defeated, largely in part from asking my husband to read The Mindbody Prescription. He told me he saw 'some sense' in it but now that I am worsening he keeps wanting to make me appointments with new drs which makes me keep pondering a 'structural' problem. (Nothing significant could be found to be wrong but several gynolcologists told me "...we often don't pinpoint the exact problem - which doesn't mean that nothing is wrong... just nothing dangerous or that could explain your pain..." very helpful!).

    So for the people who took a long time to heal, how did you keep the belief and motivation?
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Sara,
    I understand your discouragement. My TMS story is different than yours, but wanted to say that it is very easy to linger and return to the physical explanation for pain. Especially with husband and physicians supporting your doubts about the Sarno approach. Mostly though, I suppose it is the lack of progress you are experiencing. All this is stacked against you in this moment.

    I encourage you to witness the doubts and pain, and proceed with Dr. Sarno's approach. Try to continue to be steadfast, and also, if you can, gently feel your discouragement. That is OK too. It is natural.

    I don't know if you saw this post, but she puts her recovery at close to a year, and very difficult.


    Andy B.
    Misha likes this.
  3. Misha

    Misha Peer Supporter

    Hi Andy,
    Thanks for your reply and the link. It's always encouraging to read a success story. I know I have a lot of work to do, I just wish I had some (even very small) results to propel me on :)
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Sara,

    I would give yourself a couple of months of doing consistent work on your own, and if you don't make progress, seek Coaching, like I do, or psychotherapy. Each person needs support in different ways and at different times. I would go this extra step before quitting the Sarno approach.

    The other piece, and I am not sure you have done this, is consult with a Sarno trained physician. Get on a plane if need be. Your health and happiness is worth it.

    I have seen many people come to this forum, and leave without much progress, and I think it is because they don't do one or both of these two extra parts, after they find the "one or two months" Dr. Sarno recommended does not work. Some people read a book, and they are done. Each person takes their own time and needs to follow their own path. Don't give up.

    I hope others will jump in here and talk about a long term process and give you some feedback.

    Misha likes this.
  5. Samwise

    Samwise New Member

    Hello Sara, don't get discouraged by the lack of progress with your pelvic pain. I had horrible pelvic pain for several years and saw a myriad of doctors during that time as well. No one was able to find an answer for the excruciating pain, and one doctor simply told me I was SOL. So I thought I was doomed with this pain for the rest of my life, but fortunately one doctor came along and told me to calm down. She said its merely muscle tension in the pelvis manifesting itself from the tremendous amount of stress I was in. But even recognizing that it was stress related did not make it go away. It actually took me several months to get to the point where I noticed any progress, and the reason I started seeing progress was because I simply stopped resisting the pain. I noticed I was constantly waking up everyday and constantly checking my pain levels to see if I had made any progress, and at that point I knew I had to change my outlook on this pelvic pain. So rather than living my life based on what my pain would let me do, I decided to live my life based on what I wanted to do with full confidence that it is TMS. Over time, I noticed that as I started doing more fun things every day, my preoccupation with my pelvic pain decreased, and soon, the pelvic pain just disappeared. Basically, when it got to the point where I just didn't let it have power over me anymore, that is when the healing started for me. If I'm constantly monitoring my progress, then that indicates that I'm still living in fear of my pain, and as a result of that fear, healing will not occur.
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  6. Misha

    Misha Peer Supporter

    Hi Samwise, thanks for your message. It's always encouraging to hear from someone who had similar symptoms (although I know that doesn't really matter as it's all TMS). Your advice is really good - I'm doing so many of the things you were too and need to stop resisting and trying so hard to 'fix' myself.
    Thanks again,
    P.S. What is SOL?
  7. Samwise

    Samwise New Member

    SOL means Shi$ out of luck. Pretty harsh thing for a doctor to say huh.
  8. Misha

    Misha Peer Supporter

    Oh, wow. Horrid thing for a doctor to say :( And arrogant too - just because s/he didn't have a solution, doesn't mean there isn't one.
  9. Simplicity

    Simplicity Guest

    Great insight, Samwise.
  10. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    ..."nothing dangerous"!!! That's HUGE!!! There's your tip-off that it's TMS. Why do you need more then that? Doc's are good at dx'ing the "serious"-- if they don't it's malpractice time and they know it. That's one of the causes for high medicine costs--over testing. Be thankful they DIDN'T find anything serious, most here would love that, including me!

    Some people here have taken 15-20 years to heal from TMS. You haven't been at it very long--"several weeks" is nothing in TMS time. It took your un-conscious years to develop your TMS personality--maybe, since the womb if you believe in the Mozart effect. You are suffering from the TMS CALENDARING EFFECT-watching the clock--a watched wound never heals--TMS distraction at work. TMS goes away overnight when the un-C is processing the KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN--sleep on it.

    It's normal that mates don't help the problem and aren't on-board with TMS--that's usually the source of the problem, our loved ones--they helped install the TMS buttons.

    Last edited: Dec 3, 2015
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  11. Mrs Dependable

    Mrs Dependable Peer Supporter

    Sara my heart goes out to you, using dr sarno's method my neck pain that had been my constant companion for years has gone. However it's been replaced with tinnitus that nearly drives me crazy. Keep on with the work and keep us posted.
    Misha likes this.
  12. balto

    balto Beloved Grand Eagle

    No fear, no pain. That's all there is to it.
    All "expert" try to convince us not to focus on our symptoms, meaning not to fear our symptoms.
    Misha likes this.
  13. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Mrs Dependable. Tinnitus is another symptom caused by TMS emotions, and is very common. Mine was loud for a while but has gradually been almost silent. I only hear it when I pay attention to it.

    Balto and Samwise give great advice to everyone.
  14. Mrs Dependable

    Mrs Dependable Peer Supporter

    Yes advice is spot on, takes practice though. Thanks Walt :)
  15. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Actually it's easier then that--or harder--depending on how hardheaded the un-C is. "Practice" is not needed, just accepting and believing Dr. Sarno's TMS theory, that psychosomatic dis-eases originate in the mind and can be "cured" by that same mind--changing one's mindset so to speak.

    Are you familiar with Dr. Sarno's "12 Daily Reminders"? Focusing on those mantras would be a good thing to practice.

    Misha likes this.
  16. Mrs Dependable

    Mrs Dependable Peer Supporter

    Yes I sort of get it, I have seen the daily reminders but it's anxiety and tinnitus, so I believe tinnitus causes anxiety but maybe it's the other way around? Either way it's wild bad and I feel for you Sara.
  17. Samwise

    Samwise New Member

    Hi Mrs. Dependable, I know exactly how you feel about the tinnitus. I have that and hyperacusis at the moment and it started up a few months ago after I had watched a loud movie in my class. But it was also the day that most of my pain had subsided for the first time in a long time, so there is a bit of a debate going on within my mind as to whether it's the symptom imperative at work or if it is sound induced. These ear symptoms really bothered me for the first few months, but I just hit a point where I just got burned out from all the constant worrying about my progress. Sure the tinnitus can get pretty annoying, but when I'm out having fun I honestly don't even notice it, and I'm pretty much at the point to where it doesn't even phase me anymore. I recognize it's there and I just go on with my life. I figured what's the point in stressing out about it if the stress just makes the intensity of the sound worse. If your tinnitus was not induced by any loud noise, I'm positive it's another TMS manifestation. If that's the case, then you need to end that fear of the tinnitus. I know it is easier said then done when it comes to this, but that is what it takes. Accept that it's there and move on with your life and live it as happily as possible. And in case you had any doubt as to whether anxiety can cause tinnitus, I assure it most certainly can.
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