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Handling Stressful Jobs and Life Changes

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by JDev1, Sep 10, 2020.

  1. JDev1

    JDev1 New Member

    Hey all,

    I've been 100% pain free from my TMS symptoms for quite awhile...yay!
    Here's the thing, I'm relatively young and I never viewed my life as stressful, but I made it stressful.

    My fear is that as I get older, I'm noticing life stressors that I can avoid, but I don't want to. For example I'll be getting married soon and I love this person, but I can sense my id getting angry over losing my freedom. I feel the same way when we talk about having a kid and buying a house, all exciting but stressful life changing stuff.

    I'm also considering a much needed career change, but some of my options will be full of stressful situations or sad ones.

    My question is, how do you deal with these situations without having the TMS pains return?
    I know there are doctors, EMTs, therapists, etc who have to deal with traumatizing things daily, but these people also heal from TMS. What do you think it takes to handle those kinds of stressful jobs or life changes regularly and not fall back into having symptoms?

    I feel avoiding them will leave me unfulfilled and is also a form of TMS, but just the thought of doing something different worries me.

    Thanks in advance!
  2. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    Your last sentence summed it up. You can't worry about TMS returning, because when you do that it just becomes a TMS equivalent either in the form of anxiety or a self fulfilling prophecy of physical symptoms and pain etc. One cannot live life fully without taking risks, leaps of faith and suffering. That is life and the more you accept life and being human, the less you will suffer essentially. The mindset you need to have is "even if tms were to return in some form, I'm not going to worry about it because if it comes back I know exactly what to do.". As you know, all the feelings you are having about this new chapter of your life are normal and you have to allow yourself to feel the good the bad, the fear etc. without judgment. Your other option would be to live in the woods as a hermit...just kidding! You can't avoid or control life. As humans we are meant to experience the whole range of emotions, otherwise we would just be robots and never experience joy or sadness or failure or triumph or gratitude or anything that helps us grow and connect with other humans in relationships. The meaning of life ultimately is love and one can't experience it without suffering loss as well. All you can do is accept the present moment and live the present moment. Everything else is just a waste of time if you think about it....regretting the past or worrying about the future. It's so pointless. Life happens. Stress happens. Tragedy happens. Trauma happens. No one gets out of here with no scars lol so you may as well enjoy the moment. If TMS comes back (and it probably will because the brain can fall back into old habits sometimes) you won't fall apart because you will know "oh it's just TMS!" . It will be temporary, like out thoughts, our emotions and everything else in life. "This too shall pass"...
    Colly, JDev1, HattieNC and 1 other person like this.
  3. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    Words of wisdom from miffybunny !!!!
    Blessings !
    miffybunny likes this.
  4. JDev1

    JDev1 New Member

    Wow, I feel like this is exactly what I needed to hear! I'm going to print this out and reread it a few times cause it's actually quite motivating haha

    Thank you for taking the time to reply! I think this is something a lot of people on hear could benefit from reading cause I think many of us who recover or have a few good days fear the pain returning.
    miffybunny, Colly and Kellso like this.
  5. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    The mind-body connection (TMS) is part of life for every living human being and unavoidable. When you’re in a place where you can manage your overall emotions and boundaries, with the understanding that it’s completely normal and expected to feel negative emotions at times, and you’ve got activities you look forward to, you’ll be okay.

    I’ve been very transparent about the fact that I have moments where symptoms pop up - sometimes new, sometimes old - even after successfully healing from a nightmare experience. However, the symptoms are far more mild and dissipate very quickly because my approach to mental health has dramatically improved, allowing me to avoid constant fight-or-flight mode. We’re all going to develop a headache or a stomachache one day when we’re upset - it’s normal.

    As I’m spending more time at home in 2020, I’ve recently been watching my favorite basketball games from childhood (hence the icon). I was too young to remember Scottie Pippen developing a major migraine and having to sit out an important game against the Pistons. It’s obvious this was the mind-body connection. I also believe his “stiff back” in 1998 while playing against the Jazz was a mind-body symptom. And this is one of the chillest, most talented people I’ve ever had the privilege of seeing play in person throughout my childhood. It happens. He got back on his feet and did incredible things, including his major role in the Bulls winning six NBA championships. Fearing it only denies us of our humanity and makes it stick around.

    I once told my cognitive behavioral therapist that exposure therapy failed for me in the past because it simply showed me that getting stuck in an elevator was unlikely, but could still happen. What would I do if it were to happen? He told me the point of exposure therapy is to show you that you’ll be fine even if you DO get stuck in an elevator and feel uncomfortable. That applies to so many things and changed my life.
    miffybunny likes this.

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