Had two pretty good days and now feel like a basketcase!

After reading Alan's paper on Why am I still having pain? (or something like that), I realized how focused I can be on the pain and whether its better than yesterday or what is happening as I'm sitting - all major distractions. Today is my birthday and my 28 year old daughter texted me (after I asked my husband to prompt her) - I got really emotional about that and let her in a little on how I've been dealing with chronic pain through looking at repressed emotions. She was supportive and willing to help if needed, which is great, right? But what's funny - is that what I really wanted (but didn't get) was just a heart emoji.. and I can feel the tears right now welling up. I feel like I'm a basketcase and I really haven't been this emotional in YEARS!!! But the good news is that I'm sitting in my chair and less focused on how my body is feeling. I feel like it's working but that there is a lot of kick back as I begin to make progress.

 

I completely understand. My girls understand the mind body connection, but my son has a very hard time with it. The one and only time I told him about TMS, he totally dismissed it and kept telling me that there was something physically wrong. Of course, that didn't help and made me regress. At least you do have support from your daughter, but sometimes we want them to know we just want love and acceptance. It's hard for people who do not have chronic pain to understand just what it's like; and when we find a far out solution, that doesn't involve surgery or meds or procedures, some people don't know how to accept that. Also, my therapist warned me that emotional work is emotional, and I'm going to cry more and rage more than I ever have, and that will up the pain temporarily, but it's absolutely necessary for me to heal. Embrace the emotions, don't repress them.

Happy Birthday!! And try to enjoy being in the now!!

 

Jules! Thank so much for your reply! It is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster!