Do you work on a trauma after you experienced it or let it go whenever possible

When experiencing a bad experience that will - especially due to the lack of support in this society - turn into a trauma, is it better to write it down or do the very opposite of not focusing on it at all, letting it go whenever it crosses the mind. Latter approach avoids many connections in the brain to form so you don't think in every other place about some drama.

When writing it down, looking at it, what are the right questions to ask for the experience to be useful in my future life instead of having to catch myself in regret.

 

I am in favor of letting it go and moving on.

If this is too hard, then do what helps you feel better. In my case, after sudden loss of my dad, a lot of unrxpeted anger came up. I thought I had resolved them but I guess not completely.

I met with a grief counselor. He helped me realize there was more I needed to let go of and once I did, I felt much better.

 

Good to see you back. I do not fully approve with Fred (sorry Fred, but maybe I misunderstand what you mean with 'letting go' ) . I feel journalling is a very important tool in dealing with trauma.

http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/How_do_I_journal%3F (How do I journal?)

There are many other valuable links about journalling on the TMSWiki, use them to get an idea about how to do it and how it can help you.

take care!

 

When writing it down, looking at it, what are the right questions to ask for the experience to be useful in my future life instead of having to catch myself in regret.

 

There is no one-size-fits-all way of journalling, but I think one thing stands out: "How does the thing that I am writing about makes me feel?"
I think that is the most important question in journalling. When you confront yourself with a situation, experience or person by writing about it, you are basically investigating the emotions that are connected to them. Repression of these emotions is what puts your mind in a state of anxiety and what holds you back from feeling better, so what you try to establish is acceptance of those emotions. If you accept them, the brain will learn to no longer fear those emotions. How is that done? Maybe by crying your eyes out, maybe by slamming your fist through a door, but there is also the great technique of meditation. By just sitting with your emotions, noticing them, feeling them, without reacting or letting yourself be distracted by thoughts, sounds, symptoms etc.. Just do search on meditation. No need to buy incense and put on orange clothing, just sit down in a quiet peaceful location where you won't get bothered, close your eyes and focus on any emotions that were triggered by journalling. There are numerous guided meditations on the internet, just browse youtube and find one you like. Or if you hate hearing a voice telling you what to do, like me, just do it with some sea shore sounds or whatever that you find calming.
Be aware of any resistance while journalling. Resistance is a dead giveaway from your brain that there is something to investigate further, so don't let it stop you and journal further.
Also do not journal all day, one to two hours a day should be more than enough.
Again, go read the link I gave you to see what fits you best.

 

I am sorry to read the first part of what would be a constructive post otherwise in the thread about seeing a doctor. I also reported you again, especially because you posted it in a thread where I clearly asked to keep it appropriate and constructive for good reasons.
I really put time and energy in trying to help you here, because I feel everybody deserves a chance, but you have a self destructive tendency to bash the people that try to help you. I forgive you for acting the way you do and I sincerely hope you find a way to feel better, but this simply isn't working for me. As of now I cannot and will not react to your postings.