Day 2 day two, sad, tired, and in some pain.... when will i see improvement

day two... i have been doing the exercises. wow.... i am pretty angry with a lot of people in my life. and feeling quite helpless about it all. i also wasn't nice to my husband earlier today. he became angry and instead of arguing more, i just cried and cried. not like me but the tooth pain is still around. not as bad but now i have pain and pressure behind my eye... less pain in the back of my neck. this shifting pain in my head is just so weird. it feels like sinus pressure. and my sleep has been so bad. not from pain. just fitful. unless i take something to sleep. but i don't want to fall into that habit. i do notice the day after a good night's sleep is much less painful though.
exercise helps. but mostly i feel sad right now and wanting to know at what point will i begin to feel better? and what if i never discover or change whatever it is that is causing the tms?

 

What is causing your TMS is many factors. THe focus on the body, the fear. Not being at peace with your emotions and not being able to control your reactions is just a few things. The more you do the program the more you will learn how to turn all of this around. Its good that you get to cry, you can feel that emotion. Now you need to learn to meditate. Be mindful, Walk in nature and become at one with the beauty. In time it will be good for you to pick up on your old hobbies that you have stopped doing over the years.

When you became unbalanced the body sent you anxiety and pain. Now its time to get back into balance by some of the above mentioned techniques. You have really just begun so be patient. Don't brood over getting this done over night cause that will only hinder you. Ask questions like you did here, and then ask and ask again. Stay with your program and you will learn and grow.

Most important give yourself a break from all the stress and love you right where you are faults and all.

Bless you

 

jlala... I can feel your pain in the words you expressed. And I can promise you as you work through this program, you WILL feel better - you'll feel better about yourself and then the TMS starts changing and dissipating. I am not completely free of TMS yet but its changed so much that its easier to be optimistic than depressed. When I'm having a hard day or the feeling of despair starts coming up - I spend time on the forum here and end up feeling uplifted by everyone else's stories... and at the very least - to read about other people's journeys and know that I'm not the only one dealing with this crazy mind body syndrome!! Keep up the work, keep sharing here on the forum, soak up the understanding and support that comes from fellow members and I promise you will feel better!

 

Thank you -- Eric and "coach" . I truly appreciate the support. I agree that I need to keep working, even on days that I feel better. I am realizing more and more about myself.... but I still question my symptoms -- it's difficult to accept the TMS diagnosis, even though it makes so much sense.

I wonder how far along the both of you are in the process? I will take a look at your posts so that I might know your stories. When I look back over the years, I see a pattern that began so early in childhood with so much internal conflict. I am surprised I made it this far without a complete meltdown. I suppose I should thank my physical symptoms for that. Perhaps they have served as a way for me to keep moving, despite the undercurrent of emotional pain that I have felt. I just want to feel joy again -- the kind of joy I knew on the last day of school when I was ten or the joy I knew when I first fell in love with my college sweetheart. I can remember how carefree we both were the day we drove to the beach in our convertible.... just smiling and so in love without a care or a responsibility in the world.

I like to think back to happy moments. And yesterday, walking with my young adult children and my husband, we spotted a bear in the trees. I was a little frightened but it was more exciting and fun than scary. For these moments, I am grateful.

I want to be able to enjoy these moments and to worry less about everything else.

Eric, I am trying very hard to learn meditation. It's been a challenge as I can't always focus as well as I would like. I am also in the process of cutting back on work hours. I own my own business where I care for people who are in emotional pain. I tend to want to help everyone and haven't been so good at turning down new inquiries -- particularly from those who are referred through former patients or via medical doctors in the area. I am proud of myself as I have finally (since the pain became more prominent ) started saying and meaning no. I am providing referrals and not worrying about it. I took today off to spend some alone time. I ran a few miles and now I am writing here, feeling grateful for all of supportive words and also, hopeful about finding peace.

 

Day 5 -- wrote the post above and then read today's assignment....

Dr. Schubiner was speaking to me, apparently --

"Like many people with MBS, she had a very strong dose of the “shoulds” (as Dr. Sarno often refers to Freud’s superego or conscience).As her life became more complicated and busy, she tried to do more and more for everyone else.Finally, her body reacted by giving her severe migraine headaches and fatigue.These reactions were her body’s way of trying to protect her, i.e. forcing her to rest, to lie down, to stop doing so much for everyone else and to do something for herself.Unfortunately, she there was a great cost to this response, i.e. severe pain and fatigue."

This sounds soooo familiar!

 

I just wanted to say the fact that you remember and can feel these things is wonderful and will greatly aid in your recovery!!

Those days and experiences are coming back!!