Day 6 - First Post

Good Morning!

I would first like to say how grateful I am for all of this. What a miracle technology can be. I am grateful for everyone's vulnerability here, and helpfulness to each other. It is truly like a door opened and a bunch of relief and understanding has waved over me through reading and researching through posts and stories.

I am on Day 6 today. I know I was supposed to post something on Day 1, but it took me a lot of time to process all of this.

It all started with one symptom moving to a new area and starting a new job. I was terrified and my neck would crack and freeze while I was driving. Previous whiplash flashbacks. Flash forward two years later, almost to the day.

Currently everything had escalated. I had been experiencing chest pain, migraines, headaches every day, TMJ, rapid-heart beat(also heard in my ears), ringing in my ears, neck pain radiating from my jaw, eye pain, panic attacks, and anxiety and overwhelming worry.

I was convinced with the chest pain which was my most recent symptom that something was indeed wrong with me, and I was clearly going to die.

I stopped doing yoga, dancing, and hiking. Things I absolutely love, cause I was terrified. I stopped chewing on the left side of my mouth where TMJ symptoms were, cause I didn't want to make it worse. Fear of this pain had taken over my life.

I was now terrified of living.

I was waiting for a doctors appointment for over a month. Another doctor. All previous had basically told me I was crazy, and there was nothing wrong with me. I was a healthy 30 year old female who was highly active and I clearly needed to just relax more. They have been telling me this for two years now, from ER visits to check ups.

Last week upon seeing a new doctor, I had a panic attack which driving to the appt. My trust level in Doctors now had been a trigger. She told me the exact same thing. Upon leaving I went home and cried my little heart out.

Sobbing I got on You tube and watched Dr. Schrubiner's lecture about MBS.

Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! These doctors were totally right in a way. Structurally, there is nothing wrong with my heart, my neck, my chest, any of it.

I know now to a date when certain pains in my body were triggered. All from extreme pressure and emotional traumas, not being able to navigate through stress and worry. The last two years have been the most demanding of my life thus far, and I had no tools in place to really cope with anything that has come up. From relationships issues, going into extreme financial debt, depression, to managing my first business, to not letting go of things that don't serve me, and forgetting how to enjoy the things I love most.

Dr. Schubiner mentioned this website, and it cracked me wide open. I can't get enough of this. I seriously want to take the next month off and just do all of this and get my life back out of this fear based mentality.

I feel better already. I haven't had a headache in 6 days!!!! I have had a headache almost every day for the last 9 months. When my chest pain comes up, I tell it I no longer need it and thank you for waking me up.

The best thing is realizing all of my coping mechanisms kept me trapped in this pain cycle. Drinking to mask pain, smoking when stressed. Then feeling guilty I was not taking better care of myself. But I didn't know how. I haven't done either since starting this last week. The urge is gone. I feel liberated and free from certain things that have plagued me.

Thank you to all of you for being so brave.

Even though the pain might resurface, I am no longer willing to ignore what it has to teach me or be afraid of it. Nothing to fear but fear itself right?

All my love, and you all ROCK!

Lauren

 

Hi, Lauren. Welcome to the TMS community and to starting the SEProgram. I want to hug you for your wonderful post.
You already know and believe that your pains are from your emotions and are not structural, so TMS and the SEProgram will keep helping you/
It's great that the headaches are going away.
Yes, don't let fear stand in your way of healing. Fear is all in the mind, but it can be powerful. I fight it with positive thinking, living in the present,
deep breathing, and meditation.

Meditation combined with deep breathing is very relaxing. I've recently started a method of meditation that I really like.
It's called the Meditation Response:

Herbert Benson, M.D. documented benefits experienced through traditional forms of Christian and Jewish prayer. Benson published his “Relaxation Response” method of stress reduction without the mysticism associated with TM. Short structured rest periods provide health benefits.

Herbert Benson, M.D.
Associate Professor of Medicine
Harvard Medical School
and founder of the
Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine
824 Boylston St.
Chestnut Hill, MA 02467-2508
Phone: (617) 991-0102 Toll free: (866) 509-0732
MBMI@CareGroup.Harvard.edu


On some measurements
The Relaxation Response and Transcendental Meditation
appear to be similar.

However, TM is taught in a methodical way
by certified instructors who charge $1,000 to make sure the student
gets the maximum benefits, with check-ups for life.

TM may be a cult or religion.

There are no such instructors for the free RR
and no follow up program.



Steps to Elicit the Relaxation Response
The following is the technique reprinted with permission from Dr. Herbert Benson's book
The Relaxation Response pages 162-163
1. Sit quietly in a comfortable position.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Deeply relax all your muscles,
beginning at your feet and progressing up to your face.
Keep them relaxed.
4. Breathe through your nose.
Become aware of your breathing.
As you breathe out, say the word, "one"*,
silently to yourself. For example,
breathe in ... out, "one",- in .. out, "one", etc.
Breathe easily and naturally.
5. Continue for 10 to 20 minutes.
You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm.
When you finish, sit quietly for several minutes,
at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes opened.
Do not stand up for a few minutes.
6. Do not worry about whether you are successful
in achieving a deep level of relaxation.
Maintain a passive attitude and permit relaxation to occur at its own pace.
When distracting thoughts occur,
try to ignore them by not dwelling upon them
and return to repeating "one."
With practice, the response should come with little effort.
Practice the technique once or twice daily,
but not within two hours after any meal,
since the digestive processes seem to interfere with
the elicitation of the Relaxation Response.
* It is better to use a soothing, mellifluous sound, preferably with no meaning.
or association, to avoid stimulation of unnecessary thoughts - a mantra.

 

Good Morning Walt!

Thank you so much for your response. I would love a hug! I'm sending you one right now. Thank you for this meditation suggestion. I have already started meditating the last couple of days. Thank you for the work and support you give everyone on this wiki page. I honestly want to shout this wonderful process from rooftops and mountains.

Have a very happy Thursday!

Lauren