I posted this yesterday in the General Forum because I thought it was more appropriate but maybe not. I thought I was on Day 10 but today is actually Day 10. I was on Day 9. Although I thought about the journaling topic I just didn't feel like writing so maybe I need to go back to Day 9. I went to a local therapist (not a TMS therapist_ but she seemed to think I was doing okay. I left with a mindfulness exercise for my anxious ways. I know I need that but that isn't going to solve my problems I think. So I am not going back. After that I didn't feel like writing. I took a day off & watched a movie. So here is my post from yesterday as I mentioned: "I am on Day 10 of the Structured Education Program, am 36 years old & about to start my 2nd semester of nursing school. Needless to say, all this information has SHAKEN my world. Part of the reason I went back to school to pursue nursing is all these pain problems I had. In case you are wondering, the other 2 reasons I decided to go back to school are that I didn't like/believe in what I was doing so much anymore (I worked in pharmacy & already didn't believe that pills are the way but a plant based diet such as Dr. Fuhrman's Eat to Live is) & also that I just didn't think my career was "good enough" (queue the TMS personality). Anyway, since I already didn't feel I was going to be a mainstream nurse I still think my calling within the field of nursing will find me. Just the reasons I am going back this semester are different than the reasons I started. I find it funny that I quit my pharmacy tech work because I didn't believe in it & now I am in a similar boat with nursing. Just about a week ago I was literally crying to my husband about how can I possibly go on in nursing. Again, I truly feel my path is within nursing...it is even clearer to me now. I was just in the kitchen cooking and listening to the Stress & Pain Conference YouTube video where Dr. Schubiner mentioned we need to get Oprah & Dr. Oz behind us. So how do we make that happen??? The message needs to get out there more! Although, I feel I saw something like this on Dr. Oz a couple of years ago & thought it was nonsense at the time. Am I behind & something was on Dr. Oz f I also received an email from my school regarding an essay contest in which the topic is "Is there a story from the history of the health science or public health that has inspired you in some way or that has shaped your understanding of humanity's quest for scientific knowledge & the development of effective clinical or public health practice?" Um, HELL YES! Normally I would delete these emails but I feel compelled to write on this (2500 word limit). Given my typical TMS personality though I can find myself diving into this obsessively to make the perfect essay with all the facts (even though I am not worried about winning the $5o0) that this can end up taking me too much time. So I am torn if I should take this on 10 days into this recovery program. The due date for the essay is Oct 12th but of course I would want to get most of it done before school starts Aug. 24th (if I decide to do it). I am reading The Divided Mind right now so I have some ideas floating in my head. I am thinking of a topic on "When Was the Mind Taken Out of Medicine?" BUT maybe I should just drop it & focus on recovery & school starting back up. In addition, my school sent an email just a couple of days later regarding a new Mental Health Committee formed & they are accepting applications for various positions. I am interested in the Outreach Coordinator position (it will focus on developing & supporting programs to improve student wellness, including mindfulness practices, especially academic curricula). It just seems like such important work. But again, I wonder if I am thinking of too many things. I usually take on NOTHING extra while in school because I dive into my studies as an artist would dive into a new painting. I just don't like to put the extra burden on myself...HOWEVER, I am trying to lead a more balanced life. It can't be all school. I know my priority had to be on recovery. So back to this Dr. Oz thing...how do we make this happen? I will happily volunteer to go on the show "