Day 1

I am on Day 1 of the Structured Educational Program. I've struggled with chronic back pain for decades and a few other chronic symptoms that rear their heads in rotating schedules. About 5 years ago I read Healing Back Pain on a flight from NY to LA while I was in the midst of a debilitating spasm. I had no idea how I was going to sit on the plane. As I read the book, and saw the truth of myself in it, I felt my symptoms miraculously alleviating. I literally walked off the plane pain free. I wish that was the end of the story, but it isn't. I've had chronic debilitating pain many times since and didn't really remember the TMS option to support my process of healing. It wasn't until last week that a friend reminded me about TMS when she had tremendous success with a neck spasm she was having.

I follow her advice and found the forum and have been reading and watching videos. I truly believe that ALL of my symptoms are TMS related. I am a deeply rooted perfectionist and have seen emotional triggers cause my physical pain. I've also been diagnosed with many "physical causes" and have been given the equivalence of a death sentence by health practitioners. One PT told me to never do a forward bend again. I've been in abject fear of forward bending ever since even though I used to practice yoga 6x a week for several decades. The belief in disability and fear of the pain has been so paralyzing and has kept the pain cycle in control of my life's happiness and expansion.

I am ready to be in physical freedom and vibrancy. I am ready to believe in my body in all ways again. I've been saying to myself, "My body, and all its parts, is healthy and strong in every posture and every activity." My back pain has diminished considerably in the past 3-4 days. I am noticing one of my other "symptoms" trying to get in. And some fear. Any support from the forum would be so appreciated.

Can anyone tell me if there is a workbook that can be printed for the Educational Program, or is it just the online daily entry. I'd love to print the activities and writing prompts and recommended reading so I can do it in other ways besides at my computer.

Thank you for your support and encouragement. I'm very inspired by everyone.

 

Hi, amartinpainfree. You healed before by believing in TMS and you have begun the SEP so I am totally confident you will heal again.

A workbook for the SEP? Sounds like a very good idea. I'll pass it on to Forest, the host of the TMSWiki. He already has a lot on his plate
with the web site, but might be interested in this.

The PT who told you never to bend forward, and those who told you that you would never heal ought not to be allowed to practice,
giving such negative thoughts to you. Try to forget they ever gave you fear. Fear perpetuates TMS pain. Fight fear by staying positive!

 

Hi amartinpainfree,
I love the quote above. I recall how "far gone" I was and how I too dreamed of this. Your words bring back what a Miracle my healing has felt like. I was headed for nerve surgery. I was on crutches and limping, in terrible foot pain. A four-year worsening nightmare... A few months later I was ski mountaineering again, with a huge backpack. My best wishes to you in your healing journey.
Andy B.