Day 1 Day 1

Hello. I have been suffering from debilitating knee pain for 2 years (this week!) The knee pain set in, in both knees (but strongest in right knee) 6 weeks after my son's last chemotherapy treatment for bilateral Wilms (cancer on both kidneys).

I spent that year during Sky's treatments putting aside intense pain, mostly in my back. Pushing through and also caring for a newborn.

When my knees collapsed, I went to see an orthopedist, and through tear soaked eyes, asked him if there was any way that the stress and total terror of my son's cancer diagnosis and treatments could have contributed to the pain in my knees. He said, "absolutely not."

After an MRI, I learned that I had osteonecrosis (blood was not getting to 2 areas of my right knee properly). The treatment was no weight baring for 3 weeks. I experienced severe muscle atrophy. After that, I found my knee pain continue to grow. The fear of the pain continued to increase the pain.

I am a long time meditator and felt that I was pretty aware of my emotions. I even thought I was pretty emotionally intelligent and able to watch my emotions come and release them. But this experience has been extremely humbling. Throughout Sky's treatments, I was terrified that he would pass away, and I was so afraid of my grief, that I kept my terror at bay. I held it all back, afraid that if I let out too much, I would be overwhelmed by a tide of emotions so intense that I didn't know I could survive it. I also felt extreme guilt for not being able to be with Sky every moment of every day, of having to stay home with my baby and older daughter while Sky's father brought him to his 2-day treatments, quite a distance from our home.

Over these last 2 years I have worked with 4 different physical therapists, an osteopath, and an orthopedist. A follow up MRI confirmed that my osteonecrosis disappeared, and that while I had cartilage inflamation in my right knee, no other structural abnormalities could be found, and no problems in my left knee could be found either.

One year ago my sister recommended Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain and I assumed that it had nothing to offer me as my pain was in my knees and I always felt like she over-psychoanalyzed everything. Yesterday, I was moved to pick it up again, and I felt like I was reading about myself. I literally threw down my braces, went outside, and took a walk (I haven't walked more than 1 block at a time these past 2 years). Everytime I felt the unstable feeling or moments of pain in my knee, I turned to my emotions. I walked and walked.

Today, I spent the day on my feet (I never spend more than 2 minutes on my feet at a time). I'm not in pain. I have this discomfort in my knees, but it is not painful. I'm feeling very hopeful about the possibilities.

In case you've made it this far in my story, I am so happy to share with you that Sky is well and thriving.
Thanks for reading!
Janine

 

Hi Janine28,

Welcome to the Forum and the SEP. Your story reminds me of mine. I was suffering from intense foot pain and heading for surgery. A friend recommended books by Dr. Sarno, finally even sent them to me. I resisted, partly thinking that because of my inner psycho-spiritual work for 15 years that "this TMS couldn't happen to me." I was wrong, and when I embraced Dr. Sarno's work as applying to me, I was skiing with a backpack in a few months, after hobbling around for several years, never taking a step without pain.

But you don't need to hear this from me because you have your own "miracle" unfolding. Bravo to you, and to Dr. Sarno.

Andy B

 

Thanks so much for your message Andy. So helpful to connect with others with similar experiences. Over these past 2 years I hadn't met anyone with these kinds of issues, and suddenly a whole world has opened up. All the best to you!
Janine

 

Your story is very encouraging and moving. It's amazing how quickly Dr. Sarno's ideas can effect positive results! I had a similar experience last December -- my pain disappeared in a matter of days after reading his book. But, because I didn't do the emotional work, it came back. That's why I'm here.

I just want to say welcome and I am happy to hear that your son is doing better -- and that you are, too!
Thaxter

 

Hi Thaxter,
Thanks for your message and encouraging words. This is day 3 for me, and I can see how critical the emotional work is-- and how easy it is to bypass it and not pay attention! I'm glad that you are back and on the road to healing.
Take care,
Janine

 

An amazing story, Janine. And I'm so glad your son is doing better. My pain is peanuts compared to yours and others' (sciatica). But I'm feeling a smidge discouraged that after reading Dr. Sarno's 'The Mindbody Prescription', I have not felt a sudden evaporation of pain. But I'm hopeful! Thanks for sharing your story.

Saguaro66

 

Dear Saguaro66,
Thanks for your message and kind words about my son. While a lot of my pain released once I recognized the TMS, I think this will be a real process. The pain comes back in flash moments, and the key has been to go directly to my heart (what's going on emotionally?) instead of to my knees. They feel weak (I've protected them for so long), but I'm learning how to let go of my protections that have reinforced a cycle of pain.

From everything I'm reading, it seems that for most the release of pain is more of a process. It takes real courage to face our deepest emotions. I honor you for your process.

Janine