Anxiety as a symptom imperative

The dance of the symptom imperative. On the move. On the run. Divergence. Red herring.

My new symptom imperative is that me brain will try to create worry about things not worth worrying about or not pertinent to right now to distract me from bigger realities or situations where I find myself. Difficulties which are on the horizon today. Big feelings of sadness or fear of loss usually.

I am reminding myself I CAN handle these big feelings. They are like little kids I take care of. I do have the tools, the patience, & the love, etc.

LexyLucy

 

Wonderful post LexyLucy. Nice to understand what we're being distracted from, and hold all of this with steadfastness and compassion.

 

Thank you !!!

 

Yes - I realize it is not only big feelings my brain is trying to distract me from but also things that I would like to do in my life. Including things that bring me joy. Brene Brown says that joy is the most vulnerable emotion. I find this is true for me. If I feel excited to meet with someone or do something I can have distracting TMS thoughts- pain , or in this case- feelings of overwhelm or concerns that I really need to take care of certain responsibilities RIGHT NOW!!! IMMEDIATELY!!!! Like certain other things that I hadn't planned on doing are really important.

 

Joy is a special concept for me. For many years I suffered from debilitating pain, but I always tried to remind myself that I could still choose to be joyful.
A. Lincoln stated that most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
I really find that to be true. I laugh a lot. It helps me tolerate all my wrinkles!

 

Anxious here...and glad to be on this thread right NOW.
I had pinhole gum surgery last week and I am supposed to take a while to heal. There is real soreness, real discomfort, a little pain. My concern is the symptom imperative. I'm anxious, I'm resting, exhausted from a week of antibiotics. I have had two migraines in one week, both of which came on during meditation.
Any wonder? I am writing this and my husband is concurrently reading me the New York Times. I want to be interested and engaged BUT I am too busy being irritated and anxious.
I am going to stop and be grateful. For everything.

 

oh yes! I have had some dental stuff recently. I was eating a carrot and my tooth cracked in half. I have a crown on it now but i still have some pain and cold sensitivity. I still eat on the other side. I have no idea if this is in part TMS. My dentist said he doesn't think my roots are damaged but ...

My hip and inner part of my illiac crest, psoas? have been feeling strange. I am aware that TMS can cut off oxygen supply and blood flow to muscles but can it tighten muscles? Or - is that HOW muscles can tighten? My lower back and hip pain has gone down about 80% which is quite amazing & a lot but that last 20% can be distracting. And I start to feel like there is just a tight muscle which is very deep but maybe there is no such thing. Red Herring.

I went to a Chi Nei Tsang specialist who alerted me that my pain was in my second chakra. I started thinking about how that first relationship with my father had been severed when he moved out of the house. The second chakra is relationships.

I'm meeting my boyfriend's father for the first time tomorrow. He left the family when my boyfriend was 2 for another woman. But my boyfriend doesn't have a pain in his hip?

Reminding myself -- i don't need my father anymore. I love him but I don't need him. I can take care of myself now. I don't need my boyfriend either- although he's a good chap - funny too. And I certainly don't need my boyfriend's father

My back feels better.

Red Herring's were herrings smoked to a red perfection. It is said that the smell was so pungent it could be used to create a false trail for criminals escaping!!!

LexyLucy

 

I am still struggling with this issue.

A lot of anxiety about feeling exposed and feeling seen. I am starting a new business. I never realized how vulnerable people can feel as entrepreneurs. To innovate in that way. I am really putting myself out there.

 

I get it! Have been an entrepreneur for almost thirty years - seven businesses. One ongoing 25 years. It takes a certain stamina for sure.
If you can imagine the anxiety as excitement - that's what helps me. They feel the same - the thinking is the problem.
Currently writing a book - I don't love the process. I want to create and move on rather than edit and edit and craft and edit. The vulnerability of this book is the ultimate angst for me. But I keep returning to it. When it's right it's right.

Best wishes in your endeavor!! There are great support groups for business owners if you are open to them. Happy to share that information with you.

 

Bodhigirl, thank you for your post. I am an attorney with my own law practice, and that makes me a small business owner. I have tons of anxiety about my practice and continued prosperity, even though I have survived nicely for over 20 years. I cannot get over the idea that the wheels are going to come off any day now. I love your advice to imagine the anxiety as excitement, and that is what I am going to do.

 

Thanks Bodhigirl. Wow seven businesses. Yeah, it's my first business. I am just starting out.

I'm a singer so I was in bands for about 15 years always performing and putting on shows. That was really fun. I enjoyed it. In a way a band is a business. Because you promote and sign contracts and work together.

But this business I am starting is in a field I know hardly anything about. And I can tell that my products are kind of wonky. So it is embarrassing.


LL